An overwhelming introduction to anxiety!

[littlegreen]

Hi Beyond Blue Community,

I joined the forum because I'm finding that my journey with anxiety is making me feel quite isolated. I suffered my first major panic attack earlier this year and my symptoms of anxiety have escalated extremely over the past two months. I have sought medical advice and am enrolled in online counselling, so I'm definitely seeking support. I have been diagnosed with asthma brought on by allergies, so there are some physical aspects to my symptoms. However, my anxiety about my asthma is making the whole thing so much worse. For me, it's definitely a cycle.

My symptoms of anxiety are mainly breathlessness and chest tightness. Sometimes it feels like somebody is sitting on my chest. It feels absolutely horrible which causes more anxiety, which leads to feeling light headed, tingling in my feet and just like I'm completely losing control. I can't help but think my life is in danger when these symptoms come on.

I have lots of support around me, however, I feel like I might be becoming a burden on my boyfriend because of my anxiety. He is so loving and supportive and wants to do anything to help. I have spoken to him about this and he has reassured me so many times that I'm not, but it just feels like no one person should be trying to help me as much as he does. This obviously makes me feel more anxious, and the cycle continues.

As well as this, it just feels like I'm completely crazy for feeling like I do when my symptoms come on. I would love to hear from others going through similar things, and strategies you've used in the long term to make yourself feel better. I'm really trying to use controlled breathing and yoga, but I can't snap myself out of anxious thoughts.

Thank you so much! Even writing this all down feels like it's helping.

[Croix]

Dear Littlegreen~

Welcome here, where you can feel less isolated as there are many who have similar problems and would like to help.

I guess there are three things you are talking about. The first is straight physical, your asthma. You probably know better than me about rescue and controller inhalers, medications and living a lifestyle that helps. The downside of course is the symptoms of an attack can be similar to a panic attack, and anxiety feeds on both. So keeping asthma under control as best you can is a start.

With your boyfriend - how great! Having someone to support you is a real blessing. Not wanting to burden him is a normal caring response, however if you need help you need help. In the long term his help will make your anxiety easier and that will benefit both of you. He won't be able to calm all your fears with words, however I've found knowing my partner is there and understands what is going on is a real help - even if she does not say anything at the time.

Panic attacks are truly horrible - but not life threatening. It took me a fair while plus umpteen tests before I was convinced they were not some other thing like a heart attack, and that I would survive. Now hanging on to that fact (that I will come out the other side) is a big thing for me.

The breathing which you are now attempting is important, (7-4-8 or similar) as it gives you something to do, restores oxygen balance (no tingling) and actually has a calming effect of its own. I try not to give in to it and if I'm doing a task such as tidying the house I keep on trying (though I might not get much done) -be stubborn. Being with someone else helps too.

Your overall lifestyle, avoiding things that trigger episodes, having exercise, nutrition and sleep all help reduce the basic stress level which reduces attack frequency. You mentioned your symptoms have been worse recently. Has there been a change or problem in the last few months?

Distraction and self reward are important too - on a regular basis. Something to take your mind away from everyday life, and something to look forward to each day. Being with people you are comfortable with is good too.

I hope things settle down, lapse talk as often as you would like

Croix

[Croix]

P.S. Forgot to say - I find the free smartphone app Smiling Mind is excellent at breaking an anxious cycle, it does take practice though.
-C

[littlegreen]

Hi Croix,

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful and detailed response! It's so comforting to know that there are others having similar experiences who are willing to share their journey, struggles and all. I will definitely take all of that on board and will continue to chat through forums as I can see already how much valuable information is here to help.

I'm certainly trying to make exercise a bigger part of my life - I'm playing around with different things that I might enjoy and stick to. I've never been big in to fitness but I know how important it is for mental health as well as obvious physical benefits.

There have been a number of things that I think have triggered my anxiety in the last few months. Over a period of a few weeks, I witnessed a really terrible car crash on my way home from work one day, I saw my boyfriend have a really bad fall which caused him to move back to his parents' house for recovery (which changed our living situation unexpectedly, but he will make a full recovery thankfully!) and found out a friend of mine from uni (who is only 25, just like me) was diagnosed with cancer. All of these things combined have made me really think about how quickly things can happen and change, and I think I've extended this to thinking about sickness and death a lot more than I ever have. I know this is all part of growing up and I will hopefully be able to cope with similar situations with a bit more age and wisdom. For now, it's been a really overwhelming time which has led to feeling very anxious.

Again, thank you so much for your help and advice - from a newbie to all of this I can't tell you how much it means!

- LG

[Croix]

Dear LG~

I'm glad it helped. With exercise it does not have to be world class. I walk, others swim and so on. My walking gets me out of the house or wherever I am that has the associations of the current anxiety. It gives me opportunities to see new sights, greet people and other things that make for distraction.

Which reminds me the distractions and things to look forward to are not being selfish or self-indulgent. They are needed to balance things, make your life less stressful and livable.

I guess when you see three misfortunes in a row life can seem more fragile however it is not a done deal, your BF is on the way back, your friend may well recover. There are so many people you know who life full long lives.

Things that can quickly change include anxiety -for the better. It is not all downs. While it is quite understandable you have this reaction at the moment it will pass. You will deal with panic attacks better until you can get though them OK, then hopefully they will fade. Mine are infrequent and not nearly as strong now. Would you believe I tried to make a joke of it to a colleague during a recent one - I would not have believed it physically or mentally possible in the past.

Croix