Hi Everyone, Just joined and Frustrated

[Andorig]

Hi Everyone,

I'm joining out of sheer frustration with the system. I've been diagnosed with MDD for the past 5 years, I've been on three different medications and feel like I'm not getting the help I need. I'm onto my third GP, I've seen a Psychiatrist in the past and I'm just super frustrated with my position. I just want to get better and get back to my life. In 2010 I was studying at Uni while getting up at 2 am to work at a job 7 days a week to try and help support my family and all of my marks were in the 90's. I only managed one semester until other life issue's arised. Last year I became a single father to two teenage daughters and returned to study fulltime with no work and I just can't do it, my brain isn't there when I need it. Am I expecting too much? Have I not received the right advice? How do I move forward from here? I'm going back to my GP tomorrow and am looking at ringing the local hospitals adult mental health service, is this the right thing to do? I've lost 5 years of my life and I can't take it anymore, I can't do what I want to do for my future with my mind working as it is, I'm not supporting my daughters adequately, I can't sit down and work out my own goals let alone work towards them and I refuse to just exist. What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Who am I not speaking to that I should be? I just want to get better and move on with my life!

I'm sorry that all just flowed out as soon as I started typing. I'm in my mid 40's, white male, which I think sometimes really works against me or perhaps I'm just being paranoid (Haha add that to the list). I have been diagnosed with Dysthymia, MDD and Myalgic Encephalomyopathy (ME/CFS). My Counsellor has queried that I may have bipolar and I'm trying to work that out. I just feel like I'm not being taken seriously. I don't want government handouts I just want to be able to live again, but if that means I need government handouts then how do I get them when half of my conditions aren't recognised?

Thanks,

Andorig

[smallwolf]

Hi and welcome to beyond blue. You should find this a safe place and nobody will judge you.

Based on your story you sound quite intelligent with scores in the 90s. Well done on that. But things have changed between then and now. Looking after two teens can be "fun" (tongue in cheek) for 2 parents, let alone doing it by yourself. So with everything you are going through, you are doing an amazing job.

I have 2 teens and wife, work full time and study part time. However with things that happened recently, I had to drop one off the subjects for a number of reasons. But part of the reason was that I had to get better first. As my lecturer said "mental health is more important than Greek" (that was the subject I dropped.) And now I have to consider how to balance work, study and other things.

On the right advice... That is not something I can really answer. But I also think that this is something that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. And that means using distraction and coping tools. And when necessary antidepressants. Can I ask what advice you were given?

I don't think you are doing anything wrong either. The mind is complex. And some solutions won't work for everyone. So it comes to working out what works best for you. This is something that I have discussed with both my psychologist and psychiatrist. That relates to tools and medications.

Maybe, just maybe, you need to find the right balance for yourself regarding study, family etc. Maybe go part-time for a while and part-time work? What were you studying?

Also, what do you mean that half your conditions are not recognised?

Let me know how you are going?

Smallwolf

[PamelaR]

Hello Andorig

Nothing to be sorry for at all. You are going through a very difficult time and you want life to be the way it was. Sometimes that's so hard.

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums Andorig. I see you have already welcomed people yourself. How good is that. Much appreciated! You've asked a lot of questions -

Am I expecting too much? Have I not received the right advice? How do I move forward from here? I'm going back to my GP tomorrow and am looking at ringing the local hospitals adult mental health service, is this the right thing to do?

Not sure I can give you any definite answers. For me, I think part of the answer lays in - it's not going away, it's how it's managed. I liken, depression to a tide coming in almost drowning me and then gently pulls away allowing me to breathe again.

It's hard to know whether you have received the right advice. There are so many different ways to manage different mh. But I do think returning to your GP is a start, as well as visiting your local mental health service.

From my own experience, I know that studying can generate anxiety that leads to depression. For me, it was the continuous challenge and never believing i was good enough. Part of the work is to change the beliefs about myself.

What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Who am I not speaking to that I should be? I just want to get better and move on with my life!

Maybe you are to hard on yourself. Change those stories that keep yourself put down. Perhaps read and write more on these forums to get support.

Just remember life does get better, believe me. It's just sometimes you have to hover before flying. But fly again, you will. When you do, you'll wonder why you doubted yourself.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[IreneM]

Hi Andorig,

Welcome to the forum.

I, too, have been studying and have recently come back to this forum for support. But my studies have been ongoing and the college has been terrible so I have decided to quit study for a bit and I got a Centrelink referral to a Disability Employment Agency, partly due to the PTSD. So, I have been doing a bit of voluntary work and there's a possibility that I could end up with a F/T job in the coming months - not sure if it will be paid or not, they are a charity just like beyond blue. NB: haven't been interviewed yet. But the support from them has lifted my spirits.

I can also relate to you about GPs. I've had trouble in that department for the last year especially. Tips: 1. Try not to expect instant results from anti-depressants. 2. Use natural means alongside your medication. have a look at some of the posts under the category of Stress Management or similar. Different things work for everyone, and natural means (as well as drugs or medicines) take at least a month for the body to adjust to. (I'm fortunate to have a doctor who will not do more than one medication change at a time, less side-effects). 3. Don't have unrealistic expectations. 4. Make sure that your GP is willing to refer you to professional care, ie. Psychologist for mental therapy. 5. As far as finding ways to provide extra dollars, why not talk to your daughters about how they can work with you to support you all as a family and involve them. This way you can all support each other. One idea is delivering junk mail. But there are many ways like Mystery shopping or Surveys and they all add up over time. 6. Accept that the MDD as part of who you are. Read up on it and when things go wrong know that that is NORMAL for YOU! Your daughters will need to understand this too.

Based on your diagnosis of MDD, you should be entitled to be seeking work via a Disability Employment Agency. I am not sure if what you're studying is taking that into consideration. I have the option of a short course and at the end, I can get work instantly. I have been out of the workforce for almost two decades due to mental and medical reasons.

I also agree with SmallWolf on the suggestion of reducing your study load, if necessary; or even taking a semester break to focus on your health. I am currently doing that and am feeling more positive as long as I keep myself occupied mentally, along with gentle exercise and relaxation.

The brochure on Depression has good ideas on what works.

[Ellu]

Dear Andorig,I am so sorry for all you are going through. Under the circumstances I think the only way you can help yourself is to step back and give yourself a bit of space to recuperate. Do your children have any

aunts or uncles who could take them off your hands for a few days? Even school friends? A bit of a break would allow you to calm down, regain your confidence, and when you are in a calmer frame or mind sit down and make plans for everything which is happening in your life. Even though you are going through terrible times it helps to have a plan how to handle things.

Have you ever spoken to a psychologist? I speak from personal experience when I say that talking things over with someone who understands and cares makes a big difference to your life. There are ways of accessing psychologists cheaply or for free. Look up the following site "Low Cost or Free Mental Health Services"

A psychologist can help you think through your issues and come up with constructive advice. Take some time off if you need to and get your life back into balance. It is worth it in the end.