Love 4 weeks ago....disgust now

[peonie63]

Hi I have been with my partner for 9 years, when I met him he was broken from a bad relationship. I had finally found andnequal liove - ourn motto was a relationship needs to be easy - tick tick. My cup was full and moved states to be with him. He initially looked at me with adoration. He always told me that he had it all but wasn't happy.  He couldnt handle conflict so any argument would end with - oh so throw it back on me its my fault - which frustrated me no end. He struggled.with the dysfunctionality of his job and he was always the fix it man. He had many moments of job related stress and came out of it and a couple of times he lost it and would iphysically inact situations so he could get his point across. Just before he went away he was drinking alot and sleeping separately, his reasoning - well you always leave from me snoring so i might as well - his face was just blank and I said you seem weird he agreed - fast forward a week and he came back  - he said he thinks he has had a breakdown and he didn't want to come home - then he started doing house.choirs like he was ticking boxing - from there he stopped.talking and looked at me with disgust - I have moved out - I sent a text to say I am hoping he is ok - the message I got back was horrific - said it was me not his work and accusations that are completely blown out of proportion - I am now second guessing everything - when he left his wife she changed passwords etc for internet and the first thing he has done  - he's thinking I am her- his mum has bipolar and he was beaten as a child - his children have their head in the sand and dont understand the severity, I know what i need to do which is move on, but it all seems surreal.. anyone had similar situations

[Sophie_M]

Hi peonie63, 

We’re sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way and going through such a difficult time with your partner. We’re glad you could share this here, as our lovely community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you. 

It sounds like you could do with talking things through, so please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here. You could also speak to Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They also have some great advice on their pages, such as this one on communication in relationships. 

Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members soon. 

Kind regards,  
Sophie M 

[Guest_1584]

No doubt he has his stuff for sure and of course his kids can't understand or get a grip on things this stuff is horrific on kids.

But l'm also wondering how you've changed in that 9yrs too, and also of how you handle things and him and problems too and your way of handling things, saying things..

Get the feeling his things with you two are on one hand yeah his stuff but also there might be some truths too that you just don't realize.

Btw , do you leave him snoring , not judging just wondering ?

At any rate sorry but it really sounds like it's ran it's course and for whatever the reasons firstly there are his things but secondly you just aren't getting along anymore either.

rx