A first step??

[Jvet]

I am pretty sure I have had less than average mental health since as long as I can remember (so about year 2!). At 31yrs i am beginning to see that ‘normal’ for me is not average for everyone else.

Of course I am also relatively sure that my parents are also do not have great mental health- which normalised my own struggles.

I have spoken to my GP a few times but they admit that they are not great in this area.

So now I know I want to make the first step but find myself struggling to do it. I am overwhelmed by a horrible feeling in my chest a LOT. Well no I had made a step and it flopped and so now the second step seems even more impossible.

I used to be able to manage. To just get on with life and be functional. Now that ability keeps being eaten away. And as I am posting this steam of consciousness I realise that I have tried to get help more than once and haven’t been able to advocate for myself to get past the initial barriers.

how when you are scared of people and what people think and scared of not being believed do you find someone to talk to? even reaching out on this is well beyond my comfort zone right now.

I want to be able to do the things I did when I was coping. I want to be the confident person I fake being when I interact with everyone.

i also would really like to know what is not quite right in my head. Does having a diagnosis help??

[geoff]

Hello Jvet, good morning and it's good to read your comment.

Can I welcome you to the forums.

Anxiety and depression, and I'm not saying that you are suffering from this at all, as we are unable to diagnose anyone, a doctor has to do this or a psych, but from our own vast experience and the struggle we have had to endure ourselves over such a long period, we may know whether someone may need medical help, simply because they exhibit what we have had to try and cope with, but as I say we are not qualified.

Sometimes doctors we visit may not know how to treat someone who is suffering from mental illness, so it's important that we go and see someone who does know, and if you click on 'Get Support' at the top of this page, scroll down until you see 'Find a professional'.

These doctors are aligned to Beyond Blue and specialise in MI.

Try and write down on a piece of paper what you are troubled about, keep adding to it and try not to cross off anything you have already written down, then you can hand this over to your doctor.

You can also ring Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.

We are here with you so I hope you can get back to us whenever you want to.

Geoff,

[Jackson85]

Hi Jvet,

Thanks for posting, you have asked some really great questions!

Firstly, I agree with Geoff and yourself in that GPs aren't really the right people to diagnose (or even work through) mental health issues, it would be great to try to get a referral to see a psychologist. Your GP should be able to help set up a mental health care plan, which would mean you get a certain number of sessions with pretty big rebates. You mentioned that reaching out on this forum is out of your comfort zone, so by all means take your time, and only take the next step when you're ready 🙂

You mentioned you're not sure how to talk to people because they can be scary, and that they may not believe what you say, well I certainly believe you, and even if you're thinking lots of random things which you didn't put in your post, I dare say I'd believe all of that too. Our minds are super complicated, and they come up with whatever they want, so don't be afraid or ashamed of what your mind concocts, we all have pretty weird stuff going on in there!

If you're scared that when you open up, you won't be believed, then a psychologist (or counsellor) would be a good place to start. I'm on my way to becoming a psychologist, and the only people who brave the 6 year degree are those who want to care for and listen to EVERYONE, and we certainly believe that ANYTHING can go on in peoples' heads, and that your thoughts are not your fault, and that they don't define you.

You've been so brave reaching out here on the forum, and you should feel proud of that step. When you are feeling up to it, and if you think it's right for you, the next step could be chatting to someone in person, or maybe calling one of the telephone helplines offered by Beyond Blue or Lifeline. That could be a softer start perhaps.

Otherwise, feel free to keep chatting on here with me 🙂

Jackson85

[Jvet]

Thank you both.

It is is such a relief that I wasn’t invisible.

I have been writing my list- so far 3000 words on just one event! It’s been helpful as they are all things I wish I could say to Someone who has made me doubt myself personally as well as professionally. i know that telling this person how much they have impacted me would fall on deaf ears. I am thinking that if I can book in to talk to someone they might be able to help me to decide if I cut all ties and loose opportunities or if I can work through it.

I honestly can’t decide because my desire for the result of putting up with them might mean longer term improvements in my life. But I can probably get these improvements if I am patient.

I have sent an email off to a psychiatrist and trying to find a psychologist that has an email address! I do have referrals from both from my GP- they did at least do that for me, however perhaps a new GP that can direct me toward someone specific would be better? Since that has been what has held me up.

I have had these referrals in the past and didn’t act on them because I couldn’t pick up the phone. Too many choices and I just couldn’t decide.

Thank you both for seeing me. It has

made it a little more bareable.

[Jackson85]

Hi Jvet,

Excellent, I'm glad to hear you are thinking about making moves to progress through this. Try not to think too much about direction in terms of confronting this person or not, as sometimes making these decisions when we're feeling low isn't the best time. Conversations with a therapist (either psychologist or psychiatrist, whichever you choose) might help with the anxiety and stress you're feeling at the moment, and then you can make an action plan for how you want to resolve the issue down the track.

Considering that you're nervous to reach out to the therapists, as you mentioned emailing rather than calling, I'd encourage you to go with someone who gives you a good caring vibe. Research tends to show that regardless of treatment type, CBT, mindfulness, all kinds of stuff (even Freud's psychoanalysis for goodness' sake!), the biggest factor in you making progress and feeling better is dependent on how you feel about your therapist and how strong your bond is. So if you don't get a good vibe, or you don't really connect with them, don't feel you need to keep them because they're "experts" or anything, because really it's the human connection we crave. Try to find someone (and it shouldn't be hard, as psychs became psychs because they care) who is warm and soft, so you might feel less scared or vulnerable in opening up to them.

If you would like to talk about your issues further, or need any more encouragement, I'll be here 🙂

Jackson85