Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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CamdenChucks New dad at breaking point
  • replies: 5

Hi there. I have a relatively new son who is 11 months old who I love very much. Over the last couple of months however my relationship with my wife hasn't been the best. We both work around 30 hours a week trying to juggle looking after our son and ... View more

Hi there. I have a relatively new son who is 11 months old who I love very much. Over the last couple of months however my relationship with my wife hasn't been the best. We both work around 30 hours a week trying to juggle looking after our son and work however I keep getting this built up frustration and sadness as i feel the large majority of the house work is left to me to do and on the weekends my wife leaves him with me while she does other things. I love my son so much but I do need my time by myself. Whenever I do bring this up to her it ends in a fight and i feel like im the bad person. I have suffered with depression on and off since being a teenager so I get quite upset and down with it all. Any pointers would be great. Cheers!

enoughsalt Abusive relationship and coping mechanisms
  • replies: 11

My partner has issues. And I mean ISSUES. And these issues can come out as abusive towards me - name calling, anger, childishness, temper tantrums, jealously etc. I know he has had a difficult past but the way he acts and reacts to things is worrying... View more

My partner has issues. And I mean ISSUES. And these issues can come out as abusive towards me - name calling, anger, childishness, temper tantrums, jealously etc. I know he has had a difficult past but the way he acts and reacts to things is worrying and very upsetting for me. I guess my question is - how (or can) I support someone with mental health issues like this (trauma, bipolar, possible BPD)?

RusD Long distance relationship
  • replies: 5

Used to travel regularly to see my gf (fiancce) until coronavirus grounded us for two years, finally got to travel December 2021 spent 3 months with her got married January had to return for work been waiting 5 months for her tourist visa. Tried ever... View more

Used to travel regularly to see my gf (fiancce) until coronavirus grounded us for two years, finally got to travel December 2021 spent 3 months with her got married January had to return for work been waiting 5 months for her tourist visa. Tried everything to help the process but nothing is helping ,starting to loose hope

pinkflower95 Recently got into a relationship and not sure if I am100% like him
  • replies: 4

I have been seeing a guy since March this year and he recently asked me to become boyfriend/girlfriend and I feel a bit unsure if I have made the right choice with him. We are in an open relationship at this stage and he is allowing me to date other ... View more

I have been seeing a guy since March this year and he recently asked me to become boyfriend/girlfriend and I feel a bit unsure if I have made the right choice with him. We are in an open relationship at this stage and he is allowing me to date other people He is a lovely guy, extroverted, active, considerate, optomistic, respectful, intelligent, however we are complete opposites personality wise which I have brought up to him. we both have anxiety and lack of sexual experience so that is something we have in common. Thing is, I am not sure if I am completely attracted to him or if he is completely my type. I like him as a friend and an intimate partner and he has some amazing qualities about him which I appreciate greatly and would be sad if he wasn't in my life but I worry I am doing him a disservice by not being 100% attracted to him we are both new to this and this being my serious relationship. I am unsure here

Lasch10 Is it cheating?!
  • replies: 6

Hi, Partner has been messaging a college of opposite gender on a social media platform and then deleting messages because he knows it’s upset me in the past. He says it’s so he can contact her for work stuff but it seems pretty odd to me. Still tells... View more

Hi, Partner has been messaging a college of opposite gender on a social media platform and then deleting messages because he knows it’s upset me in the past. He says it’s so he can contact her for work stuff but it seems pretty odd to me. Still tells me he’s committed to our relationship and nothing to worry about. Am I silly to think something more is going on?

adamc Mum Compares Animal With An Object
  • replies: 4

Many people would be familiar with kids saying to their parents: "Mum, why can he have a PlayStation but I can't have an XBox?" "Mum, why can he have a motorbike but I can't have a scooter?" "Mum, why can he have a bunny rabbit but I can't have a gui... View more

Many people would be familiar with kids saying to their parents: "Mum, why can he have a PlayStation but I can't have an XBox?" "Mum, why can he have a motorbike but I can't have a scooter?" "Mum, why can he have a bunny rabbit but I can't have a guinea pig?" I'm 38 and what I get from my Mum all the time is "Why are you allowed to buy all these DVDs, Blu-rays and books but your sister and I can't have a dog? Do you think that's fair?" Now, mum has been turned down by every pet adoption agency and with this comparison, my sister said they're completely different things. A better question to Mum would be "What sort of person compares an animal with an object?"

