Am I unlovable?

[Guest_59056682]

These past few days, my boyfriend and I haven't been doing well, Ive been struggling a lot with my anxiety and my overthinking because of the health issues I've been going through, so I asked my boyfriend if he still wanted to be with me and he said "I don't know, I had a realisation about our relationship last night and I don't know what to think about it.", hearing that made me really scared so I asked him what he realised and he said "I realised that I'm not scared of losing you. In my past relationship, I was terrified of losing my girlfriend but with you, I just don't feel that way."

He says that he still wants to be together and doesn't want to break up, but how are we going to work if he isn't scared of losing me??

My whole life I've been the one worrying about losing people and nobody has ever been worried about losing me.

Am I just unlovable?

Am I just good for sex?

[Croix]

Dear New Member~

Welcome here to the Forum, it was a good move on your part to see what other people think about this.

Frankly I think you have things the wrong way round, if you are in a good relationship with someone else you know them, trust them and believe they will always be on your side.

So if your boyfriend has got beyond the stage of worrying about losing you it most probably means he has reached the stage I've just descried, he knows you, trusts you and feels secure. With his past relationship if he was always worrying he never reached that stage.  What could be better?

You still worry, and I guess that is probably partly lack of self confidence and needing to get to know him better. It will come in time. The sex is a bonus that brings you even closer.

If he is puzzled about not worrying tell him it's good news.

You know you will always be welcome here if you want to talk more

Croix

[Guest_45934529]

hi, i hope this finds u well.

i’m having a hard time wording my reply because i find this so relatable, and yet i know past me could not have even processed thinking i was worth anything more.

please give ur love to those who deserve and reciprocate it. there is definitely people out there. as big and lonely as the world seems a lot of the population is filled with the same people who would offer so much just to experience the same  opportunity. 

ultimately it is ur choice, but if u need proof that theres something on the other side of the coin, theres me. i also had a lustful ex who was my first love. for months on end i was positive he was still the one after treating me so inhumane and lustfully. 

but a while afterwards i decided to give my dating my current bf a go and i must say, genuinely a blessing in disguise. i can’t even fathom turning back and every part of my life is subsequently better. 

the answer is always no for the last questions u asked. it’s upsetting to know u’ve been convinced so. 

best of luck to both u and anyone else experiencing something similar. ur never alone.