Depression

[mylove19]

I have recently become estranged from my daughter. I had a very turbulent life as a child and never felt like I was loved or wanted. When I was pregnant I always said and told my unborn daughter I would never treat her like I was treated. I failed. My family never supported me as a single mum and bad mouthed me to my daughter at every opportunity. There has been no positive communication with my mother or sister my whole life. My daughter and I were to spend our Christmas Day together on Thursday. I had a lovely day organised but she stood me up. She had to have lunch with her boyfriends grandmother. Her boyfriend and her live with this lady. I was so hurt I lost it. I am so irrational. I can't control myself. She has blocked me on all platforms. I am beside myself with grief guilt regret hopelessness. I can't stop crying. I can't stop trying to find away to contact her. Im fairly sure I have lost her for good but I live with a small amount of hope. I also know me contacting her is pushing her away more but I can't stop myself. Im lonely alone and sick of burdening my friends with this revolving door relationship. I love her so much but am killing the relationship or have killed it. My pain is so bad I need to talk to anyone or anything- meaning this type of communication online. How do I stop the hurt? I don't want to harm myself but I do wish I just wouldn't wake up one day. To do that I need to sleep but that is impossible. I have devoted my whole life to her and now she has a new life with her boyfriend I feel unwanted and unloved. I'm completely unhinged. Thanks for reading 

[geoff]

Hello mylove19, it is obviously very sad when this does happen and it's something as apparent we never expect will happen, unfortunately it does as our kids grow up, they develop a closer relationship with someone they fall in love with.

It is possible to feel lucky that they have found a person they truly love and in times of desperation they may want to contact you when their relationship faces a snag, so it's important to let them know you are there any time they want to talk with you, rather than letting them know you feel the complete opposite, then she may unblock you on social media, but a suggestion is that you try not to over indulge in making comments to all of her posts.

She will return to you, just give her a little time.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[tranzcrybe]

Sometimes we can't help but apply self-recriminations for all that has occurred over a lifetime, and attribute these to a single instance of rejection - Christmas time is when this hits hardest as we search for answers to the incongruity of life's stages.
Children (and daughter is but a fledgling adult) will always follow their heart which, in this moment, is firmly devoted to boyfriend and the world he occupies (including grandma). It is not a reflection on you as much as the newness and excitement in contemplating future aspirations - particularly avoiding any reference to the past for which you currently represent.
Things may progress in daughter's relationship or, as shiny trinkets are prone to fade rather quickly, revert to reality with a bit of a thud. Either way, your role is not diminished, only the position has been changed; whether or not recognised or manifested in besotted daughter's eyes, remaining supportive and showing understanding as you take a backward step will be well received making you more approachable for advice as one with much to offer from experience.
Naturally this will be tinged with sadness, but it's testament to you raising daughter in the most trying and selfless years without the full support of family and it might be fitting to reflect on this major success despite insurmountable odds.
Now, with a new year just around the corner, it is a time to devote to yourself, embarking on a newfound freedom and adventures without guilt or obligation.