Trying desperately to keep no contact with a Narsissist

[lookingforsomelight]

Hi all

Feeling very low, degraded, foolish, stupid, used, abused and so much more it embarrasses me to admit.

I have joined Beyond Blue to reach out at night or day as i am dealing with a heartless soulless man that i have foolishly gone back to over and over again for almost four years.

Without getting inyo Every detail.

If even one person say...spat on me i would never speak to them again i would walk away.

But i have let this man do the unthinkable.

I had a dvo out on him then dropped it when we were in court making a complete fool of myself and those who supported me.

Now i have nothing and noone.

Really it is my own fault.

Even my daughter who thought she had the toughest best mum in the world, she is now 19 looks and treats me like i am a pushover.

I am empathic and this man lost his child ten years ago and straight away i felt sorry for him. He has a ego bigger than a football field and is the rudest nastiest man i have ever met in my life.

I could go on and on but i must stop wasting my life on his nastiness.

Tonight he texted me (yes he is on block but it goes to blocked msgs which i must stop reading) to let me know i gave him a STD from the man i slept with 6 years ago. Work that out.his text read something like..you old slapper just found out my kidneys hurt because your all poxed up slut you have given me the clap. 

Delightful!

Yes i know you must be saying just stay away from him.

Well that is why i am here.

I am hoping with all the reading and research and realisation this place will be a safe place for me to come and spill my guts so to speak.

Maybe i will meet some people that understand and can help or give me some advice or encouragement.

I do know NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT.

Anyway love and light to all.

The next couple of weeks are going to be tough.

Hanging in there and still looking for some light.

♡

[Zeal]

Hi Looking for some light,

First off, welcome to the forum! 🙂

I am really sorry to hear about this man who has constantly mistreated you. He took advantage of your empathic and kind nature, which is manipulative and unjust. You are aware of how toxic a person he is in your life, but unfortunately you can't manage to completely get away from him and his influence.

I don't have any specific advice for you, to be honest. I am currently in my second ever relationship, and I haven't been in your situation. There are people on this forum who have been mistreated by partners. Hopefully they'll see your post and respond. If not, know that you are not weak for getting into this situation. As you know, you need to cut ties with this man for your own wellbeing, and also for the sake of your daughter and other loved ones.

I hope your Christmas is as pleasant and happy as possible! Hang in there!

Best wishes,

SM

[lookingforsomelight]

Dear SM

Thank you do much.

You have made me realise i have done the right thing joining this forum on BB.

I am in the process of selling what is left of my business and moving states.

Life is the hardest it has ever been. Your words have made my day and given me that little bit of encouragement i must be craving at presemt.

Thank you 

Love and light to you and yours.

Merry Chrostmas 

I hope next year is a positive and happy one for all.

♡

[Zeal]

Hi again looking for some light,

Thank you for getting back to me! I am so glad to hear that my words have been of some comfort to you. Moving must be emotionally tough. I have lived in the same city and the same home for my entire life (22 years). I plan to move out of home in a few years, and I know that my anxiety will kick into gear during the transition.

I hope your move goes as smoothly as possible!

Have a great Christmas, and good luck for the New Year 🙂

Best wishes,

SM