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On The Shelf by Ronsee
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02-07-2017
01:42 PM
I am a young 86 years of age but usually taken for about 70. and married for 62 years. As neighbours near London we started school together in January 1936 aged 5 then went through life together as school mates, friends, lovers, then married - a relationship of 79 years. Married in London in 1953 and moved to Tasmania in 1954. My wife suffered from Alzheimer's and was a resident of a nursing home for 4 years and
passed away in July 2015.
We moved from Tasmania to Queensland's Sunshine Coast in 2012 due to her failing health and to be closer to family. As a pastor I retired from church ministry in June 2014 following a stroke, but have since acted as a chaplain at a nursing home. I walk and swim daily and learning line dancing. I have one daughter, 3 granddaughters and 6 great grandchildren.
I have spent my life helping and serving others but now need some help myself. For two years I have suffered from loneliness, particularly
of an evening as I can’t drive at night. I am depressed, lonely, and seem unable to fill that void in my life. I miss that physical contact -
holding hands, a hug and a kiss. I've tried Internet dating without success as no one is interested in an 86-year-old man. I don't seem to mix well socially as everyone I meet have their own friends or partners. Advice was to join a men's shed which wasn't really helpful for someone my age and interests but suggested this forum. Are there others of advanced years who are active yet also feel alone and on the shelf?
passed away in July 2015.
We moved from Tasmania to Queensland's Sunshine Coast in 2012 due to her failing health and to be closer to family. As a pastor I retired from church ministry in June 2014 following a stroke, but have since acted as a chaplain at a nursing home. I walk and swim daily and learning line dancing. I have one daughter, 3 granddaughters and 6 great grandchildren.
I have spent my life helping and serving others but now need some help myself. For two years I have suffered from loneliness, particularly
of an evening as I can’t drive at night. I am depressed, lonely, and seem unable to fill that void in my life. I miss that physical contact -
holding hands, a hug and a kiss. I've tried Internet dating without success as no one is interested in an 86-year-old man. I don't seem to mix well socially as everyone I meet have their own friends or partners. Advice was to join a men's shed which wasn't really helpful for someone my age and interests but suggested this forum. Are there others of advanced years who are active yet also feel alone and on the shelf?
12 Replies 12
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07-07-2017
10:56 AM
Hi Ron,
Great to hear from you again and thank you for sharing just that little bit more.
Yes, cruises are great and you can make them into anything you wish really … you can keep to yourself as much as you wish, or you can go out and get into as much activity as you’d like too … and I always find that people are really keen for a chat, etc. A former person, I used to know as myself, used to love this kind of thing, but as my mental illness has worsened, I really sway away from those kinds of things … having said, that I do love the cruise situation; just me and my fam (partner and two teenage kids) and we all have a great time.
You did give me a grin when you mentioned about having had your fill of bingo, due to the many hours spent calling it. Myself, I only play when “on cruises”.
Getting a gong from the Queen sounds a very impressive achievement, so that would fill MANY pages of your life story, I’d imagine.
I’m only early 50’s, but alas, the days for a good head of hair are memories of days gone by … ahhh, photos, what wonderful things they are.
I get a sore neck when trying to check out your head of hair, due to it being upside down; and hearing that you’re quite “oh fay” with computers, I’d imagine that this is a thing done on purpose. I’m not meaning to poke my nose where it’s not wanted, but if you’re on other sites etc and you do the old upside down photo trick, maybe the ladies around your age aren’t quite as flexible as they used to be and therefore, they can’t actually see how handsome a man you are.
I’m also wondering now that you’ve found this site and seem to be quite settled here, whether you have explored other areas within the forums, under the different headings. I’m not sure how you’d feel about this, but someone of your experience and skill with dealing with people, I think you could really become a valued contributor on this site … even if for just a short while; as another kind of distraction?
Kind regards
Neil
Great to hear from you again and thank you for sharing just that little bit more.
Yes, cruises are great and you can make them into anything you wish really … you can keep to yourself as much as you wish, or you can go out and get into as much activity as you’d like too … and I always find that people are really keen for a chat, etc. A former person, I used to know as myself, used to love this kind of thing, but as my mental illness has worsened, I really sway away from those kinds of things … having said, that I do love the cruise situation; just me and my fam (partner and two teenage kids) and we all have a great time.
You did give me a grin when you mentioned about having had your fill of bingo, due to the many hours spent calling it. Myself, I only play when “on cruises”.
Getting a gong from the Queen sounds a very impressive achievement, so that would fill MANY pages of your life story, I’d imagine.
I’m only early 50’s, but alas, the days for a good head of hair are memories of days gone by … ahhh, photos, what wonderful things they are.
I get a sore neck when trying to check out your head of hair, due to it being upside down; and hearing that you’re quite “oh fay” with computers, I’d imagine that this is a thing done on purpose. I’m not meaning to poke my nose where it’s not wanted, but if you’re on other sites etc and you do the old upside down photo trick, maybe the ladies around your age aren’t quite as flexible as they used to be and therefore, they can’t actually see how handsome a man you are.
I’m also wondering now that you’ve found this site and seem to be quite settled here, whether you have explored other areas within the forums, under the different headings. I’m not sure how you’d feel about this, but someone of your experience and skill with dealing with people, I think you could really become a valued contributor on this site … even if for just a short while; as another kind of distraction?
Kind regards
Neil
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07-07-2017
02:38 PM
Thanks Neil, By way of explanation there is not facility on my BB profile to rotate my photo but have no idea why it would copy it upside down anyway.. Have created and saved a new photo.
Will give some thought to joining Blue Voices but I relate well to older people and there aren't any over 60 on this forum that I've found. If there was an opportunity on this forum to talk and perhap help older people experiencing loneliness and depression then I would like to hear from anyone in that later age group.
Regards Ron
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07-07-2017
11:59 PM
Dear Ron,
Actually you have met someone over 60, (was born shortly after the war - no not WW1 🙂
The reason I'm posting is another probably half-baked idea, joining or forming an amateur dramatic/light opera/musical society? Again can contain a large cross section of humanity.
Croix (who acted so notably he ended up running the stage lights)
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