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My bipolar disorder is destructive - can I maintain a stable relationship?

Positive_Vibes
Community Member

I’d like advice from people on dating/marrying someone with mental illness, and burden.

I'm a new member; I like the success stories. I have Bipolar I, Epilepsy, and I'm an alcoholic. Recently diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (obviously my new psychiatrist has a crush on me)

Two months ago I had a seizure after a year of successful treatment. Was embarrassing and I dislocated my shoulder. I started drinking again, then a week later I quit my job, broke up with the girlfriend I lived with, and flew to Thailand. Bangkok was an exciting whirlwind of delusions, voices, hypersexuality, and risk taking (drugs, unprotected sex). I stopped taking my epilepsy meds and had seizures almost every morning but still every night I was out engaging in high-octane debauchery. And somehow I spent nearly $13,000 in two weeks, in a country where everything is cheap. I don't remember most of it.

Returned to depressing situation- no job, lonely apartment, big chunk of my savings gone. I entered a mixed state (like mania but less fun) I sought treatment but even on a mixture of meds I slept only a few hours a night. Louder voices, lots of whiskey. As of last week I’m starting to feel normal and put pieces of my life back together.

The worst part of all this is losing my girlfriend, and hurting her so badly. She’s an amazing person and I wanted to marry her. Thing is, this happens every 2-3 years, like clockwork. I build up some success, in career or romance, and then destroy it all in just a few weeks. But I never cared for someone like my ex, and I can see that as I get older, I have more and more to lose. I know some people like me end up alone, in jail, or homeless. But I'd like to have a family one day.

What will define my success story is a successful relationship. I want to be a good husband one day, so I have decided to commit to treatment more than I have before. Doing everything I can. But even if I do, I know it will be a burden on my family. I would love to hear from someone who has a successful relationship with someone with chronic mental illness, any type. What can the disabled person do to ease the burden? What about kids, what do you do when the parent enters a depression or mania? I’m just trying to have a clear picture of a goal I can work towards; I need to believe its possible. Thank you.

11 Replies 11

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Loula,

Google

Topic: relationship strife? The peace pipe- beyondblue

Tony WK

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Positive Vibes, and everyone

I have just seen this thread and it is very interesting. Thanks for raising many interesting issues.

I have been living with bipolar for over 40 years and up until my current relationship had not had much luck with relationships. I used to blame my bipolar or my partners , and f course these are factors, but I now take responsibility and realise I did not have the right approach.

After reading stay and Loula's posts I can see that a lot of planning and insights into one's behaviour and total honesty and vigilance are needed.

Positive vibes you are taking responsibility for your behaviour and have a positive attitude.

Quirky