I see that you have been welcomed on another thread about voluntary hospital admission.
While I do not have a child or children with autism, I do have several friends who do. Their lives and their families lives is complex, tiring, frustrating and rewarding. It isn't easy for them, however, they manage to work, to enjoy social outings and to have a strong network of friends.
I think for my friends one of the major issues has been to get help/assistance from the state government. There is a service available in Queensland that helps parents and their children who have autism or aspergers younger than 7. Do a google search for Helping Children With Autism (HCWA) and add your state. It's a national initiative, with state support. Also do a search for 'Parents and Carers of children with autism' and find out what services are available in your state.
I hope this helps Tukimum. You are not alone, so keep reaching out when you want to. There is no pressure for you to talk if you don't want to.