Dear TMC
Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Sadly it's a situation many of us experience. All of us feel inadequate and stupid, depression does this to us. And no, you are most definitely not alone.
Crying for no apparent reason and wanting to hide away is place I have been in many times. It's other name is the Black Dog. It tries to jump all over you and you feel you have no control over yourself. The dog barks so loudly you cannot hear yourself, just this noise in your head with occasional comments about silly you are, useless and sadly it makes us feel unloved and unwanted.
When you are feeling this bad it's a good idea to see your GP. This is the person who can properly diagnose your complaint. I am making an assumption by calling it depression. You may be given some antidepressant tablets. How do you feel about this? Many people try to get well without taking medication. Sometimes it works, but it's a long, hard road.
What would be helpful to your GP is a list of your symptoms. Can you sit down and write about yourself? A list is all you need. If the GP wants more detail he/she will ask. What do you need to write? Sleeping patterns, lack of motivation to do anything, constant crying (a big giveaway), wanting to hide away, getting angry over nothing, feeling lost and heaps more. This is a suggestion so only write the things that apply to you.
Can you tell us a bit about yourself? I am guessing you are female, mother, children at school? It's such a horrible place to be and I applaud you for having the courage to write on BB. Do you have family around, partner, paid work, pastimes or activities you enjoy doing? It is important to have activities you enjoy, even if you do not feel like doing them at the moment.
I was depressed 16 years ago but unfortunately it came back a few years ago. Because there were specific events that set of my depression, and my GP was the person caring for, when I completely fell apart and a year ago started to see a Psychiatrist. This is not because my GP was not taking care of me. She took very good care of me. Unfortunately I had breast cancer a couple of years ago and once the surgery and radiation treatment was finished I was put on a medication that interacted badly with my AD. Not a good look, hence the psych who helps me and talks to my GP. It's a great partnership.
I hope you will continue to write in here. Have a chat to your GP.
Mary
