Dear Asphyxia
Welcome to the forum. It's good that you have found us and started a conversation.
Do you really hate people? Or is it more a feeling of discomfort being with several people and feeling overwhelmed? Whatever the reason I hope you will continue to post here and talk to us.
Are you depressed? I mean have you had a diagnosis of depression from a medical practitioner? Well it doesn't matter. What would you like to talk about? How about the way you feel in the company of others. I find a large crowd a bit hard to take. Do you feel like running away?
Depression is a mystery illness to many people and I suspect the doctors are not entirely certain either. It is something that can cloud your life to the extent you can 'see' no one properly. And it hurts in a way you have not experienced before. I am guessing from your words that you have lost interest in doing activities that a while ago you enjoyed.
I cannot tell you if you have a mental illness such as depression, because I am not a doctor. But I can understand your grief and pain because I have that also. Would you like to talk about how you feel and perhaps tell us a little more about yourself. Are you a student or parent, are there any family members, do you go to work? Of course you can choose what to say, that's fine.
Depression can make anyone feel like an outcast and it's hard to believe anyone loves us. As soon as anyone gets near, your defence mechanism snaps into place. It's a lonely place to be. Do you feel lonely and unwanted? This is the black dog talking to you, whispering into your brain that you are not worth anyone's attention. Well it's wrong. You are here and can post at any time.
Perhaps you can think about what you want and then post these thoughts. I am generally on the forum at least once a day, but often several times. I hope we can chat about anything that puzzles or scares you.
Mary
