Christmas Divorce

[Brian61]

My wife told me on Christmas Day that she hated me and wants a divorce. I feel sick and want to vomit. I am so tired and cant do anything. Bored and lonely. My life is in upheaval again. Sad.

[white knight]

Hi Brian61, welcome to beyond Blue forums

And in true aussie style you will pull yourself together and go forward. Easy to say harder to do. But you have little choice.

Separation is difficult until two things happen IMO. You accept that it is over and find positives in it being over. And you find another direction.

In 1996 when my kids were 7 and 4yo I was on my own. After a few weeks of grief I accepted my wife and I should never have been together in the first place- incompatible. And a few weeks later purchased a black of land and had direction. I worked hard at work and hard at building my own home. So much so, I had little time to think (stew over) my ex's bad attitude and abuse of me.

If you are convinced she is permanently fixed with her view of you then its time for the above acceptance and new journey.

Also use search to read thread-

Being positive- what's the secret?

Regards Tony   WK

[Neil_1]

Hi Brian

I'm very sorry to hear of what your wife said to you - and to top it off, on Christmas Day. 

I don't know if you're still around here on this site, but if you are, I would really like to hear back from you - just to see that you're doing "ok" at this time.  I know it will be extremely hard - although not knowing any of the background, like whether there was signs of this going to happen or if it just come totally out of the blue.

I do hope you've got other avenues of support available to you - any family members or friends, mates, etc??   But if you're in need of other types of support or even possible advice, then come back to here and we'll be here to offer whatever assistance we possibly can.

Kind regards

Neil

[Natarsha]

Brian61,

Divorce is equivalent to a death and hence there will be a period of grief and mourning. Get yourself to your GP, ask for a mental health plan and book in for some government funded appointments with a psychologist to help you through this period.

Kind thoughts and prayers.

Natarsha

[Anotherone]

Hi Brian. My fiancé broke up with me just before Christmas and I feel sick too. I hope we pull through ok. All the best 

[geoff]

dear Brian, I am pleased that all the above have responded to your comment, and yes it maybe a bit late, but I hope that you will notified by the moderators that there are replies to your upsetting comment.

You have said the word 'again' which indicates that there is more to this that is a concern for you, so we would really like to help you on these other problems.

Well it's not a very pleasant Xmas gift, that your wife wants a divorce, as it was something which shocked me when a letter was delivered to me that my wife (ex) had filed for a divorce.

I could have objected to it and taken it to court, but in the end I wouldn't have won and it would also cost money, and at that stage I had none, I had to wait until the house was sold, but that wouldn't straight away.

I truly hope that you can get back to us, because you have a support group here who have been through the same awful ordeal. Geoff.