Rural and lonely, but hi! :)

[Patks3]

Hi all, I am from rural SE SA. I moved down for work a couple of years ago, but am finding it hard to break into the community and the loneliness is getting up a bit. I am not very into sport, and will not go into team sports (I have given it a try but didn't enjoy it). I have tried to get into other community groups with limited success (either it folds or I am the youngest there by at least 20 years). For some context, I am a high school teacher who teaches photography and IT.

I am mainly looking to reach out and see if there are any creative ways to break the loneliness that haven't been covered by the usual advice from online (get a hobby, join a group, get outside etc).

Thanks 🙂

[Soberlicious96]

Hi Patks3,

Welcome to Beyond Blue, and well done for reaching out.

Unfortunately it can be difficult to make friends in small areas, and it is very tempting to give you the 'usual advice' ....... but have you thought about maybe starting your own friendship group of some sort? Maybe you are not the only person who is 'new in town' and there is someone else (maybe even more than one person) who could also be looking to make new friends.

You haven't mentioned a partner or children either? Shall I assume that you are therefore single and/or child-free?

I also find myself wondering if there are friendship apps in which to meet new people, but for friendship only? Could be worth a try? Maybe a Google search for something? For example, I found this article;

https://getthefriendsyouwant.com/apps-for-meeting-new-people-making-friends/

Anyway, I don't know if that helps or not. But at least now you know you've been heard and seen, and that's gotta be at least some sort of a good start, yeah?

Hope you can start making some new friends soon. Take care. xo

[Quercus]

Hi Patks3 and a warm welcome.

It can be very difficult to find your feet in a rural community when everyone seems to know eachother already. You're right when you mentioned joining a group or playing sport as the usual ways to make friends.

The other way I usually try is through work or volunteering. You mentioned you work at the school and I wondered if your colleagues have been very supportive? If you mentioned feeling isolated would they try help?

Soberlicious mentioned creating your own group which I wondered if this feels possible? As a teacher already you have the skills to run an adult class.

Photography is another thing that is my go to even if I'm an amateur. I love local wildflowers and take endless photos in the bush and near home. People I run into will often stop for a chat and to see the photos because it is their passion as well. I also have a blog where I post my photos and it is something I enjoy getting to write to people from all over the world. Is blogging something you have ever thought about? You mentioned getting outside is one of the usual suggestions and I hoped maybe the blogging side might make it slightly different.

Volunteer work is another thing I have always thought helps tie you to your community. Whether it is the volunteer fire brigade, local op shop, church, tidy towns group... There is always someone who needs help.

I'll stop there for now but it would be lovely to hear if you feel any of our suggestions might work for you. It's absolutely ok if they don't it will just mean everyone will have to be more creative 😊.

If you find yourself having a lonely day please know these forums are always here for you. There is a section called the social zone which has lots of lighter discussions you might like to join in.

Nat