Looking for some people to be accountable to and bounce idea off of both ways.....

[Halfpint]

Hello Everyone,

I wasn't sure where to start posting but I just wanted to open a line. I will read all the rules etc later but I'm not feeling up to it just now. Just now I wanted to voice how I am feeling today. I'm trying to get past a few things in my life right now that fall under various different categories. To look at me you wouldn't know I'm so often down. Often there is no trigger that I can work out. It's usually just that I sit on my own for a while and I start to think about bad things in my past. Relationship break-ups, bad choices, loss of friends, people taking advantage of me. My aim for coming on here is to be able to feel these feelings and finally get through them. I don't want to feel this way anymore and it feels like it has taken over my life. I keep making the same bad mistakes and I just need a forum really to bounce ideas off so that when things go bad I feel like there is someone I can connect to. For whatever reason I don't feel comfortable opening up to most of my friends right now. Hopefully I will eventually but I'm a bit closed off currently and every time I try to open up I feel that trust is abused, or I just don't fully manage to get there. I'm hoping to find an online community of people, where we can talk through issues openly. And in this I am hoping to be able to lay them to rest. I'm currently trying to quit smoking, drinking, start a new job and create a whole new set of friends in a new location. So I have quite a lot on my plate and it would be nice to have a backing support network for when things get a bit tough as I don't really have that where I am living currently. Please let me know if anyone else would be interested in this as well. I'm not fussed about male/female as long as they are caring/understanding people who don't mind talking about all issues, including relationship issues.

[MrBP]

Hi there. I’m new to these forums also. I’ve battled depression pretty much since early teenage years (I’m now 53 - you do the math!) like you perhaps my greatest issue is my inability to truly connect with people. I crave true connection. I work in a very superficial industry and that is my only connection with people. I have zero friends in my life as I can not tolerate meaningless friendships. I have fears of being judged and feels of abandonment hence I forge no new friendships. How do we find connection?

[Birdy77]

Hello Halfpint and welcome to you and to MrBP,

Good on both of you for starting threads (i just saw yours pop up too MrBP).

You have joined a beautiful bunch of people who truly show genuine care to each other, there is no judegment, just people muddling through together and supporting each other.

So you've come to the right place to air your thoughts, bounce ideas, whatever you like.

Halfpint, you have a lot on your plate at the moment ... i hope you will be gentle with yourself and not take on too much at once, or at least cut yourself some slack if you don't achieve all the goals you've set there.

We will be in your corner anyway, as you face all these challenges you have before you.

Glad you joined 😊

I look forward to hearing more from you when you feel like it.

🌻birdy

PS MrBP i will pop to your thrrad a bit later ... my oven timer just pinged so dinner awaits😊.

[Artemisia]

That's great you have recognised what things are difficult for you and the need to deal with it. You are attempting a lot of changes so be gentle with yourself. Welcome!

[geoff]

hi Halfpint and also MrBP, welcome to the forum, pleased you have joined us, and yes you will have made many friends by posting your first comment.

Many 'friends' who we once thought would be there for us disappear, don't want to talk to us and certainly aren't interested in helping us, so we feel alone, but in fact you aren't if you come onto BB, there are so many people who suffer from exactly the same type of mental illness.

Some are a bit afraid to begin and that's understandable, but the longer they stay on the site the more confidence they gain because people want to talk about depression, gone are the days when it was taboo and the more it is discussed the better knowledge we are for it.

Welcome once again. Geoff.

[Feeling_Lonely]

Hi Halfpint and welcome!

I resonate so much with what you have said... it feels like we are our own worst enemy at times with the constant questioning of ourselves and feeling like we are not good enough, especially when it comes to the loss of a relationship or friendship.

I too am trying to make 2018 about establishing a new circle of friends to combat the loneliness. In addition to working through my own mental illness and learning to like who I am as a person and hopefully... eventually... loving myself just as I am.

Maybe we can share some ideas for how to meet new people here? It’s hard when you crave a meaningful connection but people you meet are superficial. It’s also hard when anxiety prevents you from wanting to put yourself out there.

I joined a yoga studio this week in the hope of creating new friendships. If nothing else, it is supposed to be good for the body and mind.

I have looked into an app called meetup where you can meet with people who share similar hobbies. Things like bushwalking, or movies, or dinners, etc. I’m not feeling quite brave and confident enough to take that step, but I’m working towards it.

Have you identified any ways that you can meet new people where you are? It sounds like you have a lot on your plate indeed. Remember to be kind to yourself and I hope to hear from you soon 🙂

[Purple lady]

Hi

It would be a lot of help for me if I could get together with some beyond blue members but I don't know how to do this. Does anyone know? I need to have some meaning in my life. I feel I have wasted my life doing stupid and meaningless things. I want to be involved in life but don't know how. I see now that life has an end point and it is overwhelming scary to me. Each day feels like another wasted day

Purple

[Sophie_M]

Hi Purple lady, loneliness is a really crippling contributor to depression, and is something we often see discussed here on the forums.  To protect the safety and anonymity of members, we don't allow the forums to be used to facilitate offline meetups or share personal information.  You'll find lots of threads here where you can get ideas for making new connections in your offline life, though.

Here is a thread we suggest reading through:

Loneliness - what choices are there?

To return to the original topic, does anyone have some words of support or thoughts on what Halfpint has said at the top?  

[Michael2]

Hi Halfpint.

just want to say I completely feel your message. I too get like this, and certainly have a bunch of friends i’ve Known for a very long time/ most of my life, and still I find myself sometimes lonelier than ever, and socially debilitated at times. I love my friends like brothers, though when I am trying to get myself better I feel I will not be understood by them - fear of judgement - I’ve been thinking a lot about technology lately - how we have become so much more disconnected since when I was at school 13 years ago - it doesn’t feel right to pick up the phone and chat like it used to. I’m doing my best to get out more- have been going for walks and random things like going to a different shopping centre or service station as usual. My twenties were full of study and hard work - following a relationship meltdown that took a bad hold on me! Also some childhood issues, I have found a good psychologist - last year and with my parents coming along it helped because I was in the ashes I was smoking pot drinking and smoking like crazy on week nights just home alone and my thoughts were/ still are disordered as my psych has pointed out - though the biggest help I would have to say and perhaps recommend has been to write my thoughts down - try to see how I’m feeling - angry, sad, anxious, write that down, then connect it with a trauma- grief from the past. Writing this down, has given me so much instant relief. Hope this helps 👍

[Wraith]

Hey Halfpint

Anytime any place any reason you can always put it down here.

From my own experiences its easy to feel lost forgotten or undervalued,where ever and what ever the reason, People only see the outer skin and what they want to see,whats hidden, difficult to handle, bad,or wrong, in their opinion, gets neglected or dismissed. But here people observe and assess you for what you write down,what your feeling, you have the strength to write it down ,everyone of us is there to help with it.

So, get it off your chest by letting us all into your life, none of us judge you,but we will be there for you, every single time.