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Not a 'normal' relationship

Gypsyangel
Community Member

Hi everyone!

I need some advice/different points of view please.

I am currently part of a 'relationship' that I am finding very frustrating. We don't spend much physical time together because he is always working. He lives at the workshop as well. I find it hard to get any quality time together or even just do things together. We do talk a bit on the phone but that's really the extent of the relationship. There's always excuses or reasons why we can't see each other. 

I feel kept at a distance and on hold until he wants to see me. I also feel it's a toxic relationship because I become more anxious and depressed when we have contact. I feel trapped and am really struggling to get away. I have told him I am unhappy. He just says it will be all good soon. I feel like I am the support for him but my needs aren't getting met. 

My struggle is mostly on my own. 

13 Replies 13

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Gypsyangel, thanks for posting your comment, which to me seems to very strange, because a relationship means physical time together and not for him to say ' it will all be good soon', and for him to dictate all the terms only when he's available.

If he is only making excuses or reasons why you can't see each other, sounds to be something wrong, it just doesn't appear to be positive news and I believe he is trying to hide something.

Personally I would dump him and find someone who you can truly love and have a close relationship, because this isn't what I call being in love by the way he is treating you.

Branch out and have trust that there is a boyfriend waiting for you to let loose, and have some fun. Geoff. x

pipsy
Community Member
Hi Gypsyangel.  I agree with what Geoff says.  You're really not 'in' a relationship, not even a friendship.  My first thought, is there someone else on the scene he's not talking about.  When you're involved with someone, you want to be with that person as often as possible.  I would ask him straight out what's going on.  If you want to move on, that's your call too.  I agree, there's plenty more fish in the sea.  You don't need to settle for second best.  Pip.

PositiveLyfe89
Community Member

Hello GypsyAngel 😃

I would suggest that you talk with him about your feelings...maybe firstly write down in dot points your feelings and where your head is at with your relationship and then if you are both not willing to compromise for the relationship, then I would suggest to end things. 

Kind Regards,

PositiveLyfe89

Paul
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Gypsyangel,

I agree with what's been said - he doesn't deserve you.

You mentioned "My struggle is my own" can you elaborate on that?

 

Paul

Paul
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Aaargh Sorry - you said "My struggle is ON my own" Now I understand.

I had written a whole big reply that got eaten when I pressed "post"

Essentially - Take a deep breath, a handful of courage and your self respect and let this man know that he just isn't good enough for you. You deserve to be treated like a princess not a frog.

There are so many beautiful guys out there who would want to steal you away from that sort of treatment.

How do you feel about ending the current situation?

Paul

Gypsyangel
Community Member

Hi Paul...

I have tried a few times...and because I haven't been well, he manages to sweet talk his way back again! 

I have backed off quite a lot for my own sense of well being and knew something wasn't right with the whole deal. I have been feeling stronger with less contact. I am still a bit scared of what his reaction is going to be because he's been so angry since I started seeing my psychologist.

Everything everyone has said makes so much sense and is right.

I am so grateful for all the help, it really means so much to me! Xo 

Gypsyangel
Community Member

Thank you Geoff!

You are right! The whole relationship, if that's what you call it, has been more struggle!

I am so grateful for finding such amazing people on here! 

Thank you so much x

Gypsyangel
Community Member

Thank you Pip!

I agree...it isn't a relationship. 

It's just a matter now of finding the courage! 

I can do this 🙂

Paul
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

You can do this!

If he tends towards angry, please have a friend close by when you have the chat with him.

 

Paul