Its a common question, those with the "fog" of mental illness confess that they dont know who they are. They're lost, feel bland in personality and dont see anything unique in their own character. What can they do to become somebody, like everyone else in the world?.
Well firstly we must face some hard facts.Courage is an element of us all and we need to dig deep to harness it, put it to use.
We are all unique. We look different, talk different, act uniquely, so lets accept that we are unique. Most people in childhood develop interests naturally. Hobbies, future professions, whether we like certain foods and as we grow older, slot into certain fields of natural ability.
I wanted to be a policeman or pilot, was inventive, loved building cubbies, developed humour but I had an anchor, a part of me didnt develop as quickly as it should have...street wisdom and emotions
So, if I had also not developed in other fields, like my character and slotting into various fields of ability, I'd be asking myself ..who am I?
Im suggesting that some work needs to be done to discover who you are. Counseling would help here. But daily you can spent time discovering what is already present within you...you!
There's no better example than a friend of my wife. Lacking any confidence, failed 30 year marriage, dwelling on her health issues, no obvious unique abilities- to her. She invited us to dinner and was in tears as we walked through the door over thinking her meal would be terrible. She had zero confidence.
The meal consisted of steak peas and potato bake, then lemon marangue pie. At the end of the meal I grabbed paper and a pen and gave it to her and asked her to write down the recipe of the potato bake. "Why" she asked. "Because its the best Ive tasted, better that the town cafe, why arent you a cook"?
Eventually the same local cafe advertised for a casual cook. She got the job (especially after I told the owner about her skill). Suddenly she had direction a future, a reason to read books on recipes.
But what I find amusing is that her ability to cook wasnt seen by her as a unique ability. Some people cant boil water and every chef in the world is trained to be one. But here was a lady that cooked for 33 years for her family which was great training and learned through trial and error.
You can find who you are. Be flexible though and positive. I ended up a tinkerer and pi. Not a pilot..so be ready to change direction and change your mind
..thats ok to. Find YOU!
Tony WK
