Filling out the recent 2026 Census Form, I inevitably arrived at the section named "Martial Status". As I worked my way down the list, I wished that I could have ticked "Never Married". Oh, how I wish that I could have done that truthfully. As it was, I ticked Divorced although I like to think of myself as "Single".
Anyway, it doesn't really matter to anyone else on this planet, except me. I was not only married once for all of the wrong reasons, but I also put myself through it all again six years afterwards. So, I was double whammied. Two divorces in one lifetime. Two completely different marriages but neither of which I should have bothered with. The amazing thing with the benefit of hindsight was that not once did I consider that either of them would fail. Having learned a few things with the first marriage, I felt suitably qualified to ensure that nothing bad happened with the second. Well, I still had a way to go with the learning process. To this day, I ask myself how I managed to live through either of them. The answer always comes back that I had no idea of what I was doing. I just thought that falling in love was the key to everything, but it wasn't. It showed me how ill-prepared I was for life let alone marrying another human being. Plus, I had this romantic notion of love and romance which didn't get off the ground with who I was married to. Would I get married again? Absolutely not. Human relationships are out of my reach on any scale. Would I caution anyone else against marriage? Absolutely not because I know that everyone is different and someone else might be born to be married but not me. I'm not built to sacrifice everything I have and then find out that I'm not considered good enough. Not worthy of being a husband and not worthy of being loved. But at this stage of my life, I have found the passage of time to be a great healer.
I don't need anyone to complete me because I am already complete and unique as a human being. I value my freedom and my sanity more than any kind of relationship.
amd1953
