Hi MarkJay
While I'm not yet retired like yourself, Grandy, Paul and Tony, as a 56yo gal I'm familiar with depression. I've come to see it as a deep dark well, where we don't necessarily know we're standing on the brink or even the fact that we may be a little of the way down into it. Some way down, we can definitely feel ourself in there while wondering 'How did I get in here and how the heck do I raise myself when it comes to getting out?'.
I've found being in there can relate to 3 factors (mental, physical and natural). Mentally, what we do tends to give us a sense of identity or sense of self. Touching on what Grandy mentioned, volunteering, it can be 'I am a volunteer. I am someone who helps others. I am someone who's a part of a community. I am valued'. It's about our 'I am'. It can also be about inner dialogue or what part of us can be chatting away in our head at times. If our inner critic won't shut up, it can go from 'I am' to 'You are'. This can sound like 'What the hell are you doing with your life? You are hopeless' and on it goes in deeply depressing ways. Tapping into a different part of us can make a difference. Tapping into the achiever in us sounds and feels different.
Paul touches on one of many physical contributors toward depression, sleep issues. While the unromantic take on who we are is 'A big fleshy bag of energy systems and chemical reactions', the question can become 'What's impacting my energy and chemistry to the point of it becoming depressing?'. Personally, I had no idea of the depressing impact of sleep apnea and serious B12 deficiency until I experienced the impact for myself. A sleep study and blood tests can't hurt at times. Then there's all the other chemistry which there can be a depressing lack of, including dopamine and things in life that tend to stimulate it. So, a lack of stimulants.
Naturally, I think we humans tend to often work best with a sense of structure. We can build our day and a sense of achievement through structure. Was saying to my 19yo son just the other day 'You can see one habit or one achievement after another in a linear fashion or you can see it as levels you build upon throughout the day. With the foundation being good sleep, how are you going to build upon that?'. What time is the best time for us to wake up at, as opposed to the time of morning that leads us to be dysfunctional throughout the day? On top of that, what is the best time and place to eat breakfast? What's the best time to have a shower? And on it goes until hitting level 12 or 15 or 20 by the end of the day. It may resemble a high rise. As I said to my son 'The structure was largely created for you when you were going to school'. It's the same with work, it's created for us to some degree by our employer. With my brother now being retired, his day is structured through gardening (including growing vegetables), home renovations, catching up with friends, saying 'Hi' to the people at the service station where he gets a coffee every morning and so on. He's also gone back to part time study at uni. At 60, part of his day is also structured based on the life of his 4yo son. He suffers terribly through a lack of structure and a lack of a sense of achievement. Another natural factor involves the ability to feel when there's something depressing going on. The question is 'What is it that I'm feeling the effects of?'. It's so hard to be able to feel depressing side effects and not know what they're the depressing side effects of. One thing I've come to learn to ask myself when I cycle into a depression is 'What is this depressing or potentially depressing challenge really about? What am I being challenged to do or discover?'. I've found it pays to have some good detectives in my life, who can help solve the mystery at times. Grandy, Paul and Tony are brilliant, inspiring, supportive and amazing detectives.
