School holiday + Christmas time = very stressful

[timmy123]

Hello,

I registered this forum yesterday and tried to connect with people who understand mental challenges that moms face....

i am a mother of 2x little primary school kids. With the school holiday starting this week, I feel that my depression is also starting to knock my door and visit me! This is because my kids would need to have some play dates with her classmates! I am frightened to meet other mums / dads. Even thought most of the time I just drop them off and go I still have to come in and chat a bit. This worries me so much. I worry even the night before the dates !

Christmas is also a very stressful time for me. one of the reasons is that i am scared of meeting a group of people! Social anxiety is dragging me so much...

can someone plese give me some tips how to overcome this feeling or make it less shocking!? Thanks

timmy

So I do not know if I should seek professional advice about depression.

[IsaJett]

Hi Timmy ..welcome to this post ...and omg Christmas is just so stressful ..I can relate .

i think in regards to meeting the new parents ...it can be daunting ...cos u don’t really know them and yeah u want to just drop kids at door ..haha I done it before too .

But the way I think u should view it this way ....is that everyone’s in the same boat ...they probably anxious meeting you ...cos they too never met you ,

I would have a line or two in readiness to break the ice ,,oh thanks so much for having my girls over ,,.i can have a little breather and make sure I return the favour for you next time ,

like literally rehearse the lines ...

your kids are so lovely etc etc ...and that takes the focus off you cos now it’s on their kids u r talking about. And they now have to think of something to say in return ...while u breathe through it ...lol ..it comes with practice before u know it ,..u r a pro ..haha

i hope this helps ...I find that usually when u talk about their kids...how lovely they are ...they generally will lead the conversation and you just let them take the lead .

Hope this helps you

as for the days leading up ...try this meditation video guy on YouTube

Jason Stephenson anxiety meditation ..he’s got lots and he has saved me a lot of times ...helps me get to sleep and centred.

stay well Timmy 🙂

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Timmy 123

Welcome to the beyondblue forum! Its great to see you reach out and post on here as you are not alone in your thinking. Many agree with you that the holidays are not the most relaxing time of year and it sounds like you are required to step out of your routine and do some activities that don't make you feel comfortable.

Social anxiety and worried thinking can really play havoc on important things like sleep and your ability to perform tasks that involve interacting with people. There are definitely strategies that you can learn to help with this worry. You have already taken a great first step by reaching out on the forum. There is a specific thread on anxiety that will find you are not alone in your experience. There are a few steps you can take to start your journey towards being the best you can be such as getting some treatment for your worry. I will offer you a few suggestions and am sure you will get many more on the forum.

There is a program called NewAccess that has been developed by beyondblue that focuses on treatment for worry and low mood using a therapy called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) which is a evidenced based, practical way to understand why we have worried thinking and practical strategies on to manage it. It is free but is only available in some parts of Australia. You don't need a GP referral to join and you can have a look to see if it runs near you by looking on this page https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/newaccess

Another program that can be done online is called Mindspot which has a lot of courses to help people learn strategies to manage worry and low mood. It is free and done online and you can also have phone contact with a health professional to guide you through. Mindspot can be found by clicking here https://mindspot.org.au

If these are not available or you would prefer to talk with someone face to face, going to you GP is a good start. Many people do not feel that their problem is big enough to see a doctor but in my experience, the most opportune time to get support is early before symptoms get worse.

You are taking great steps already by just being here and with some extra support, you will be on a new path towards having less social anxiety and hopefully this will make the already tough job of parenting a little bit easier.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn