Moved to a new town and really alone

[Hanna3]

Hi, I'm in my early 60s and not well off, I recently made a big move to an inland town from the coast and am finding it cliquey and really hard to get to know anyone. I live alone with my dog who has separation anxiety so it is hard to leave him alone at home for long, which limits what I can do. I am really homesick for the easy-going lifestyle near the sea but thought a cooler climate would suit me better as I don't cope with heat well, but it's been really hot here and bad drought. I didn't expect such heat but everyone tells me it's got worse in the last couple of years and I don't have aircon, so am stuck inside the house alone a lot. I am in public housing so it's an old fibro place with no insulation.

I have friends who live a long way away but as soon as I mention to them I am feeling lonely they don't want to talk and I feel very let down, as one of them had a lot of family problems and I always let her talk a long time and tried to give her some support, now I need it there is none back. I've tried joining things like a choir and a book club but only met once before they finished for the Christmas/New Year and don't go back until February. Due to the dog's anxiety I try not to leave him alone during the day, we walk in the park a lot but you don't run into the same people often - this town is quite big, where I lived before was very small and you had a lot of acquaintances as you kept running into the same people.

Anyway I feel like I've made a huge mistake, I thought there would be more for me to do here than where I lived before but in fact it's worse, I have no family, and no friends to talk to. Hoping there is some support here as I feel lonely enough to curl up on the floor - I don't have the money to move back and anyway the wait for Housing would be years. Feel like I've made a huge mess of my life and my poor little dog seems depressed and lonely too. Thanks for any support.

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, so good to hear from you and also Birdy tonight! I haven't heard of The Bridge what is that series? Glad to come across someone else who likes Scandi Noir I am loving Borgen and The Killing - I must say the Welsh and Scots do it well too, have you watched Shetland? I loved it.

Katy I found a post of yours somewhere you sound like a lovely person who has had a tough time. Yes I think my friend was hungover - and I suspect she drinks like that because she's alone, we were good friends, she's been away in Sydney for two weeks staying with a friend having a great time, now she's back home and I'm not there and she's alone again and I think hence the drinking.

Storm is a lovely name for your dog, can you take her swimming in the sea or a creek or river where you are? I wish I could take Sam swimming but the river here is so low it's barely enough to get your toes wet. Terrible smoke here from the awful bushfires. Was trying to watch a DVD tonight but couldn't find anything good... am waiting for the library to get part 2 of Borgen!!!!

How are you, what are you doing for Christmas? I'll be spending it just with Sam. Bought him two new toys to play tug-o-war with, how silly I suppose but oh well. So nice to hear from you and Birdy and the others!

[Hanna3]

Hi Moonstruck I don't seem to have replied to your lovely post I am still learning my way around here so sorry for that... Yes the humidity where I was on the north coast was too much for me and summer went on for about seven months of the year - winter was perfect but only lasted about six weeks.. it was a spectacularly beautiful place and this town in drought is very sad to look at - when I drove here to look at the house to decide whether or not to come here it had been snowing so everything looked stunning, but now in summer I can see what a terrible state things are in here. I guess I am missing beautiful scenery - and I know this area used to be green and beautiful but the drought has ruined it all. Driving to the neighbouring town yesterday all the eucalypts were dead, even huge old ones. It was hard to find a tree alive.

We like the same movies and Jewel in the Crown on VHS gosh I'd almost forgotten the old VHS tapes! Yes Passage to India was wonderful too and Chocolat was lovely. Have you watched Fargo - I watched that the other night, how does Frances McDormand write such wonderful black humour???!!

Birdy I think it was you getting the old vinyls to pay on an old music player? Gosh my first record I ever owned was a vinyl Tea for the Tillerman - Cat Stevens. Crikey.

So great to hear from you guys tonight! Thanks all of you, you've made my evening!

[Hanna3]

Thanks quirkywords, yes that's Sam on the beach after a big play with his best furry mate - wet, sandy, exhausted and very happy! One good thing about a beach is that you can get cool in the hot weather!

I couldn't seem to get into the Good Karma Hospital unfortunately. All the good TV (not that there was much) has gone off now over Christmas/New Year and judging by the number of DVDs the library had held on reserve, heaps of other people are doing what I'm doing and stocking up for the silly season with something decent to watch!

I've always wanted to speak French and borrowed tapes to learn it during the hols and I'm sure it's the heat but I can't be bothered thinking too hard! I'm just longing for Autumn...

Hope everyone is OK over the next few days when it's going to be hot just about everywhere I think...

[Hanna3]

I meant everywhere you look, not everywhere you live - ooops typo!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna

Do you watch SBS on Demand at all? It has lots of great movies new and old, as well as TV series. There is a nordic noir section, and I've just had a look and The Bridge is available on there if you wanted to give it a go. I just finished watching Wisting on there. It wan't bad, but not as good as the others. I see you also enjoyed Fargo recently. Gosh I loved that! So much fun!

Sorry to hear that the drought has affected the area so much. That would be pretty depressing. Especially to see big trees dying. I live in a regional city in WA. There's been a big fire go through a neighbouring area, but where I am is safe and green. It's not even supposed to reach 30 today, but yesterday was quite warm. I took Storm swimming at the beach. Being an English staffy she doesn't handle the heat well, and she just loves swimming. I bet poor Sam misses the beach. He does look rather happy in your picture.

