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Frustrated and here to vent a bit

Community Member

Hi, I'm back after a long while

My partner and I have been together for over 10 years. He has long-term depression and anxiety, needs to be coaxed into even minimal treatment and is in one of his worse phases at the moment.

I haven't gotten a full nights rest the last 2 days because he can't sleep and keeps waking me up, so I'm feeling crabby and wanted to make a post so I can be less emotional with him today.


He always gets less considerate toward me and also more resistant to treatment or general healthy lifestyle practises when his condition is poor. I have a pretty major chronic illness that needs a lot of management myself, so I understand that being unwell can drain you of the energy needed to care for yourself. Despite that, it's so hard, sad and frustrating to see him do little or nothing when there's so much he could do to make things easier on both of us.

The only treatment he's on at the moment is melatonin for sleep and a psychiatrist appointment once every 2-3 months. I should be glad he's at least doing that at least, but I suspect he hasn't/isn't telling his doctor about these down periods and how much they affect him.


I don't want him to see months of much lower mood and level of functioning as his normal.

Sorry for the wordiness

It's a big help knowing this forum is always here and I'm not alone


1 Reply 1

Community Member

I can appreciate your need to vent. I often have thoughts in my head that I would never voice to my partner who is battling depression. I have found it really hard not having anyone to relate to. It's very isolating, even within my own relationship. At times it feels like I'm the only one in it and I need to stop trying to force it. I find that there is a lot of support available for sufferers of mental health problems, but next to nothing for those of us living alongside it, which increasing the feeling of isolation. I'm always conflicted between being compassionate towards him, and standing up for myself. I don't want to make excuses for him, but I also know that there are reasons why he isn't able to do what I need him to do. The most frustrating thing is when they don't try to help themselves. But again, they aren't always in a frame of mind that will allow them to do even that. My partner has abandoned two attempts at professional help. They didn't last very long. I won't bother forcing him, that wouldn't work anyway. 


Anyway, don't apologise for venting. This is really hard. I don't wish it on anyone. I would give anything for our lives and our relationship to go back to how it used to be. I grieve for it.