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Nice guys finish last

Woz84
Community Member

This is my first post on anything like this, I've never been one to really open up my emotions. 

This has been the worst year of my life, I've lost everything. My long term partner looked me straight in the eye and said I don't love you. Leaving to only be told months later that she needed me and wanted me back to again a month or two later to be told once again that she doesn't love me broke my heart all over again, then to top it off kicked me out of our home. We were engaged and have a 3 year old daughter whom I adore with all that I am. I had left the army to be with them gave up a career so we could all be together. The funny thing is her career is going great. And now I'm stuck with nothing, no home a dead end job and I don't have my daughter running up to me every day after work.

 i have never been thanked by my ex for how hard I worked or the sacrifices I made. Now I get comments like "I'm the mother I'll always win in court" I'm an amazing father I know that it's one of the few things in this world I'm completely proud of. It hurts me a lot to think I don't have her with me. I feel no control, where she goes to daycare etc.

im a broken man I don't see a lot of happiness I hate where I work I feel like I'm losing my daughter and losing control of everything. I don't see a point to anything anymore. I'm sick of people telling me your daughters the point. But what about me. When will I be happy when will someone  pull me aside and say "thank you" "I appreciate all that you do"

that to me is but a fantasy

sorry if the structure doesn't sound right just don't know how to put how I feel into words.

 

2 Replies 2

romantic_thi3f
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Woz84,

Welcome to BB and thanks for reaching out.

I'm really sorry that this has happened.  It sounds like it's been really rough and I'm really glad you opened up to us even though you might not be one for opening up emotions.

I feel like the biggest priority is you getting some control back; so where about's are you living right now?  Were you renting with your partner?  Is there somewhere you can stay while you can get this sorted out?

Maybe you could try reaching out and finding a bit of a support system.  So you've reached out here and this is great - maybe you could talk to someone else about it too, such as a GP or Social Worker.  Alternatively it might be helpful to go to Centrelink/Housing to try and work out a short-term plan for renting and work especially if finances are an issue.  Another option is to stay with friends until you are able to look at a place of your own - assuming that is you can't go home.   

My way and perspective of thinking is that helping you find somewhere more stable (with a house and income/money coming in) will help you feel more in control.  If your kid is your priority, then allowing you some stability will also help your case in custody should it come to that.

Again, I'm sorry that this is happened. I hope that this more practical way of thinking might help a little.

Take care,

Zeal
Community Member

Hi Woz,

Welcome to this online community! 🙂

You have unfortunately been treated unfairly. Your ex-wife sounds as though she's taken advantage of you, and hasn't been considerate of your emotions, and of your role in your daughter's life. The world can always use more nice people. As a kind person, you deserve to find a partner who respects and appreciates you. Sacrificing your career in the army is a selfless act, which shows you cared deeply about your family's lifestyle and wellbeing.

In the short term, as Romantic Thief said, finding a safe place to live is the priority, as well as ensuring you have enough money for food and other necessities. Are your family in your city or area? Despite being a father yourself, there is no shame in moving back with family. If you have siblings, perhaps you could stay with them for a while. Keep in contact with close friends and family friends. Having social and emotional support is vital during tough times.

I hope you can find some solutions to the challenges you're facing.

Best wishes,

SM