Should I nip this in the bud - or is it OK?

[Moonstruck]

I have posted before about my GP saying No to prescribing daytime meds for anxiety.(which can spiral into panic attacks) She does give me sleepers which I make last a long time and don't abuse. ( I don't want anti depressants as I am not depressed! I have also seen the horrible effects of trying to go off them....and going through bad times trying to find "the right one".....No way will I take anti depressants!!! )

I used to use alcohol for the anxiety over many years but left me with severe health problems which means I cannot drink...have been off grog for over 3 years. I have begun "dipping into" my sleeper meds....just biting off a sliver really (doesn't that sound desperate) on some days.....when I feel really stressed, shaky or consumed with fear....e.g. during the afternoon, early evening etc....(then usually take my usual amt when ready for sleep later).

My GP is not aware I have begun doing this. It's a better alternative than alcohol which means a death sentence if I start again..

my question is this: I find myself now feeling emotional and mental relief that the meds are there...during the day..if I need them....and tending to reach for a tiny piece of one on more frequent days......am I headed for trouble here? I feel frustrated that GPs don't take into account, that grog is so readily available to me....i could easily go back to having a bottle or cask in the cupboard or fridge and slowly kill myself.....but a daytime med is still denied me.

Is it OK if I continue to take my "tiny sliver" on really bad days......It really helps...it helps me function capably without falling apart and collapsing with panic on my bedroom floor! Which is the greater evil? Would welcome your thoughts.....thanks....Moonstruck

[JessF]

Hello Moonstruck, I really think you should talk to your GP about this. If you're not taking your medication as prescribed, then I'm sorry to say it, but this is a form of abuse. Swapping one unhealthy coping mechanism (excessive drinking) for another (addictive prescription medications) is not a solution.

If you read up about the different treatments here on this site you'll find that some antidepressants do actually work for anxiety as well. But this is medical advice, which I and no one here is qualified to give. If you can't be honest with your GP about what's going on for you, and you feel that your GP is not listening to your concerns, then you need to find a new GP.

[PatT]

Hi Moonstruck,

Anti-depressants are not strictly for depression. They're for anxiety as well. I have terrible anxiety and occasional bouts of depression and from my own experience, my medication does more to control my anxiety than depression. Prescription meds are a dangerous path to travel (speaking from years of personal addiction to painkillers and anxiety meds) and I've heard the withdrawals to be worse than heroin.

If you find that you and your GP really aren't getting along then I'd suggest looking for another one, but upping your dose of anxiety-meds is not a good solution. Seriously, anti-depressants helped me overcome my anxiety in a massive way. It's just the name that lends the suggestion they're strictly for depression.

[Guest_5218]

Hi Moon,

No easy solution to this is there? I think it is probably fair to say that what you are now doing is the lesser of two evils for you. Because if you did not do this with the sleeping meds, then you would possibly turn to alcohol. Which as you state, for you, would be a death sentence. Scarey stuff indeed.

I do think you need to be up-front about what you are doing to your GP. Explain to her what you are going through, and the extent of what it is that is driving you to do what you're doing.

If I recall correctly, you have an appointment with a psychologist on Monday? I would discuss this issue with him/her and see what they would suggest as well. Hopefully with your psych's assistance you may be able to find other ways to counteract the worst of the anxiety symptoms. And you may then no longer feel the need to cut into your sleeping meds rations any more during the day.

Please dont cancel this next appointment like you did previously! (-: It is for these exact anxiety symptoms that you need to see them. And be totally upfront and honest when you discuss your symptoms, and the extent of your symptoms, with them. Even if you are feeling okay by Monday when you see them, dont forget the bad times that you have endured along the way. Without help, they will come back. No doubt your GP is reluctant to give you anything for the time being because of your upcoming psych appointment. After assessment by your psych, your GP may adjust her thinking. Lets wait and see ......... Good luck. (-:

I hope today is a better day for you Moon. Hugs.

Sherie xx

[blondguy]

Hi Moon

Always good to see you. I had a psychiatrist who told me in the late 80's to keep some 'calmatives' in my wallet 'just incase' I needed them prior to a severe anxiety attack. Just having a small sleeve of these in pocket were just like using a crutch..The anxiety did reduce significantly by just knowing they were there.

Moon....I have been using AD's for severe anxiety since 1997. For me they were a godsend and helped me use coping mechanisms more effectively with greater success. Please re-visit this with your doc. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I understand that you may feel awkward/uncomfortable with your or a GP...Your health will improve a great deal if you open up with your doc....or find other one. They cant read your mind and for recovery to occur you have be really upfront with them...They are there to heal you..not judge you 🙂

Kind Thoughts and (Hugs) for you Moon

Paul

[Moonstruck]

BlondGuy & Sherie....thanks for that....Paul, your first paragraph sums up exactly what I want to be able to do- I feel better knowing they are there, surely this can't hurt...as Sherie said, for me it's better than "knowing there's grog in the fridge".....it's a shame I can't have some "daytime calmatives" for this purpose, apart from cutting into my sleeping meds....

