Needing help and support

[Timnfg30120]

Hey my name is Tim.

I have been struggling for some years with several items. Self love, expressing myself and opening up myself to other people, bottling up feelings because I don't want to burden others with my problems. On the outside I always try to be happy but some days I can't even get out of bed. I have been in a relationship that had been very unstable and ended up with me turning violent and being charged I now live with my brother his partner and kid in a two bedroom apartment. I also had leg surgery and cannot walk or drive for six weeks. I'm not allowed near my partner or my house and even before I met her I would go in and out of moods. I also am without a job currently, I understand it is my fault I feel ashamed in myself for not being big enough to address these issues within my self sooner. I want to better myself and get in control and be able to have healthy relationships going forward. Any help or advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated and I look forward to the day that I can help others make it to the other side. Thank you all.

[RainbowDreams]

Hey Tim.

From someone who has been in very similar circumstances (pretty much could have written this post myself), you've taken the first step by acknowledging the problem and how screwed up things got. Next step is about leaving that dodgy guy behind, which can be done. Go get a good team of professionals behind you, and make today the day you find out about the guy who is worth it. You're a decent guy, it is possible to be kind to him and exist in this world without being a horrible burden.

P.S - look into Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, a lot of the stuff you've described as issues it does help with

[geoff]

hi Tim, the first good point is that you have realised what you have done needs to be rectified, and not be the person you have been labelled with, and please I only mean this with great courtesy and hope I haven't upset you, that's not what I intend to do.
I hope you have a quick improvement with your leg, however that's only one problem, the second is being able to get the help you from a psychologist or psychiatrist whichever your doctor can suggest, where they refer you to psychologist but then handed over to a psychiatrist, but don't take this a being something to concern yourself, the idea is to make you better.
It's not going to be easy simply because there will be occasions where you feel calm and collected, compared to when you feel anxious and annoyed, these are the times you must learn to deal with.
They may suggest anger management counselling which would be good, but I don't think that a 6 week course would benefit you, I believe it needs to be ongoing at the moment, and I say this because it goes along the same principle of people going into rehab for drugs or alcohol, where all maybe fine while you're in there, but as soon as you stop then the old habits come back to annoy you.
Would be interested to know how you are going. Geoff.

[solabear]

hello Tim and welcome

Thank you for sharing your story...it takes courage to open up so well done for posting, you made the first step.

I'm just letting you know that I understand and I believe in you. We all make mistakes, especially when we have mental health issues. You made the first step by posting and please don'g beat yourself up. the next step is to forgive yourself, because feeling ashamed and guilty will only cause more frustration in you and prevents you to move on and change for the better.

Great reply from RainbowDreams and Geoff, we are here for you mate. Keep posting.

Hugs from Sola