Introduction to just me, Ian

[Ian1975]

Hi, obviously from subject title my name is Ian, male and approx 43yo, although who keeps track after 40 hey. I live with my partner in an apartment. For all my life I have lived as the older brother, strong friend to people I know or just meet, workmate and been very highly successful in a management career. Four years ago though the tower all came down when I suffered what I now know as major depression and anxiety, something I knew others suffered from but not me, and since then I have been fighting ever since ... i) to even understand my mental illness and ii) how to move on. I remember being stuck overseas for a work trip not able to come home, I remember my 40th birthday party not even knowing I could show my face, I remember not being able to start my new dream job I had accepted, I remember my long term partner walking away my fault, I remember all the attempts at treatment afterwards, hurting friends or family who felt I wasn't trying hard enough also true, I remember feeling so lost I didn't have feelings anymore or like anything, the pain each morning in my heart my body my head, eventually so negative I didn't know whether I could keep going on ... but somehow Ia still here, still trying to understand, work out new path for me and help others with my experiences learnt so far ... I hope to be your friend and learn from you too, one minute one hour one day and month at a time 🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi Ian,

Welcome to the community here on the forum. Thanks for sharing your story with us. It sounds like there have been a few things happening for you recently. It can feel overwhelming at times to think of everything altogether.

I find I sometimes my mind gets stuck in that rut that tells me one thing has gone wrong so that means everything will go wrong. Part of my mind knows that is so not true, but the depressed side runs with those thoughts at times.

It sounds like you are trying to work out strategies and solutions so you can keep moving forward.

We can not change the past, we can learn new ways to move forward, to accept the mistakes of the past and learn from them.

Some days, it is a case of getting through one minute at a time. Small steps are sometimes needed. Once we gain greater strength and understanding we can move on.

Wishing you well in your journey.

Cheers from Dools

[coal]

hello Ian1975, I enjoyed and felt your post. I am so glad that you are a fighter. Your life sounds amazingly colourful. You wrote so well and packed in so many facts Seriously it blew my mind, what a story what a victory, your just amazing. Cant wait to read more of your threads. bye