Hello there fightback15,
Addiction is a big hurdle to get over , so well done for having yours under control. It's a huge step forward.
Amazing what comes up when we start work on our issues. There's a lot of mud being stirred, our own personal demons raise their ugly heads from the depths where they'd been hiding. Not a pretty sight to contemplate, so much anger, guilt, despair...No wonder we feel like crawling into a hole ! And wouldn't these dark things love us to do just that, so that they can continue to wreak havoc in our life ! Guilt for example is one of the worst forms of self harm. It serves no purpose, keeps one anchored in the past and the past has no future.This bubbling up to the surface of unwanted feelings and emotions is a normal -if painful- part of the process. Joining this forum will reassure you that you're not alone there.
Only by bringing our parasitic offenders into the open can we begin to understand their nature well enough to send them packing....eventually.
You do not say if you are still undergoing therapy. I hope you do as it doesn't need to be a lonely road. This journey leads through uncharted territory. Having a guide is a valuable asset, lest we become lost in the labyrinth of our emotions or waste precious resources exploring dead ends.
Thank you for your willingness to share some of your stories. Your contribution is greatly appreciated.
I wish you all the best.
