Supporting my partner with a eating disorder.

[Gambit87]

Hey everyone!

Its been a long time since I've posted on here!

Long story short, my partner has an eating disorder due to severe childhood trauma. 

Up until a few months ago she was fairly balanced. Going to the gym, eating relatively healthy and binging/purging fairly irregularly. She was on the cusp of deep diving into her past traw

However, Stress is a big trigger for her - right now she's working in youth community services and she is studying and has been under alot of pressure. She has essentially gone back to the only coping strategy she has known her whole life - binge eating alot then purging. She feels very intense shame when she does it. She is on the cusp of changing to a job with part time hours soon so im hoping things will settle down and she can take some time out for her self. 

From my point of view - I feel like im watching behind a glass wall, sitting there unable to help. I try to internalise my frustrations so that I don't upset her. Tonight, I told her I was going to bed early (so I could remove myself from the situation because I was frustrated), and we ended up fighting. 

Before I go down the google rabbit hole - can anyone point me in the right direction for some resources so I can better myself? 

Thank you everyone. I just feel trapped, helpless and I just dont know what to do sometimes. 

[sbella02]

Hey Gambit87,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us, and I'd like to warmly welcome you to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that you're both dealing with this situation.

I can't imagine how challenging it must be to watch someone you love go through this, it sounds like this is really taking a toll on your mental health. First of all, your feelings are also important to consider here, so if you feel like you need to chat to someone, our Beyond Blue homepage has a 24/7 chat feature and a number to call. The Butterfly Foundation may be also a good place to start if you're looking to chat with someone or looking for resources.

Does she ever talk about her experience of having an eating disorder with you? If you're open to it, you may find it useful to have a really gentle, open, and honest conversation with her about how she's feeling, and allow her to talk through some of the stress and shame she might be feeling. At the very least, reminding her that you're there to support her and that relapses are common and not an indicator of failure can be really impactful for somebody who may be feeling a lot of shame.

I hope this can help a little, what a challenging situation to navigate. We're always here to chat if you'd like to get things off your chest, too. I'm sure there are others on here who can offer some brilliant advice, and you're welcome to use the search bar to find similar threads from people who may have also been going through something similar.

Take care, SB