Minelle Partner hiding and lying about messaging ex
  • replies: 5

I have recently discovered that my partner has been regularly messaging an ex of his. Don't get me wrong, a message here and there even with an ex is fine by my standards if you inform the person you are currently in a relationship with that they hav... View more

I have recently discovered that my partner has been regularly messaging an ex of his. Don't get me wrong, a message here and there even with an ex is fine by my standards if you inform the person you are currently in a relationship with that they have contacted you or vice versa. Not all ex partners are people you need to go no contact with, and you can be friendly with them. However, this particular ex is a very toxic person. She has emotionally manipulated multiple men for sex and attention and then tosses them away. Anytime this person comes up in conversations with me, my partner, or any of our friends everyone agrees that she is absolutely no good for anyone. After having one of these conversations about this person, I saw messages from her on my partners phone when he gave it to me to message another person for him. They were very recent messages and not just a few, but long conversations. I was so angry and hurt that he could agree with his friends opinions and my opinions of her and then hide the fact that they still talk. I confronted him about it and he lied to me saying he hasn't spoken to her for multiple years, which I know to be incorrect regardless of the recent messages I saw. As I pushed further he changed his story and said he hasn't spoken to her for multiple months, and again I did not believe him and he changed it to having spoken to her within the last week. After a massive fight with a lot of screaming on both parts, he also informed me that he cheated on his last girlfriend with this same ex. I knew that he cheated before but never pushed for more information and only let him know how deeply it hurt me to know that he did that to his previous partner. Now knowing this extra information, coupled with hiding the nature of his contact, and then lying about it multiple times, I just don't know what to do. Since I caught him and we had that argument he has said that he can't trust me, and that I am the one with insecurity issues. He packed bags and left and has said that the relationship is over, but then continued to message me saying that he loves me. How can I trust him ever again? How am I insecure when it's proven that he hides things from me and lies? I feel as though the only way we can repair the relationship is if he cuts all contact with this person, but I also believe you cannot ask that of someone because then it becomes like an ultimatum. I have never been in a situation like this before so any advice is appreciated.

Homer1071 My partner doesn't have long to live
  • replies: 41

My partner has lung and heart disease,has been given days if not months to live we have a 23 year old son together and I have so many emotions going through my head I have angry outbursts at people and frustration is peaking off the chart

My partner has lung and heart disease,has been given days if not months to live we have a 23 year old son together and I have so many emotions going through my head I have angry outbursts at people and frustration is peaking off the chart

Jade12345 8 weeks pregnant and boyfriend wants me to terminate it but I have huge emotions towards it
  • replies: 10

So I found out I’m pregnant and at first I was sure I was going to get an termination being 21 and the stigma around young parents. However, I have now had an ultrasound and saw the baby and watched it’s heart beating and felt an instant connection. ... View more

So I found out I’m pregnant and at first I was sure I was going to get an termination being 21 and the stigma around young parents. However, I have now had an ultrasound and saw the baby and watched it’s heart beating and felt an instant connection. I felt happy seeing it and then so sad after because I now wasn’t sure I wanted to terminate. My boyfriend is not understanding or supporting me through this confusion. We are young and it’s very scary and won’t be easy but I have been independent since I was 16 and I am ready to support it and love it. My boyfriend has called me selfish for not doing what he wants and that I will ruin his life if I keep it and I just don’t know what to do.

Mrsbeec Dealing with infidelity
  • replies: 17

My head feels like a washing machine. I just want to feel myself again. I am a teacher and a few weeks ago I caught a mother in my class (also a friend) sending dirty home movies to my husband. He confessed and said they had been texting for 4 months... View more

My head feels like a washing machine. I just want to feel myself again. I am a teacher and a few weeks ago I caught a mother in my class (also a friend) sending dirty home movies to my husband. He confessed and said they had been texting for 4 months!! He said it was just casual conversation, but he knew it was wrong and hid it until one night it became sexual conversation. I found the video on my iCloud as she sent it via link sharing and I had set his phone up with my Apple ID. I saw no more of 10 seconds of it before I was throwing up. My husband of 20 years apologised many times and said they never had any physical contact, but she did talk to him at school (we both work there) and she lives in my street. I have taught all 3 of her children and teach one right now. I am apparently their favourite teacher, but I feel like it was a way for her and my husband to connect. He blocked her, has answered every question and is really trying and I don’t want to throw everything away, but the hurt inside is enormous. During the day I don’t think about it and we have been working on our marriage, which honestly thought was great, but at night or when I’m alone my head goes into overdrive. I create conversations in my head and analyse everything that has happened for the past few months. I go and reread his texts seeing if there was a hint he was cheating and I feel like I’m going crazy. I haven’t told anyone because I’m embarrassed and I feel stupid. I want to continue to work on my marriage and we are having counselling, but I feel like I’m going to think about this forever. My husband has promised he never felt anything and he was stupid (a lot worse words used) but I’m under the impression she wants something as she is walking her child in down to his office, but he is avoiding any contact with her like he promised he would. (I can see everything from my classroom). She looks cranky he’s not there and she dresses right up to do the drop off. I have to act professional but my heart is shattered. I want it to stop swirling around and I want the pain to go away.