I wasn't fully honest with my psychologist. What do I do now?

[ojguac]

I have had one session with a psychologist after getting a mental health care plan for anxiety. She was really lovely and I definitely feel like I click with her. In the session we went through a lot of the big traumatic things have happened in my life and I kind of just briefly explained them all. The whole time I managed to be really talkative and shared a lot. When she asked questions about how I feel in my daily life, I answered with what I thought was honesty, telling her that I am anxious all the time but that it's not too bad. She also got me to do the DASS test again which came back with results all in the 'normal' range.

After leaving, I have been thinking a lot about what I said and how I actually feel and am now hyper-aware of my anxiety throughout the day. I realised that I am constantly worried about something... whether that be feeling anxious in social situations, worrying what others think of me, constantly replaying past conversations over and over in my head, always feeling sick even if I am not sick, worrying about being sick in public situations etc. I realised I don't think I'm ever really relaxed.

I'm unsure why I wasn't able to tell her this, though. I'm not sure if it's because I didn't actually realise how debilitating my anxiety is, and perhaps because I've always felt like this I just thought it was normal and that I am actually only "anxious" on really bad days if that makes sense. I also think I wasn't able to be fully honest with her because I feel like other people have it worse than me and that I'm not doing too bad in the grand scheme of things. I mean I am still able to get up and go to uni and work, I have friends, I used to do well when I was in high school, I come off confident to other people.

How do I tell this to my psychologist? How do I tell her I wasn't completely honest in our first session - kind of without me even realising. I'm scared she will think I'm just faking it or backtracking on what I said last session because I want sympathy or something. I don't want sympathy, I just want her to know how I feel so that she can help me.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Ojiguac, & welcome to the forum.

I have done that sort of thing, especially when I don't know people very well, & not don't offer much more than sketchy outlines before I feel comfortable with them. It is unusal for anyone to be entirely forthcoming with someone they have only just barely met. Including therapists.

I think how you feel would be a useful thing to discuss with her. You can explain what you hav said here, how you feel you were not honest, (though I think you were, only didn't blurt out everything all at once), about how you feel concerned over what people think, how you replay conversations, (I'd ask what you are listening for in the replay?), & you don't even have to do this all at once, either.

But I could understand if you do feel you have to rush right into the deep end - the mental health care plans offering such a limited number of sessions with the psychologist. Seeing her could give you a very good idea about if the help she offers is valuable to try to work out how to see her more if you need. Or if she would discuss what other options you may have when the mental health care plan finishes.

You are most welcome to post here, or look at other threads &/or post to them. There are many people who have anxiety to one degree or other. You & Your needs are as worthy as anyone's.

All the best,

mmMekitty

[Petal22]

Hi ojguac,

Wellcome to our forums!

Its ok…….. at your next session just try to open up more about the way you are feeling.

I believe it takes time with some people to really open up and be honest with their psychologist.

Im sure your psychologist will be understanding.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear ojguac,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums..

I think a lot of people me included finds it extremely hard to talk about how they really feel with anxiety, depression and any mental health we struggle with...

I know I am not 100% on how I’m coping when my counsellor asks me...I think it’s because I don’t want to burden them with and sometimes it feels so incredibly hard to just speak 100% truth...I find it hard to talk about me...

I do remember once though, that my counsellor saw through my words and gentle said to me...that she isn’t a mind reader and unless I’m totally honest with how I’m feeling, what my thoughts are...then she wouldn’t be able to help me to the best of her ability...

It’s okay ojguac...next time you have an appointment with her, she will more like ask you again how your week was and how your coping....just this time..take a deep breath and try hard to be totally honest with her...You do deserve all the help you can get as your not well....

If you feel it’s to hard to be completely open with her, then maybe you could write out how your feeling/struggling each day in a sort of journal and hand it to her...a lot of people do this because of high anxiety...

My kindest thoughts with my care dearest ojguac..

Grandy..

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi ojguac,

Welcome and thank you for joining and asking this question.

I promise you that you are not alone in this one. There are so many people in the same boat for different sorts of reasons. Sometimes, it's because we don't really know of the answers, other times, we haven't built trust to share them- whatever it is, it's perfectly okay.

With every therapist I've seen, I'm 'pretty much all good but struggle a bit sometimes' (lies!). It's not until later that things are brought up. Sometimes I don't even know how much I'm bothered by something until it comes to the surface- kind of like how you weren't really aware of your anxiety until the DASS brought attention to it.

Totally totally normal. Everything that you've shared with us you can share with her (or even print this out if it's easier). There's no hurry and no judgement.

Hope this helps and feel free to let us know how it goes.

rt