Need assurance

[Rin777]

I just joined today because i thought i want to let few things out while seeking assurance about my issue.

I have a male acquaintance who has a wife and 1 year old daughter. In the beginning he was fine. He frequently sent me random articles and most of them are pretty general and harmless.

One day he sent me link about plastic surgery and said "u r single, why don't u try?" And he wanted to set me up with his friend who is also single. But this guy is not my type and definitely not a kind of guy you will introduce to your friends (I'm being very polite here). So I made a joke that I'd rather find a toyboy and work harder for my future. I blocked his fb message but still friend him on fb.

The next day he sent me a link to a make up artist with before after picture on my instagram

I reached out to my friend and she said stop being judgemental and overreacting. Hence, i unblocked his fb message. But things got worse, he sent me articles with inappropriate sexual content. I did not reply to any of these and kept a screenshot. Then i sent them to all my friends. I blocked him from fb message again.

After few weeks, he went to my whatsapp and sent me porn video. I politely said i did not appreciate his posts and told him to stop sending me things like this. He said "lol"

I have distributed the screenshots to all my friends, talked to my colleagues and boss. I also had reported this to fb, blocked him on every social media.

Everyone said i did the right thing but this one friend who i knew for 10 years refused to listen to me. She said that i should not bitch about her bff's husband and told me i am the most judgemental and overreacting person she knows. Well this guy never send her those posts and my friend has a business together with this man's wife. She only knew this couple for less than 2 years but defended them even without listening to my story. She claimed she is a neutral person. I thought being neutral means you listen to both sides of the stories.

I just feel like i don't know whether I'm judgemental or those posts are inappropriate. I want to do the right thing.

I feel helpless and annoyed because some people think those posts are funny even though i feel like I'm being bullied. I want to slap some conscience to both of him and my friend but i don't know how.

Thank you for listening though, much appreciated

[Rin777]

Thank you, Nick.

At the moment, I hope for the best. I am trying to have a chat with my former friend as she apologised for being overreacting when i told her the truth.

All I want is for her to tell the wife something like "your husband should be more careful, not everyone think his jokes are funny," to soften the blow.

However my friend and her husband labeled me as a judgemental and overreacting person when everything i want to do is to protect them and the wife from future consequences.

It is a bitter truth but i hope one day they will understand

[Rin777]

Thank you, Geoff

I have submitted a report to e-safety.gov.au but i did not put the guy's detail (should have done it i guess).

I have also reported this incident to facebook and facebook let me know that this person has been warned.

I heard from my mutual friend that this man used to treat women as commodity, that is why everything i want to do is only to raise an awareness for my friend and this man's wife that he might have done this to other women. It's just none of these women ever reported to authority.

[baet123]

Hey Rin,

That is good to hear that your friend apologised. It is always hard to apologise when we are wrong so the fact that your friend has done that is great and should provide you with some reassurance about your friendship.

Unfortunately, sometimes in life we must say things that people do not wish to hear. Life isn't easy unfortunately.

Keep us updated and have a great week.

All the best.

Nick.

[Rin777]

Thank you, Nick

Tbh, I was a bit upset because what she apologised about is "saying those hurtful things" not about what I went through and how her friend treated me. I thought what people with common sense does is saying sorry that i went through a hard time.

To me she sounds like she only like to cover helself .

However, i will still go to see her and bring my good friend with me for moral support. I'm very afraid that i might get too overwhelming or angry when i see her.

The past few months had been uneasy, everytime i thought about my friend and this guy, i feel like throwing up.

[baet123]

Hey Rin,

It will get better. Your rationale and outlook is exceptional considering everything you have been through.

Stay as positive as you can and keep us updated.

Have a great week Rin.

Nick.

[Rin777]

Thank you, Nick

Have a good week!! Really appreciate your posts 😊😊