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Toxic friendship for two years

EDMClub21
Community Member

After two years of friendship, that person, whom I met from the retreat, has recently been causing mental disaster and stress.

Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, he took me on adventures that weren’t to my tastes and particularly dangerous. At low mood, the friend also socially abuses me and shows some form of racism and discrimination every time I say ‘no’ to a decision. A massive digital divide between the friend made it extremely tough to get along. The conversations were also led by the friend, acting bossy and autocratic and saying silly stuff (e.g. See you soon, bye, then hang up). Some of the conversations I find funny, though upsetting, childish, nonsense and sarcastic that I am currently being fed up.

Now with the pandemic, I am finding it hard for the friend to keep his distance at times and the increasing dominance of 20 phone calls per day is pushing to the limit. I currently have no choice but to split up.

How can I stay away from toxic people and protect myself?

3 Replies 3

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi EDMClub21,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry this has happened to you and that your friend treats you this way.

Not everyone, deserves your smile, your passion, and your friendship .

Sometimes the most powerful thing to do is to walk away from people who drain you.

Anna1991
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi EDMclub21,

This sounds like a difficult relationship, and one that certainly sounds "toxic" as you've described. Anyone that socially abuses you, discriminates against you and doesn't respect the word "no" is not a friend. What is about this person that had kept you in the relationship for the last two years? Try and look into what has drawn you in and kept you in close contact with them. Sometimes people can convince us that we need them despite how poorly they treat us; and that certainly isn't the case. You deserve a friend that respects you and cares about you - after all, that is what a friend truely is.

Staying away from toxic people involves recognising your self worth and not accepting behaviour that devalues or disrespects you. You are worthy of kindness and respect, and while I know it's easier said than done learning to like and value yourself is the key step.

Take care.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello EDMClub, and a warm welcome to the forums.

If you don't want to do what they are doing, you are entitled to say no, they may be disappointed but have to understand it's your right to decline, you don't want any part in what they want to do, and if any toxic comments are made against you, then they can't be considered to be friends.

With 20 calls a day is ridiculous, I would be blocking their phone number and if any emails are also included, block them as well, slowly they will get the hint, that you are fed up with all these phone calls, and what is said in all of these calls, who knows.

I wouldn't dare ring someone 20 times, that's only annoying, so block them or get another sim card, if you don't then they will leave messages on your voicemail, you don't need this and have to start looking after yourself.

Take care.

Geoff.