struggle street....

[subiechick]

This is my first post and I’m a bit nervous and have no idea how to put my thoughts into words…but Ill try….
My husband suffers from severe depression and anxiety, he is also an alcoholic and smokes weed. Financially we are a mess and struggle each week to survive. We spend about $500 a week on beer, pot & smokes. I have just stopped smoking recently and asked my hubby to try and drink/smoke less but the less I do, the more he does. We are taking 2 steps forward and 5 back. This deepens his depression even more.
I can’t talk to him about how I feel for him, I’m not even sure I want to be together anymore as his mental health has taken a huge toll on me. I need to be ok for the kids and if we continue the life we are living I’m not sure how long I can do it. I suffer from very mild depression and anxiety but I feel its gradually getting worse. I want to tell him how I feel but I think he will do something stupid if I leave him and I cant live with that. He is on medication but the weed and beer seem to cancel it out.
I don’t know anymore. I feel like my whole life is suffering. I worry about the kids, my son (7) also has depression, emotional disregulation and anxiety. He needs contact emotional support.
I worry about work. I worry about how I will get by each week and how many lies I will tell when people ask me about hubby. I worry about paying bills and often lie to these companies to get a payment extension. I cant help but lie in bed every night, just worrying and crying myself to sleep.

[inkhart]

Hi subiechick,

I think you’ve done a good job of putting your worries into words. It sounds like you and your family are going through a really rough time right now. My heart goes out to you.

Are you seeing a doctor or psychologist at the moment? It sounds like you are making some proactive steps with your health, but I also know caring for others can take a lot of your time and energy. I think looking after your own mental health is just as important. If you’re not sure where to start, you can talk through your situation with the beyond blue support number.

Isaac

[baet123]

Hey Subie,

Welcome to the forums and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and emotions with us. It is extremely difficult at times to open up to people and you should extremely proud of yourself for doing so and wanting to get better and improve your situation.

Sorry to hear that your struggling at present and that you find yourself in a tough situation. Does your husband receive regular treatment for his depression and anxiety or? It is really important for your husband to receive treatment for the depression, anxiety and his alcohol/drug abuse. Dual diagnosis is viscous and leads to a cycle that is very hard to break unless underlying issues are treated at the same time.

Your husband may also need help treating his excessive drinking and drug use before he is able to focus and work on his emotional well-being. Have you looked into possibly admitting him into rehab? Is your husband suicide or does he express thoughts of self-harm? The Involuntary Drug and Alcohol Treatment (IDAT) Program provides short term care, with an involuntary supervised withdrawal component, to protect the health and safety of people with severe substance dependence who have experienced, or are at risk of, serious harm and whose decision making capacity is considered to be compromised due to their substance use.
The IDAT Program is a structured drug and alcohol treatment program that provides medically supervised withdrawal, rehabilitation and supportive interventions for patients with severe substance dependence.

I also believe that it is a good idea to ensure that you take care of yourself and your emotional well-being should be a major priority of yours also. If you believe that your current situation is detrimental to your emotional well-being is impacting on your quality of life, please seek professional assistance as professional intervention is often necessary when our daily lives are impacted by our emotional state.

You are doing a great job being supportive and you are extremely loving, caring, intelligent and resilient and these are amazing qualities you possess. Stay as strong and as positive and you can and pain is only temporary and their are better days ahead. It will get better.

If you're experiencing a short term financial crisis or emergency and are having difficulty in paying your electricity or gas bill, you can seek assistance through the Energy Accounts Payment Assistance (EAPA) Scheme.

I hope this helps and have a good week.

Nick.