lost / blocked memory

[phill2]

Hi im 54 i dont know what to do , when i was in school i was bullied badly from primary school till i left .

i know i have missing memory's as i remember the moment of when i lost one memory of what i was upset about [upset isn't a strong enough word for it ] .

ever since then i haven't been able to stop thinking what happend, did i do something so horrible that i cant /dont want to remember or did something happen to me .

i get upset all the time about it and cannot let it go and its getting worse as i get older ,i have been trying to make it come back as if i new what it was maybe i could stop it from getting to me

i cannot talk to any one face to face as i dont trust any one and am only doing this as i feel like im going to have a brake down and need to stop it .

please i need some advice

if i could only remember maybe i can stop this.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there and welcome to the forums 🙂

I'm sorry you're having this experience now and I'm sorry you were bullied at school. It can certainly leave a lasting impression on us. The only advice I can offer would be to work with a professional psychologist or counsellor to to get to the root of the issue and how to "make peace" with it in some way to enable you to move beyond it. You've mentioned however that you are not comfortable talking to someone face to face, so I wonder if you would feel differently about accessing online or phone help instead? That way you could retain your anonymity if you would find that helpful? May I suggest a call to the Beyond Blue advice/support line so they can direct you to some help? The number is: 1300 22 4636

Sorry I can't help further, but happy to chat more if you would like to. My kind thoughts, Katy

[geoff]

Hello Phill, thanks for posting your comment.

I too am very sorry for being bullied and from experience, this may develop some anxiety, although I'm not qualified to say, however, with this 'intrusive thoughts' may develop, and I'm only mentioning this because that's what happened with me.

If you find it difficult to talk with someone, then write down on a sheet of paper what's happening and how you are thinking, it would be much easier to hand this over when you have an appointment with a doctor.

A diagnosis would help you understand and please ask any questions.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[hob2]

"..if i could only remember maybe i can stop this.."

meebee yur mind forgot to protect U?

what if remembering opens a PandoraBox?

got carefully.