Arrrggghhh EXAM results

[Pantigres]

So I've been diagnosed with depression for about a year. These last couple of weeks seemed pretty good so much so that my doctor even lowered the dosage on my medication. But then exam results came out and I have these weird disappointment and shame as they were soooo much lower than what I expected. I know depression did significantly impact my studies but u hate making excuses for myself. But here's the thing I'm still going to be fine I know realistically this won't affect me that much. In fact I know I probably can transfer into my preferred course. But I'm still so shook. I've had to change my results so my parents don't abuse me over it. Only my sister knows she's been so understanding. Idk I feel pathetic I went to a selective entry school and I bet I got the lowest score in the year level..... please some help me deal with the weird chemicals in my brain.

[PBelle]

Hi Pantigres,

Hey, I remember those school years and the disappointment that I had when my exam results came out. I got good marks, but overall my score was lower due to a smart year, it was UAI then not Atar. And I knew that I had tried my hardest due to the fact of winning the major award at school for consistency and effort in studies. So I know how you must be feeling right now.

And I know how your head goes crazy with thoughts, I have the same problem. I'm new to this to, I only just admitted that I need help, so maybe we can work together on this. I'm thinking positive thoughts. I created myself a mascot and alto ego who is going to be my supportive guardian in my head and drive me to those positive thoughts. It might seem weird to some, but it is kind of my motivational voice in my head. Maybe you could give it ago. Just a thought....

All the best.

[White_Rose]

Dear Pantigres and PBelle

A warm welcome to Beyond Blue for both of you. It's a long time since I was at school but I still remember the disappointment of not doing as well as I had thought. I also remember feeling a bit ashamed thinking perhaps I had not tried hard enough. Please do not beat yourself up too much, it is not worthwhile.

So Pantigres what do you want to study? Do you have a career in mind? When I left school I simply went to work and it took years before I realised what I wanted to do. I went to uni in my forties and was very nervous about studying with all the school leavers, but they were friendly and I did well. One of the advantages of attending uni a bit later than many others is that you have some life experience. I remember one lecturer saying the older students went to uni because they wanted to be there, while school leavers went to uni because it was the natural next step. Maybe this is the reason why so many leave during the first year.

Anyway this does not apply to you. I wanted to say there is usually an alternative. Oh dear, do I sound like grandma?

Perhaps you can see your GP again and go back to the higher amount of antidepressant. Sometimes it is the AD that keeps you happy and functioning until you are stronger and have strategies to manage. I know it's a nuisance taking meds when you feel OK, but it's the same as taking an antibiotic, you need to take all the tablets and not stop because you feel better.

PBelle What a great reply to Pantigres. Yes, we do need some motivation to get well which sounds silly because why would we want to be unwell. Please don't try to do this on your own. It's great to have an alto ego to talk to and I hope you talk out loud. Your thoughts and words sound different when spoken than hearing them in your head. It really is like having a second opinion.

The first step is always admitting you need help. Do you see a counsellor of some sort? It is important to have that support.

I would love to continue talking with both of you.

Mary

[PBelle]

Hey White Rose, I have been trying to do this alone for many years, but have finally admitted that I can't do it alone. That's why I joined here and I have just contacted a counsellor through anglicare cause I can't afford the sessions. Hopefully things will get better.

[Elizabeth CP]

My oldest son was disappointed to miss out on the course he wanted but did the course he was offered. A year later his results were good enough to transfer but he enjoyed the course he was doing & has since graduated & has been happily working in very good jobs in his chosen profession. Sometimes what appears to be a disaster turns out OK. Another son didn't do well. I don't think he tried hard enough. After working in a dead end job (his choice) he decided to return to study. He was accepted as a mature age student & did very well.

My youngest had a difficult yr12 due to serious family issues causing a lot of stress. She was extremely disappointed with her results. I remember her crying & thinking her life was over because she couldn't do what she wanted. Once she adjusted to the initial disappointment she turned back to me for support (initially she couldn't talk to anyone because she was so upset). Fortunately we were able to get some advice from a school careers advisor & she managed to get into a course she enjoyed & now works in that field.

I share these stories to show you that not getting the results you might have wanted is not the end of the world. Many students are disappointed getting lower results than they want even when they have tried hard. Seek out support to cope at this time particularly people you trust. Are you sure your parents would abuse you rather than understanding. Hopefully whatever you do in the future will end up feeling right for you.

[Pantigres]

here's the thing my aspirations lie outside a university degree. But obvious a career in the creative field can be unreliable, I desperately want it to work out, just in case uni is a back up option which i could settle for. Also my parents are very unsupportive of all this and only think you can get job if you do medicine. They are extremely abusive about this - and have been a significant reason why i have depression. I feel paralysed I tell myself i don't what they think, but i find myself constructing elaborate webs of lies so they don't yell about my ATAR. I don't know what to do i really hate.........arghghhhh

[Elizabeth CP]

When my son went to uni as a mature age student his marks in yr 12 were irrelevant so stop worrying. Even if you decide to go to uni later there are ways to get in even if your results were poor. Now you need to focus on finding ways to achieve your goal. Seek out opportunities to get support in this process. Remember it is your life not your parents. Sure it might not work out but there are plenty of young people who go to uni & then decide it was a waste of time & do something different. At least if you change your mind you won't have a huge HECS debt!!! Good luck.

[White_Rose]

Hello PBelle

So pleased you have reached out for help both at BB and with a counsellor. Anglicare can be a good alternative to other forms of counselling. It really is sad how some people must go without any form of help because of cost. In a country which acknowledges MH is a problem I would think directing more resources in that area would be a logical alternative.

I suggest you also keep your GP in the loop, especially if you take medication. Apart from needing prescriptions your GP can monitor your progress and cut back or change meds as required.

Mary