Hi I'm new

FeelingSad · ‎23-10-2019

Hi this is my first post I'm new here. I feel overwhelmingly sad and stressed out so. Today I feel so flat and overwhelmed with everything. I moved here for a better life but everything seems so hard. I feel sick when I think about what I should do. My husband is about as empathetic as a slate. I have a 4 year old and I'm always tired. We never have any money and he has lied about debts he said he paid off but it now turns out he hasn't. I have been trying to get a job with no luck. I've turned 40 this year and I can't understand why my friends or my husband didn't have a celebration for me. I know I shouldn't but I look on social media and see everyone looking happy and successful and I think shit is this really it for me. All those things I wanted to do and will never actually do.

geoff · ‎24-10-2019

Hello FeelSad, it's not easy posting your first thread as you're unsure of what type of reaction you'll get, but please feel as though all we want to do is help you.

In your situation, it's not good to have an unresponsive spouse, especially when the debts you were told had been paid off, haven't been, makes you question where the money has gone.

Looking at your social media may mean that you interrupt comments or extend what's been said in a negative way only making how you feel worse.

With what's been happening is it possible for you to book an appointment with your doctor because you'll need to gain some strength

geoff · ‎24-10-2019

Hi FeelSad, I'm sorry but somehow my comment went through before I could finish.

-----gain some strength to help you overcome the way you feeling.

I could suggest relationship counselling, however, your husband has to be honest so that a resolution can be made, especially where the money has gone.

I don't know why you didn't have a party for your 40 th, but can I wish you a Happy Birthday and would like to keep talking to you, only if you want to.

Take care.

Geoff.

MyLadyGirl · ‎24-10-2019

Hello FeelingSad,

Let me wish you a very Happy Happy Birthday to a wonderful person that looks beautiful in all aspect in her life. I wish you a very happy and wishing you all the best.

I am so sorry to hear about your spouse that is not taking responsibility for his action. Have you talked to him about what's happening. I know how it feels where only one income is being supported by the family with a child of 4 years old. It's not easy. Even with my partner it's hard as the expenses are high. Talk to him and see if you can help him safe a bit where you can pay your debts by reducing a bit of expenses at home (it's a suggestion).

Coming to another country is not easy. There is a phase that people said 'The grass is greener the other side' but it's not true. It's hard cause we have to start all over again to what position we left our country. People usually come another country with higher expectation but turn out to be likewise. I have been here and it's so difficult. No family, no friends and left my high professional job thinking i can be better. In the end started from the bottom but not giving up. May I asked if you are a PR or other visa. Maybe you can start being a volunteer and if you are good they will employ you. That's how I got my job. It was not easy as I got rejected so many times but never gave up.

Social Media is all acting. You should not believe what you see. Don't judge the social media because they life in fancy life. You might not know what they are suffering at the back. Depression, anxiety or ever problem with their family and the social media it's self. I am like you. I always think how I wish I can have money and live like that. Happy with no problem. But that not a life. Trust me. What you have is a wonderful and superb life. You just need to realise it. You have a wonderful 4 years child that you adore and a husband that tries to support your family. Not forgetting us (BB people) helping you with your situation. Just thankful for what you have as there are some people that does not have that and suffering. Like me, how much I am so wanting and desire for a child I don't have. It's hard to see people walking with child and not having one. But does no sown my spirit. I will try and one day I will have. That's me. So don't give up. Work things out with your spouse or get counselling. Hope that works.