I Don't know What to say or do anymore.

[Simply_Tired]

My partner and I have been together for 8yrs. And the last 2yrs have been so tough. After breaking up then getting back together then finding out I was pregnant with our second child then 3months later his dad passes away from a massive heart attack we took in his nan as his dad was her carerer So we had to move into a bigger house it's hard I won't lie as I'm home doing the caring and not him But that's just another story. 2months ago I found out that my partner hooked up with his own brothers girlfriend 3times! I was devastated! Still am I knew something was up but he made me out that I was just some paranoid person I can certainly tell u I'm not I had a gut feeling and I listen to it and searched and asked questions until I found out. Thats been difficult to deal with! But today I'm hear needing support and advice as my partner has an addiction to porn! and it's just breaking me down When I first meet him we had so much sex The intimacy was great! So connected! Didn't even know he watched porn until the sex started to die down over the years. And then having kids and busy lives blah The first time I caught him I was like why aren't u including me in this! I think we watched it together a few times then it stopped and he said he didn't watch porn anymore and then the arguments started when I caught him out again what the actual! U told me u weren't watching it anymore Why lie to me Anyway fast forward we hardly have sex anymore When we do its bloody great! Always is But then days and weeks go by it really seems to me that he is choosing to watch porn over having sex with me Any alone time he can get. Bathroom in his car on way home(he told me) oh and after a terrible day on the weekend I finally get kids to bed dealing with his nan as she keeps missplacing things finally go outside and there his watching porn to on tv setup outside i've had it All I'm simply trying to do is talk to him like a mature adult about these things how it's affecting me How it's getting in the way How its making me very insecure and lonely Ive even said..Why can't we do it together? Include me but he doesn't want to wtf! Like every other time, I have tried to talk to him about it all and he just tells me to shut up. His even called me a jealous cow and to keep it to myself. all I want is him and all he wants is the screen 😞 im a stressed mumma and I just feel so rejected

[Doolhof]

Hi Simply Tired,

I can certainly understand your frustrations on so many different levels. Welcome to the community here. It does seem like you have a few issues to deal with.

Is it possible to talk with your partner at a time when he is not engaged in his viewing activities, so you can discuss what is going on between the two of you and express your thoughts and feelings. When he becomes angry and disrespectful, how do you think he would react if you asked him to not talk to you that way?

Can you get any help anywhere with the assistance of caring for Nan? Would you be eligible for some respite care at all for her?

It may help to call Relationships Australia, they may have some suggestions for you.

Not sure what else to suggest.

Cheers from Dools