telling my children
Hello Jonjor, I'm very sorry you have been in hospital, but I know what you are saying about having an irregular heart beat, as I also have the same and my rate could quite easily change from a normal rate to a completely different rate making it to be abnormal, however I take medication for this everyday but I bruise easily.
Both my sons know and anyone else who sees the bruises also know but it can be managed with medication.
Hope that helps you.
Thank you for posting your questions and concerns. What to tell our children, and when to tell our children, is never a straight-forward, or easy answer. There are multiple factors which you should consider.
Age of children - as with everything else, the ages of the children has a very large impact on what we tell them. For instance, we must be much more careful about what we tell young children as compared with what we tell teenage children, and what we tell our children after they become adults. And, our children grow up much quicker than we are mentally able to comprehend, understand, or, in many cases, even accept.
Maturity level - This is often different from our child's physical age, and is different for each child.
What other people communicate outside our awareness - Children talk, ask questions, and speculate about what may be going on with their parents. When we are separated, if they feel safe about the discussion, they will ask the other parent. That said, as they get older, they compare what each parent says about the other parent with their own lived experience with the other parent.
Ultimately, it is up to you what information you reveal, and when you reveal it. We look forward to learning how other members of our community think about what information is revealed, and when the information is revealed.
Remember that there are no easy answers for this question.
Thanx both for your replies
I totally understand the individual maturity been a huge factor in what i tell my kids my main issue is, i can hide the anxiety attacks and the panic "i am a master at that like most" but i am scared as i can not control the dissociative part and it has become a bigger issue as of late. I find myself pushing them away by not seeing them as much whilst i am ill. So i am kind of weighting up the for and against. I know i am kind of asking a really no easy answer question in all of this and i know i will have to make a choice i guess i am just looking any people who have had to tell younger adults teens about what can happen" the bad word" and how to approach it?
Hello Jonjr, I know what you're saying, but wouldn't it be best for them to know, I have no qualms in telling anybody who asks about the bruises, at least they know, rather than guessing.
Don't push them away, as we get older in life we develop different symptoms we didn't have when younger, and if you love and care about your children then there shouldn't be any secrets.
As I take medication my doctor takes my blood pressure and says that it has been controlled by the medication I take.
Can I ask you a question, wouldn't you want your children to tell you about everything that's happening medically with them and when they don't, how do we feel.
In my opinion you can just come out and tell them. As teenagers they will want to know but it shouldn't upset them too much as teenagers are very self absorbed. You can explain that it is not life threatening as this would be their biggest concern.
I think it may be more upsetting if you avoid contact with them. They will have a harder time with that, I think.