Hello

[Resillence]

Hi everyone,

I've just been chatting with one of the telephone counsellors who suggested I should join this online forum. Thank you for accepting me into your community, I hope to get to know you all and offer mutual support.

I'm not sure where to start posting, as I relate to everything. I'd probably like to start with "self care' as I'm not doing that great there, although I'm trying my best, or am I ? I've kinda lost faith in myself, hence I'm here.

Little about me: bipolar disorder, diagnosed very late in life, managed now, but anxiety and depression is a continual part of my life as my youngest son has been dealing with cancer the last 4 yrs. I'm a single mum with 4 teenagers, so all their ups and downs as well. I haven't had any extended family for back-up.

I must admit I have self-medicated with alcohol meantime. I'd like to learn how to re-integrate myself into 'normal society. It's like I've moved to a different planet where no-one speaks my language, and I don't even know if I want to come back, although I must.

As the kind young man on the telephone said, perhaps this would be the first place to start. Thanks for listening xx

[white knight]

Hi resilliance, welcome

As you browse the threads youll see a current one called "my bipolar life" by kaz one of our community champions.

Having 4 teens...i just cant comprehend that so well done.

Google the following

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: meditation, he helped me for 25 years, maharaji- beyondblue

Maharaji the perfect instrument

Maharaji sunset

Topic: depression, a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Glad you've joined us.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello Resillence, welcome to the site and it's always a pleasure to get new members to join us.
To try and cope with your son who has cancer must be so awful for you and I know this is something which would be so difficult to understand why, perhaps there is no answer, but this doesn't make it any easier for you to try and cope with.
I'm not too knowledgeable with BP, but when you start to drink to try and numb all these horrible feelings of being depressed along with anxiety, then I hope I can I help.
To self medicate with alcohol is an option which can so easily happen, and I'm certainly not blaming you, because that's exactly what I did.
It's always very difficult to find anyone who is willing to listen to what a depressed person has to say, although they at first, but will soon disappear off your radar, but this doesn't mean that we will, so I hope that you can trust us.
I realise that this maybe difficult to believe coming from a total stranger, but then sometimes this maybe the best to begin with.
As Tony has suggested to look up the BP by Kaz, there is also another site by her which is called 'battling the booze' where she and myself predominately reply to people who are having alcohol problems.
It would be great to hear back from you. Geoff. x

[Resillence]

Hi white knight,

Thank you for welcoming me ! I will look up the topics you kindly suggested and join Kazs' thread as soon as I finish typing this. My kids are an absolute blessing in my life, I'm a forever teenager myself. Being bipolar has it's upside in relating to their highs and lows for sure. (I just realized I mispelt my 'name', I meant to write 'resillience, not sure how to correct it). Hope to chat again soon

[Resillence]

Hi Geoff, thank you for welcoming me. You really hit the nail on the head when you mentioned how people disappear off the radar, as that is exactly what has happened in my life. Not everyone understands that depression is not something you can just 'snap out of', especially with a bipolar episode. I also found that my friends didn't cope very well with my sons' diagnosis, almost like they thought cancer was contagious. The last 4 yrs my closest friends have been other parents experiencing the same trauma. Sadly they have all lost their children and understandably have not kept in contact. I'm exhausted by the rollercoaster of grief and need to relearn how to look after myself better. The reassurance of finding a community of friends that will hang around is exactly what I need, thank you. The alcohol abuse is not new to me, I self-medicated my bipolar disorder for many years before I was finally diagnosed. I do know better, but have resorted to my 'old friend' again, so will definately be joining your thread.Thanks again