Also, I'm learning Polish. My family are originally from there so I decided to learn the language to pass the time. I use an app on my phone called Duolingo. It's really good if you're lazy, because you can just do 5 minutes a day and it's really user friendly. Yesterday I learnt to say "a dog is an animal" lol. I'm sure that will come in handy hahahahahah

Have a great day! Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, was feeling gloomy as the smoke here is at a dangerous level - just sat in the park with Sam but felt quite sick after being in so much smoke and now it's getting hot. Being stuck indoors alone all day is no fun! I haven't tried SBS on demand - I went to the library they had the DVD of The Bridge but only part two, someone must have part one out on loan... I'd never heard of it before you mentioned it so thank you!

I feel so bad for poor Sam he's stuck inside all day and seems depressed - we can't exercise, there is no beach and the cafes where we used to live were shaded but outdoors so we could get out for a cool drink/cuppa as they were almost all dog friendly but not here, they're all designed for cold weather or inside shopping centres. I am feeling really isolated as I've never been stuck indoors all day every day like this. Feel like I'll go nut soon.

I have to take a phone call about 2pm and am trying to think if I can at least get out for a coffee after that but I think it's too hot for Sam even in the shaded carpark and the cafes close up around 3pm. Oh dear I do sound gloomy don't I but it's soooo lonely.

Fargo was great how the writer can make a darkly humourous movie about a murder - who would think of having a heavily pregnant detective waddling around in the snow - and her husband was a scream!

Yes Sam looks so happy in that photo which makes me feel sad what I've done to him... we didn't expect this heat and smoke... I thought having a back yard would make him happy, we were in a tiny unit before, but the drought means it's full of burs and there's no shade so we can't use it much. Oh dear. I bought a couple of new toys for him for Christmas! He already has worked out they are something for him....

Hope you are feeling brighter than me today, so sorry for being down... it's lovely to hear from you thanks!

[Hanna3]

Polish is so hard! Many years ago I had a Polish boyfriend and he tried to teach me some but gosh it was difficult! I love languages, did German at school at loved it. Good luck with it - my boyfriend used to burst out laughing at my attempts to pronounce Polish words - they seemed to be all consonants and almost no vowels!!!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi again. I'm sorry you're feeling so down. No need for you to be sorry for it though. You being down is quite understandable. I'd try and solve some of what's bothering you, but you sound very resourceful and I have nothing to add beyond what you're doing. The only thing I can think of is meeting people through Sam. I joined a dog group on facebook and also a social dog walking group. I don't know if you have anything like that there?

It's hard living in social housing, it's very basic. I'm in social housing too. I'm lucky I've been here for years. I planted a tree out the back to solve the shade issue and it's now massive and gorgeous. Prior to that I used one of those pop up shade structures with a paddle pool underneath for the dog.

And yes, you're right about the Polish! Trying to remember the spelling of some of the words is ridiculous O_o

Here are my two current favourites though: smaczny ciasteczka (tasty cookie)

Thinking of you. Katy x

[monkey_magic]

Hi Hanna3,

Nice to meet you.

Your dog is lucky to have such a dedicated owner like yoursef. You really care for Sam.

Yes moving to a different area has its pros and cons. I once moved to Qld for a couple years and I've got another state in the pipeline but not sure if id be making the best decision leaving everything I know. My brother said his move almost broke him.

Living in an oven would be tough. Hopefully they have interest free loans where u r so you can slowly pay off a portable air cond. I'd call some charities and enquire. Or you could even call around some charities letting them know of your situation and you could possibly get a discount on one. They do get their stuff for free. It's worth a shot. It sounds as if u really need one. I'd hate to see you go through summer in those conditions.

Im 37, fem and live with my mum. Its been smokey where I am too meaning more time spent inside. It's horrible isn't it all this smoke. Sorry that it's making you sick. Ppl around the city are wearing masks.

Im a big tv buff. I usually just watch whats on the tele. Favs are bold and the beautiful, new recruit, swat.

Ive been hanging around the forums for a few years now. Welcome aboard.

MM

♡☆♡☆~~~

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, kind of you to post - I was feeling down today the smoke here is seriously bad and we hit 39 degrees going higher every day from now on... a combination of heat and smoke and drought isn't exactly a great start to living here! We've been indoors most of the day. Lots of people are wearing masks if they walk around now.

I did look for a dog walking group here but nothing like that seems to exist unfortunately. We run into pleasant people walking their dogs and then don't see them again for weeks. Lots of people here have big dogs which tend to frighten Sam, being little!

Yes public housing doesn't offer much - we don't get any window coverings here either which is quite an expense. Great idea for you to plant a tree - I've got a lovely one in the front but the back is bare and in a drought there's not much I can do about it (no watering of gardens or lawns here we are running very low on drinking water etc).

I was in a public housing flat in my coastal town but a woman alone was seen as a target by the men - many of whom were out of prison or ice addicts or alcoholic - I had a lot of trouble with things being thrown at my windows at night, men cat-calling when I went to my car, it was constant harassment (and I'm not young!) plus I tend to be pretty private and found everyone monitoring when I went in and out was getting to me. The transfer here gave me a house, albeit an old fibro one.

Made Sam a paddling pool from an under-bed storage box today and put a bit of water in it and lured him in with Schmakos and he seems cooler and has a grin on his face after having a bit of a paddle in the water!

I can't even imagine how you pronounce that Polish!!!!

I've forgotten who recommended the Scandinavian TV series The Bridge to me - if it wasn't you maybe it was Birdy... I found it today in the library!

Hope you are OK there in WA I hear there are fires over there today. Thanks for chatting Katy!