Career is about to be ruined

[domn8]

I'm a partner in an advisory business.  I've struggled with depression and anxiety for around 10 years now, tried a couple of different medications, meditation, and counselling.  Currently using cannabis to help with insomnia, but no other medication or treatment.

My depression seems to be getting deeper, and I can hardly function.  During the day I can't focus well so not very productive.  I somehow manage to block the difficult tasks from my mind and they just don't get done, but thoughts of them often resurface during the night and I'm awake for hours rigid with panic.  Some of those difficult tasks have been pushed back for so long that they may result in legal action from clients, and even if they don't, they're likely to end my career when my partners find out, and this will have dreadful financial consequences that will really hurt my family.

I've been successful, or at least appeared that way, for 20+ years, and now 5 years from retirement I'm fearful of losing everything.  I don't feel like I can risk talking about it with my business partners.  I don't feel like I can talk about it with my wife either.  

I don't think my GP can help - they just prescribe antidepressants, but the ones I've tried so far haven't helped me address my work issues.  

Who should I talk to?  What should I do? 

[geoff]

Hello domn8, thanks for posting your comment.

Sometimes it takes quite a few tries of antidepressants (AD) to find the one that suits you, I know I tried several before the right one was found, but know this is not only tiring but it also plays around with your symptoms and as we age the AD's may need to be reviewed by your doctor.

Who you are able to speak with really depends on your situation and may be possible this week, but next week may not be suitable.

Ask your doctor about the 'mental health plan' which entitles you to 20 Medicare paid sessions to talk with a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but don't be afraid if the first one isn't what you are after, try someone else.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Mark Z.]

Hi domn8,

Thank you for sharing your story, I can't imagine how hard it is for you.

Regarding your career, when you say it's too stressed to handle difficult tasks, do you think there is a possibility to change to a less senior role with a easier tasks and less work load? Based on the trust you have built so many years with your business partners, is it possible to talk about it?

And it's very important that you have someone to talk to from your family and close friends. Do you want to share why you don't want to talk to your wife? Is there other close friends you can rely on? Emotional support is very important for you.

Regarding your treatment, when you feel current resources are not helpful, I would encourage you to actively explore other resources. You can simply ring Beyondblue hotline and chat with a professional, tell them your challenge and what you have tried. I believe they will provide helpful information and advice.

Hope everything will be better.

Mark