New around Here, and Feeling Stressed

HppyCamel · ‎25-06-2014

Hi,

Figured the main community board would be the place to come and introduce myself as a new poster here.

This is the first time I'm reaching out in any way to anybody about the way I'm feeling, I'm usually not the sharing type.

For quite some time now, at least a couple of years that I've been considering the idea that I may be suffering depression and/or anxiety of some kind, though I have never actually been diagnosed, as I mentioned above I am yet to speak to anybody about it, and I think it's mostly because I often doubt myself when I think about even having a problem. I don't want to say something in case I'm just doing this to myself by being lazy, and thus I would just be seeking attention by bringing it up.

I'm 27, male, I have a full time job and I'm studying at TAFE. I don't feel like I have many close friends that I can talk to anymore, so I guess this is why I'm here just looking for some people to talk to.

I kind of want to put more information in this post, but I really don't know what else to so, as I have so much that I've wanted to say for a very long time. But for now I guess I'll leave it as is, keep it reasonably short, and hopefully let the conversation flow.

Shellz__22 · ‎25-06-2014

Hey,

Welcome. You know what sometimes you don't need to go any further than letting it out and this is an awesome place to do that. 🙂

The great thing about this site is that it is basically anonymous, and you can put as much to 2500 characters (lol) up at a time.

You sounds like you have a busy life I hope you get to do some fun things as well!

Once again welcome, and congratulations on taking a step forward! (yes, I am that cheesy)

Struggler · ‎25-06-2014

Hi H@ppyCamel

I like your username with the special character *@*. It’s very clever. Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for sharing.

Your first post is very succinct and articulate. Introducing yourself as the new poster is something that I forgot to do. I just jumped in the convo.

Working full time and studying at TAFE leaves you very little time for leisure. The TAFE study is part time I guess. May I ask what you’re studying?

Most of us here have no friends or not many friends but that’s ok. It's not a crime. You are now among friends here on BB. I guess you are feeling lonely and want to open up. Well this is a safe environment to vent or share your problems.

You already suspect you suffer from depression. To confirm this, why not take the 1 minute test here on the home page? Or copy and paste this title into the search box: Anxiety and depression checklist (K10). After that, we can talk some more or you might like to find a GP here on BB. How’s that for a start and let the conversation flow?

Struggler

Cunno · ‎25-06-2014

Hi there and welcome.

I've only been posting for about a week and I have to say that the BB community have been fantastic to me - you've come to the right place. Hope that you keep posting - there's already been a couple of great responses from Shellz and Struggler. Know that you are among friends here.

Regards, Cunno

HppyCamel · ‎25-06-2014

Thanks both of you for the welcome messages.

I wish it might be as simple as just letting a few things out here, but I don't think it will be for me, i will hopefully, eventually work up the courage to talk to a GP, main thing that worries me there is having the money to pay for a therapist (I don't have health insurance).

My studies are part time yes, a Diploma of Software Development, been at it 3 years now, hopefully not too much longer.

Struggler, I have taken those sorts of tests before, and I took this one again just to see, I usually find myself getting high scores, though of course they are no substitute for proper advice from a professional, I also wonder if I'm subconsciously giving the higher scoring answers, a sort of confirmation bias toward getting the results I think I'm looking for.

For the past few years, and perhaps more so in the past 12 months, I've been googling information on depression, watching videos/documentaries on you tube, reading various forum posts from people all over the internet.

I usually manage to find plenty of time for leisure, though it usually includes watching TV shows, Movies or playing video games at home, these things help me escape, if I'm Invited out by friends, I'll probably go maybe 50% of the time, depends on the occasion, and I'll usually feel pretty anxious about heading out.

I don't intend to keep rambling, and I hate to talk about myself as it makes me feel like I'm being kind of self-indulgent, but I have to mention that I think what has really triggered me to finally make a post here tonight, is I had a bit of an outrage, I can get angry at the smallest things sometimes if I’m feeling down or stressed, and tonight as I was driving home from TAFE (Re-Enrolment for next semester) I lost it and punched the windscreen of my car while driving, which cracked it, badly, so that is i guess what's really hanging over me tonight, is the worry about what I'm going to have to do about that, how I'm supposed to explain to other people what happened.

Anyway really worrying about that at the moment, but thanks for the warm welcomes.

Struggler · ‎26-06-2014

Hi H@ppyCamel

Punching the windscreen and cracked it! Wow, that is really a cry for help. You are right that you need to do something about it and fast. If you like, you can find a GP on this site. They are specially trained for people suffering from depression. Perhaps, for a start, try webchat here and slowly open up. All the info is on top of this screen.

H@ppyCamel, talking about yourself is not self indulgent. When we have problem we must talk it over with someone before it implodes on us. This is the perfect place and we all talk about ourselves. That is the purpose of this site, talking about ourselves. I am repeating myself here. Please talk to a health professional before something more serious happens. Looking forward to your next post and take care.

Strangler

geoff · ‎26-06-2014

dear H@ppyCamel, can I thank you for posting on this site, which is totally anonymous, we don't have any idea who you are, what you look like or anything about you, that's why this site is so good, because people do worry about talking face to face with even a GP, because they tend to avoid the main details, because they may feel embarrassed, whereas on here you, me or anyone can talk as freely as they want to, even though you know what I look like.

When you do the depression test it's not so much being bias in ticking the high points which indicate depression, because if you weren't depressed there would be no need to do this, and from what you have said there's no doubt that you do have this illness.

You don't have to tell us the whole story in one post, because as people reply back to you this will slowly unfold, and can I suggest is that you wait until most of the other responders wake up, as your post is only 3 hours and then 1 hour ago, so please give it a go, and by doing this this it will give you confidence for when you do manage to see your GP. Geoff.

HppyCamel · ‎26-06-2014

Thanks Cunno and Geoff for the replies.

I've managed to get through today fine, just waiting for someone to come and replace my windscreen now. Managed to dodge around telling the truth about how it happened when mentioning it to Mum, as it is kind of embarrassing that I would actually lash out that way.

I had a hard time sleeping during the night, I often wake in the middle of the night and worry, a lot of the time needlessly. Hopefully tonight will be better.

Although, I'm feeling alright now, in fact I just got some results for a couple of my classes this semester, and they're very good, so that's made me happy, and I've stopped worrying about them.

Thanks again all of you.