Hello, I'm new

[Lenko]

Hello everyone,

I only joined today and find this process a little daunting so please bare with me.

I have had anxiety/depression since I was 15 (now 26) and thought I had got to a point where I had it all under control. I was incorrect. I live in Australia with my partner who doesn't understand my anxiety and i'm very far from my family and friends. I have lived in Australia for just over 2 years and my anxiety sometimes makes me feel so lonely and I get into my own head that I am completely alone. I left a large support network in the UK and have a small handful of friends here so it can play mind games with me sometimes. I often feel worthless and unloveable. I push those closest to me away and tend to struggle in silence, very unhealthy.

I question my relationship a fair bit and get confused as to whether I am unhappy or just feeling super anxious at the moment which is leading me to depression. It's a very confusing time. I am also stuck in a role that causes me a lot of stress as it is so negative day in, day out.

I am open to suggestions to help this feeling. I have tried meditation and I have been to the GP but they are VERY apprehensive to prescribe me anything so I am trying more natural therapy techniques.

I am hoping these forums will be great for me to learn from 🙂

[uncut_gems]

Hi Lenko,

Welcome to the forums! I'm confident that you'll find being here a helpful place to talk through some of what you're going through, give some help and advice to others, and generally find a sense of community.

So much of your post resonated with me, especially because I am about the same age (25), and have also recently moved here from abroad. The physical distance from family and friends makes the loneliness more intense, I feel, even (and maybe especially) during a time when physical proximity is most difficult. It's no surprise that a big move and being separated from your support network has led to you feeling lonely and struggling more with your anxiety.

I'm so glad to hear that you have seen a GP and recognize which behaviors are unhealthy, even if it's hard to change them. How are you going with your meditation and natural therapy techniques? I think it's great if you find that these work for you, but that you can also advocate more for yourself with your healthcare provider. GPs are expected to know a little about a lot, so it's common for them to hesitate to prescribe when it comes to specialties like mental health. Have you been able to see a counsellor, or a psychiatrist who might be more familiar with other treatment options?

Either way, would love to hear more about how you're going and I hope to see you around the forums!

Warmly,

Gems

[Lenko]

Hi Gems,

Thank you for your response, it is refreshing to read that you can resonate with my story.

The physical distance has definitely been a challenge at times and even made me think that I want to return home from time to time. However, I love my life here and have to be kind to myself in knowing building a life here is just going to take some time. Have you felt the same at times?

Meditation is going ok, I find it really hard. Sitting still quietly when there is so much noise going on in my mind can be a conflicting feeling but I want to keep trying. I'm also terrible at forming habits so I need to try and stick at it!

I do actually see a counsellor, I have seen her 3 times and have my 4th session with her next week - she is very helpful but I tend to feel better for a day and then return back to where I was. I read something on one of the forums about self gratification, maybe that can be my next challenge!

I hope you are well.

Lenko x

[uncut_gems]

Lenko,

I know exactly what you mean about meditation. I've tried many times but always get frustrated when I feel my inner monologue "winning," so I've never gotten to that point where it would be helpful. I really want to be disciplined enough to do it!

I'm glad that you're set up with a counsellor. That feeling of riding a high for a day or so after your appointment is very common, but will ease as you are able to integrate the skills/insights from therapy into other parts of your life.

Warmly,

Gems

[uncut_gems]

Oops I didn't respond to your question! Yes, I feel that exact way. I've been here about 7 months, and I kept having to remind myself that it would take time to find a group of friends and settle into a routine, and not to get too impatient with myself. I was actually starting to feel pretty settled before all this happened, and now I'm not really sure what to feel. In some ways it seems like it's accelerated me feeling like I have a life here, and in other ways reminds me of how far I am from home. But like you, I love my life here and I know that because I'm eager to get back to it!

Warmly,

Gems