If I tell the psych Monday (no I won't cancel Sherie...would you believe she actually rang a while ago confirming our appt....at that very time I was in the middle of writing down all I wanted her to know...all the horrible bits and told her this....she said of course to keep doing that and bring it with me.)...I was toying with the idea of telling her about dipping into the sleepers...but won't she just be obliged to inform my GP.....who may stop prescribing the sleepers altogether?......Ah the tangled web we weave...although it seems quite simple to me.

To explain to the other kind folk who replied....I was prescribed anti-deps...some years back after a traumatic event...they were ghastly..made me MUCH worse...I kept a journal the first week of how I was feeling day by day.....dreadful experience! The cure was much worse than the disease,,,if you get my drift.

My daughter in law also became hooked on them and had terrible times going thru withdrawal upon trying to give up....I can't go down that road, I just can't. I don't want to change GPs as this one has been marvellous dealing with my medical, physical conditions, i.e. near death times through alcohol, knows my history in this regard thoroughly - no complaints there - at least I am alive now, and off the grog.

I don't want to have to explain all this to a new GP...she's knows my condition and monitors everything as she should, including records, referrals, and interaction with my specialist in our capital city.

As Sherie said "no easy solution"...but I'll get there - I hope. Perhaps one day they'll legalise pot..ha ha!

[blondguy]

Hey Moon

Thanks for writing back 🙂

To answer you original question....I would rather be on meds than alcohol any day...addictive or not.

You mentioned that you were on the AD's for a week...Good on you for trying but you need longer than that for them to kick in. Mine were also making me feel weird too but after a couple of weeks a huge amount of my anxiety disappeared...

Being 'hooked' on something sounds bad as in 'stigma' but if they make you well enough to improve your health isnt that a bonus?

Sometimes we have to feel worse so we can get better.....a lot like the dentist....yukk..yes it hurts and the feelings are awful but the end result is worth it....

Just food for thought Moon

Kind Thoughts for You

Paulx

[Moonstruck]

Paul...you've been such a support and help to me...thank you.....

I think we are on the same wavelength about the stigma of being "dependant" on something artificial.....I don't care if the calming anxiety meds/sleepers can make me dependant on them or not........they help so Enormously...with no side effects, no drowsiness, no confusion, .....that I don't give a damn if they can be "addictive" as the GPs warn.........my answer..."So Is Grog"........

But no,I won't go down the road of anti deps again - they are not for me Paul....they seem to create too massive a shift in my brain....whereas the "calmatives" (as you call them so appropriately) simply do just that.....settle the anxiety a little.....because I only take a little.......and there's no "taking time to kick in" or "finding the right one"...that is the terrifying part for me......but I do realise Anti Ds are of incredible help to so many, I am not criticising those who take them...I'm really not....whatever works with the person individually is all that matters I reckon.

Have a good weekend BlondGuy (by the way, I am actually a BlondGal...didn't know that didja?)

if you have anything exciting planned to tell us about , or cooking up a storm for us all...bring it into the Cafe later and I'll keep a lookout for you there....we could have a Gin & Tonic together!!! Ha ha ha....God I'm so funny, I break myself up!!

[Dwwmills]

Hi Moonstruck.



I have to agree with JessF on this one. Swapping one
unhealthy coping mechanism with another, given your past history with alcohol,
is an extremely dangerous path to go down. Given that you haven’t told your GP
this you must also have some doubts yourself. Trying to rationalise it by
saying that if I don’t take sleeping tablets I may as well try alcohol again is
just flawed thinking. People get addicted to substances by saying to themselves,
I’ll only take a little bit, I have control over it but in the long run a
little bit leads to a little bit more and a little bit more and then all of a
sudden it’s out of control.



If you find yourself in the position that you need to sneak
sleeping tablets to get you through the day it is time to go and seek help. At
the moment you only have an anxiety problem not an anxiety and a substance
abuse problem. Please, please go and seek professional help and don’t let your
anxiety lead you down a path that you may regret.



Nice to hear from you again by the way.



Dean

[blondguy]

Hey Moon (blondgal)

I hope you went well at your psych today and I also hope that you mentioned that you are having difficulty managing your anxiety.

I know Dean and JessF are correct with 'flawed thinking' and even you know it too. Just my humble opinion Moon, you need some medication for use during the day...(prescribed meds) to take the edge of what seems to be severe free floating anxiety and some bad lows too. I have had the same in 1997.

I know you have ruled out AD's because you had one week of symptoms you dont like and your daughter in law being hooked on them. Pain killers for car crash patients are also addictive...I just dont think its relevant if the AD's are sometimes addictive if someone has chronic anxiety.

Sometimes we have to feel worse before we get better.

Let us know how you went at the doc's!

I hope you feel a bit better

Paul