Hi, welcome
Quite a challenge working it all out isnt it?. I might have some answers but it wont replace professional care like therapy.
I would, with my experience, call them intrusive thoughts. Also lack of mind control has a part. So, if anyone was to see a car wreck on the side of a road obviously been in an accident, how many travellers would think "I hope that doesnt happen to us in our car" maybe 95%. How many will have the same thoughts in 15 minutes? maybe 20%. How many would think often about it? maybe 5%. And this 5% is perhaps where you are and where I used to be.
We cannot alter our natural mind so what it the next best thing? It's deflecting those thoughts. Our senses, sight, smell, touch, hearing, taste etc all combine to help alter our thoughts. Eg try this- next time you are thinking of bad things at home, immediately walk out the door and walk around the block or to a playground. Watch children play, the birds fly, pat dogs, say hello to people, help an elderly person carry bags... when you get home you wont be thinking about the event before you left. This is distraction.
The other element of distraction is realisation. If you have a thought eg you are thinking about that smashed car, is it realistic to think of it in terms of "that could be us"? Well it is realistic but once you have chosen safety measures eg slowed down, then it isnt realistic to dwell on that topic. So, turn the music on, try to think about those younger days when you first heard a song etc. That is realistic thinking
Finally, try to fill your normal day up with activities. I remember building my first house on my own, before that I'd think about my ex wife all the time. But as I got busier those thoughts evaporated. So pack into your life various hobbies and other activity to not have time to think about unproductive things.
There is no real need to discuss topics to friends about your inner insecurities. Most people wont relate to it and its why this and other forums are so popular, birds of a feather flock together. They cant help with an illness they cannot see and want fun in life. It's only the highly empathetic ones that have the compassion level. Best not to expect any help with people in your life unless a friend mentions they have a mental illness etc then you can help each other. After all if a friend of your was on a forum that was about old castles in England its ok for them to mention it but how interested would anyone be long term? Not very. So everyone has a part of their life they rarely discuss. Little to gain and a lot to lose comes to mind with sharing MI with friends.
I do recommend professional help. Talk to your GP. Also self help is amazing. Google - Youtube prem rawat maharaji all is well. He has many more videos that can guide you.
Reply anytime
TonyWK
