Cannot get along with people

[J_Hou]

I had a lot of bad experience, my parents don't love me, they tried to ask for money. I once broke up with a 3-year-boyfriend and is deeply betrayed. I got mistreated at work, I tried so hard to make friends but coworkers just being selfish, no one truly cares about me. Now I feel i lost the courage of talking to people and cannot get along with my hate to people, what can i do?

[Croix]

Dear J_Hou~

Welcome here to the Forum. I'm glad you came as it sounds like you have had a very tough times, with  parents you feel don't love you , a failed relationship and mistreated at work with no one coming to your  defense.

Having those sorts of experiences can tend to make one believe everyone is like that, even that you can get to dislike all people as a matter of habit, no matter who they are. While you might find it hard to accept sometimes experiences shapes our thoughts more than it ought

As an example I was a policeman and even after I retired I tended to view most people with suspicion. Actually I was going too far. I've found at least a few I trust completely -my partner being one of them

You have been hurt many times and it is not surprising that you do not feel like talking to people as you might just get hurt again. It's true you might, but being isolated and alone hurts too. Can you give some a chance? Not going overboard but simply being polite and taking notice of what they seem like. If you can  find ones who show kindness, even in little ways, they are probably the ones you might like to get to know better.

What do you think?

Croix

[Mark Z.]

Hi J_Hou,

I'm sorry to hear that you have've had many bad experiences, it must be frustrating.

I think the first thing you can do is to LOVE YOURSELF. It's important to be kind to yourself as best as you can including having a physically healthy and quality life routine.

And I do understand that you feel lost and anxious. Seeking professional help including seeing a therapist or a counselor should be helpful for you to have a better understanding about the root cause of your feelings, and develop coping strategies. Have you thought about this or tried?

Hope everything will be better.

Mark 

[geoff]

Hello J_Hou, it must be awful to believe your parents don't love you, because they are responsible and need to give you all the support you need.

To be betrayed in a relationship would not give you much confidence at all, which would mean this would be transferred into thinking other people are always picking on you and 'friends' at work can spread any rumours amongst their workmates, so until you find an honest friend, then the less you tell them the better.

To establish your confidence then try and be involved in the hobbies you like, and in doing this then you will meet other people who want to share the same ideas.

Geoff.

Life Member.