Hi people. New here.

[Mattyd1984]

/Hello if you are reading this.

My name is Matt from Melbourne. I'm 34 years old. Currently married with no kids.

I recently took the anxiety/depression test and it came back with a result i kind of feared which was a high level of anxiety. I've kinda knew that I had it but just didn't know what to do with it and also was very ignorant about it and tried to tough it out. I would say the last 4-5 years have been the toughest due to a job I was at the time where office politics came forced me out. I haven't truly recovered as it was the 2nd time it happen by that time. The last few years I have changed so many jobs due to my anxiety and trust issues.

I recently had a really bad mental breakdown on the way to work. The thought of suicide did cross my mind but the thought of my wife being sad and upset I knew I couldnt do that.

Hopefully by being on this forum, I can get some help/advice. I know I haven't explained too much as honestly I dont know what to write. I still have some stuff that I need to sort out hopefully with professional counselling.

Thank you for taking time out to read.

[baet123]

Hey Matty,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting mate. I would like to congratulate you on being so brave, resilient and strong (just to name a few). You possess amazing qualities and you should be extremely proud of yourself. Posting on forums and expressing your thoughts and feelings to people is an extremely difficult process and this is amazing!

Sorry to hear that you have had a rough time over the last few years. A lot of us and many males in particular have similar attitudes. The "She'll be right" attitude and the "I'll tough it out" can often be extremely detrimental to one's mental health well-being and overall quality of life. I am sorry that office politics forced you out of a job which it seems like you enjoyed or were content in your role/position. These things happen and are extremely common unfortunately. "Politics" are far to present in places besides in Parliament for my liking!

Suicidal thoughts are normal and I am glad that these thoughts were merely thoughts and that you weren't going to act out on these thoughts. I can tell you are an excellent husband and person that is extremely intelligent and caring.

You will find these forums as a loving, caring and non-judgemental platform where your opinions, thoughts and feelings are valued and taken seriously. I hope you find these forums beneficial! I know you will!

Feel free to post as much or as little as you want or even just read others posts. You should never feel as if you are obliged. Share as much or as little with us as you'd like!

You mention you are getting professional counselling? That is amazing. Most of us require professional assistance to get through these things and it does really seem as if you are extremely eager and dedicated to getting better and improving your quality of life and committed to recovery which is amazing! I always believe that once your emotions are becoming overwhelming and are detrimental to your quality of life, professional assistance is required. Please also consider seeing your GP and discussing your concerns with him/her and discussing ALL treatment options available. A combination of medication and therapy generally works best for many people so this is something you should discuss with your relevant health professionals.

I look forward to seeing you around Matty and have a great night and long weekend!

All the best,

Nick.