Am I too anxious? Is it even anxiety?

[My-life-is-a-constant-Mess]

Hi,

I have always been a fairly anxious person but i never considered it that bad or a problem but people in my life say i'm extremely anxious. I cant actually tell when i'm anxious anymore its so normal but lately it has escalated and my family and my school councillor and my teachers are concerned. I don't know where to start so i'll list all my problems

1. I have an intense fear of dying most of my anxiety is related to health and dying iv always been a hypochondriac but its getting ridiculous ie. chest pain = Heart attack, Wont go in water since I found out about a rare bacteria that lives in water and eats your brain and only 4 people in the world have survived, cant drive because im to scared to get in the car in case I crash and die, plane going over the house at night = Bomb or danger, scared of the beach because I dont know whats in the water, If death is mentioned I automatically start thinking about how I will die and I cant stop it happening eventually and will start feel teary and panicky I have to get rid of the thought etc. I could go on forever.

2. I have a problem with spiders, I have a process I do every night regardless of consequences or circumstances that I do to ease anxiety and stop spiders getting into my room. I check the whole room with a torch, floor behind bed under bed behind photos i even check the celling, the window frame and behind the blind. I remove the mattress to check the bed frame for spiders then I shake out all my bedding and put it on the bed then I spray all entrances and exits to room with bug spray then i build a barrier under my door with multiple hoddies folded to make my door almost air tight so the spiders cant get in, every time I leave the room at night I will repeat this process, sometimes I do it just to check before I actually sleep. Some people think this is a bit ritualistic and becoming OCDish but I don't do it in a particular order and I only do it at mums house (at dadsI room check but dont put up the barrier. I sleep with a can of bug spray and a shoe to kill spiders

3. Not sure if its anxiety. I am academically inclined but I ask all my teacher for reassurance and will check and re check all aspects of the assignment with the teacher so I know iv done it correct and if i'm over the word count I cant cut it in case I cut something good and make it worse. I cant do the assignments by myself for fear of sucking or ruining my grade or getting it wrong

Am I too anxious whats going on? Help?

[Zeal]

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear that the anxiety is quite intense and causing you personal distress. I'm glad that your family, teachers and school counsellor have recognized that your anxiety is negatively affecting you, and that they want to support you.

This intense fear of dying and of developing an illness or disease is commonly referred to as health anxiety. I've experienced this kind of anxiety before, especially in my teen years. The ritualised behaviour around checking for spiders could indicate some form of OCD. Talking to your family doctor about this would be helpful.
The reassurance seeking and perfectionistic tendencies are often linked to anxiety. I was an anxious individual in the past (and still are to an extent), and I also sought reassurance from others and exhibited perfectionistic traits.

Seeing a psychologist and having a consistent GP was important when I was dealing with my anxiety issues, especially in my school years. If you're not already, you could see your school counsellor when you need emotional support at school. These sessions are confidential.

I hope you find this forum to be a supportive place. I'd love to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Nervybella]

Hi There,

Good on you for posting. The first post can be difficult, but like Zeal said, these forums are a very supportive and safe place to talk.

Have you sat down with your school counsellor and talked about how you're feeling? I thinks it's great that people in your life are looking out for you and noticed that you are struggling.

When I was in school, and now in my work life, I constantly seek reassurance, because I always think I am doing something wrong, I am always apologising to people when there is really no need to. It can be incredibly draining and deflates your sense of self worth.

Try not to think of yourself as "too anxious". My psychologist is trying to teach me to trust my feelings/emotions and take them at face value. If you feel anxious, you feel anxious, as awful as it can be, trying to suppress it may make it worse.

I hope something I have said is useful to you, let us know how you get on 🙂

Best,

Bella

[geoff]

Morning, OCD is caused by anxiety, and from what you have said to us that it doesn't necessarily have to do it done in a particular order, you do the one that's dominating your mind first of all.
I would like you to read up on OCD and see it you can relate to anything that has been said, it's an enormous section on BB, plus it's a very powerful controlling illness, which a few of us on this site also have, and would like to hear backfrom you. Geoff.

[My-life-is-a-constant-Mess]

Hi zeal,

I currently dont have a regular GP and am struggling to find one and I actually have seen a psychologist before for depression (which im still dealing with) and I really hated it I found it a waste of time and money. Im also reluctant to go because I cant afford to pay for any of my sessions as Im a student and my family are struggling financially. I had a mental health care plan so I got 10 free sessions in a 12 months period but I have trouble trusting people so that wasnt really enough sessions to help me and I think my psychologist was a bit rubbish.

[My-life-is-a-constant-Mess]

Hi geoff

Thanks for the response

I have done some reading on OCD and while I definitely see similarities I don't seem to fit the typical symptoms for OCD.

I definitely relate the the checking symptom in terms of the compulsive checking for spiders and checking and concern for my health and getting my school work checked and re checked by my teachers, also I often worry about have I shut the car boot properly have I turned my light off, is the gas off ect. but I don't always check to see if I have sometimes I do but not always. I also relate to being concerned about my health and bacterias and often I worry about anti biotic resistant superbugs and I wont eat meat at a restaurant in case I get sick.

Since im so anxious in general I really don't know whether these symptoms are just anxiety, possibly Generalised Anxiety Disorder or are symptoms of OCD. The spider thing was just a fear which developed into a phobia and anxiety and now to cope with the fear and anxiety and to ensure the spiders aren't in my room while i sleep I do the compulsion and I wont sleep unless I do it because If im asleep I cant control what happens to me.

The death anxiety is also related to I dont know what happens after I die I just think every thing stops but I cant imagine that and the fact that no mater what I do I will die eventually scares me because its out of my control. I also dont like the dark because I cant be in control of what might happen.

[Zeal]

Hey,

It's understandable that those 10 sessions weren't long enough to build rapport with the psychologist. That's the trouble with psychologist appointments - sometimes the expense makes it impractical to have frequent sessions, which means you don't have regular time to build trust with them (and also to talk about issues).

Have you been seeing your school counsellor regularly? This is a great alternative to psychologist appointments for you at the moment, as they are free and easily accessible.

I also have a fear of driving by the way, and I'm now 24. I haven't managed to drive anywhere but in a carpark, but I'm hoping that will change in the future.

If you need to speak to someone when you aren't at school and don't feel comfortable talking to your parents etc, you could call the Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800), which is 24/7 and for anyone aged under 25. There's an online chat option on their website too: https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids/get-help/webchat-counselling/

If you would like some well-written resources to look at in your own time, I recommend this site: http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm This page has workbook-style resources on anxiety disorders, depression, low self-esteem, self-compassion and other topics/issues.

Thanks for your reply 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal