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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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JustAnYtka Food Shaming
  • replies: 1

This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one o... View more

This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one of my traits is that I have a very restrictive diet and very few safe foods. So tonight I ate pretty much of all my dinner except for a piece of tomato, but I'd already had a few pieces and I was full. About an hour after eating, I went to get a bit of chocolate for dessert and couldn't find it. Now my mum has a really frustrating habit of hiding foods that she thinks I shouldn't be eating without even talking to me about her concerns, so I knew that she had hidden it. I asked her of she had and she said yes. So I asked her why and she told me that I eat too much unhealthy food and not much healthy food. This is true, but that tonight I was really proud of myself and I guess I just wanted to treat myself a bit. She said get a piece of fruit. This type of conversation is really really frustrating and makes me loose trust in her because she knows about my struggles and the actual diagnosis behind them. She always says eat what you can and when you can but then later on gets mad at me for eating unhealthy or not enough.Another thing that frustrates me is that if she didn't have an actual diet (she's recovering from a stomach bypass) she would be eating worse food than me, and she did pre surgery. She would get upset with me having a small bar of chocolate every night but then she would go eat a whole box of chocolate icecreams. Right now I'm so frustrated that I want to scream and cry and yell. Thanks for reading,Ber

Bill of Silence Half Sister Stalking me
  • replies: 6

I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workpl... View more

I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workplace and their reputation by her using their letterheads in her emails. She has abused everyone helping me and obtained over 300 emails from the Public Trustees to accuse me of breach of the stalking caution, when it is the opposite. As she is a psychologist everyone does what she wants, even the Police. I told the Police these emails are confidential and private and cannot be used as evidence. As they are to do with my father's inheritance as this half-sister is not related to him. Again, a Hostile brother sends her an email with no mention of her name but the Police Assume it was about her and use it as evidence against me. As she is a psychologist the Police Always side with her. Over her actions after 2017 she has put me in hospital and driven me to a state of Suicidal Tendencies and the Hospital psychologist can see what she is doing is illegal. That now after getting mental health support and I feel a lot better, by just ignoring her and blocking all contact with her. My Late father's friend can see that I have done nothing wrong, but she will not stop stalking me until I am deceased, so she claims my father's inheritance. I am Happy and enjoying my life and this Angers her, and I have a lot of support. Not going to waste more money on Solicitors. So, I am waiting to see how this develops. Has anyone got any advice what to do? I just cannot escape her and as she is a psychologist it makes it harder.

-B- This marriage feels so unfair
  • replies: 2

I never thought that I would be here. I am in my 30s, married for less than a year to a man I had an affair with. We have a new baby together and after 6 months following his birth, I am back at work full time supporting my new family and husband's 1... View more

I never thought that I would be here. I am in my 30s, married for less than a year to a man I had an affair with. We have a new baby together and after 6 months following his birth, I am back at work full time supporting my new family and husband's 17yo (from prev. marriage) that the ex-wife kicked out of home. I have welcomed this kid into my home with open arms and he has no manners, no hygiene, contributes nothing and I cook, clean and do his washing. I am burnt out, feeling neglected and taken advantage of. My husband quit his job to care for our baby full time. I try so hard to push myself every day to perform at work, care for our family and be a loving wife. The second I express that I'm stressed or need help, my husband takes offence and distances himself from me. Even if I'm sobbing on the bathroom floor, I am ignored. I am always the one to approach him, apologise for being emotional and bridge the distance. I am emotionally exhausted. Is this normal for new mums to feel so neglected? If I didn't love my husband as much as I do, I would be asking him for a divorce. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Echtis A few things.
  • replies: 1

Hi. I'm 24M. Unlike most other people my age I live on my own and have since I was 17/18. This is because my parents, or rather my mother, was incredibly abusive in ways that I won't go into detail here. My father wasn't abusive, but he did nothing t... View more

Hi. I'm 24M. Unlike most other people my age I live on my own and have since I was 17/18. This is because my parents, or rather my mother, was incredibly abusive in ways that I won't go into detail here. My father wasn't abusive, but he did nothing to attempt to stop what mum was doing to me. On one hand, I hate both of them, and wish for nothing more than to never speak to them again. On the other, despite mother denying any of it happening, they treat me very well when I visit them on occasion, which unironically makes me trust them less. On the other, life is hopefully long, and things and people can change. I'm sure part of this is some form of warped attachment. I keep them at arm's length where I can safely disengage. Secondly, something I am slightly more uncomfortable talking about, is a friendship with a young woman who I actually quite liked. I'll spare the details, but I liked her, and it seemed she liked me, but I was uncomfortable and felt strange with the age gap between us despite us both being adults. She initially claimed to be lesbian, but quickly went back on it, and is now in a relationship with a young man. I was quite upset by this, and I actually wrote her a pretty mediocre love song before I found out she was dating someone. I am uncertain of what details I can or should post, so I'll say that we have very similar interests, dreams, personalities, etc. I get that I missed my opportunity, but I know it would really hurt her if I moved on as much as it would hurt me. I've really struggled to find connections, but obviously it is quite torturous seeing someone you like with someone else. I would be giving up a friend first and a romantic interest second. Either way, at least thought I'd share my thoughts and feelings at the very least, maybe get some advice from more level headed people as I do not have many friends and I am not getting support from the ones I have. Thanks.

Guest_2503 I miss my ex
  • replies: 4

Last month I broke up with my boyfriend whom I've dated for 3 years and have known since kindergarten (we are 20 and attend the same uni). He had told me that his mum disapproved of us being together, I pressed him for more information which he hesit... View more

Last month I broke up with my boyfriend whom I've dated for 3 years and have known since kindergarten (we are 20 and attend the same uni). He had told me that his mum disapproved of us being together, I pressed him for more information which he hesitantly gave me. I regret pressing him so much, but he's always been honest with me. He told me that she didn't like me because of my body (I'm 8kg over my ideal BMI). He also told me that she and a group of her church friends regularly get together and talk about how much they hate me, how fat and ugly I am and how they would never let their sons date me and urge her to break us up. She name-dropped a few of her friends who are also friends with my mother, eventually, the truth came out that she had lied about some of what they said in an attempt to make her son break up with me. She would berate him each time we went on a date and scream and harass him for it. He would reassure me that she can't control him but the knowledge of him possibly being swayed by her actions and words (some being lies) and knowing that there are so many people who hate me just because of my body (she barely knows anything else about me), was just too much to bear and I ended things with him because I knew there couldn't be a real future. I told him I didn't want to stay friends because it would be too hard to move on. I know it's probably the right decision, just thinking about him made me feel sick about myself. I didn't want to look at the person I love and instinctively be reminded of why I should hate myself. I knew that mentally I wouldn't be able to handle it long term. I've struggled with suicidal and self-hating thoughts all my life and now they're re-emerging from being triggered. I've also become obsessed with losing weight and have started restricting and purging occasionally. I also miss him a lot, our relationship wasn't perfect but it was ours, we built it up over the years, I was his best friend and he's the first person I've ever loved, it feels like we lost our agency, like something was ruined and we didn't even get to ruin it ourselves. I've texted him once since and he was very curt, I don't think he saw me breaking up with him coming. I don't want to date him anymore because I wouldn't want anything long term (with his mum being like that) but I miss him and I want him in my life, but it'll be so hard to go back to being friends because of our past feelings.

Talitha93 Just not sure what to do
  • replies: 7

hello. I haven’t posted here in a while but I’m back in a little rut and I truly really don’t know what to do….. I am just feeling really lost an anxious like I don’t know what to do. Someone that I thought was my friend kept something from me but wh... View more

hello. I haven’t posted here in a while but I’m back in a little rut and I truly really don’t know what to do….. I am just feeling really lost an anxious like I don’t know what to do. Someone that I thought was my friend kept something from me but when I asked her about it she denied it until I heard it from someone else. She then said yes I knew but I didn’t want you to not go to the appointment. I was so hurt by this especially as we have promised each other to always be open and honest no matter what. I don’t know how I should be feeling. I have spoken to her about it and I’ve told her I was upset but she seems to think I don’t have a reason to be upset. Am I just being silly or not?

Ren_n My trio friendship is starting to fall apart
  • replies: 1

I've been friends with A and B since late 2021. At least 3-4 different times in our friendship, this exact thing has happened, but it feels worse this time. A and B have known each other years longer than they've known me. They share more interests (... View more

I've been friends with A and B since late 2021. At least 3-4 different times in our friendship, this exact thing has happened, but it feels worse this time. A and B have known each other years longer than they've known me. They share more interests (One piece, genshin, anime in general, they were even in the same classes) with each other than they do with me (drawing, writing, cats. ) We recently had a break from school, 6 weeks, in this time, B contacted me once, this was just a group chat message directed at others we talked to (4-5 people in the group chat, but we're not as close with the other 2.) A contacted me 3-4 times, once for their birthday and 3 other times through discord memes because they were bored. I learned at the end of the holidays that they spoke nearly every day and even went out of state and to the same location for an actual holiday. This pissed me off a little, because every time I tried to arrange stuff with them, someone always cancelled. This was before, during and after the holidays, best seen when I pushed for us to go see a cat cafe sometime. In September. We organized for the middle of October, and then suddenly everyone else cancelled. I tried to organize again before the new year, but everyone else cancelled. Tried to organize again sometime this year, but everyone is busy. Yet they made time to hang out as a duo. We're back at school, we have 2 breaks between classes which add up to about 70 minutes. Usually we talk during this time, very often A will talk about A and B's common interests, anime, one piece, genshin. I try to participate but it doesn't work out often because I just don't care about these topics at all. This results in A and B talking whilst I stare at the ground for 70 minutes every day, 5 times a week. I hate it, I hate listening to them talk while they forget I exist. There's clearly a duo in our trio, and that's A and B. I want to find out why this happened, and go back to normal, but I don't know how. A is so loud and talks about themself and their interests so much and B laughs along, there's no room for my input or discussion about my interests too. They don't even notice when I'm gone. I hate them but I love them, I'm their friend but also a stranger, I could never yell at them but I just feel like screaming until they understand.

MacusS Still struggling - covid and lonely
  • replies: 7

Hi lovely people, I last posted last year. I was devastated to lose what was my dream gf when we’d parted on good terms but she dumped me as she’s younger and had travel and wanted to work overseas. I was out of a long term relationship and she was t... View more

Hi lovely people, I last posted last year. I was devastated to lose what was my dream gf when we’d parted on good terms but she dumped me as she’s younger and had travel and wanted to work overseas. I was out of a long term relationship and she was too - it just happened but she’s an anxious person who tends to “fly away” if someone wants to commit. I tried hard not to crowd her. We rekindled after a random run in. I was careful not to crowd her but soon after she was calling me a lot and talking through her day to day challenges. She said when we were apart she missed me a lot and would think of contacting me and would cry to her friends she wanted to call me. She then started slowly pulling away and again she called it quits. This was 8 months ago and I struggle everyday. She said I was so kind to her in her last message. I think about her everyday have a fantastic job but I’m so lonely and I miss her particularly, so much. I thought about contacting work EAP as a start. I have tried exercise, meeting others, keeping busy but I miss her dearly. Can anyone give me any suggestions or hope? Thank you

aconfuzzledone My partner made a comment about my weight.. I feel hurt.
  • replies: 1

We have been in a relationship for 13 years. We met when we were fresh out of high school. I’m 30 now and I obviously don’t look the same as I did at 18. Recently my partner commented about my belly being big, called me fat, said he’s not attracted t... View more

We have been in a relationship for 13 years. We met when we were fresh out of high school. I’m 30 now and I obviously don’t look the same as I did at 18. Recently my partner commented about my belly being big, called me fat, said he’s not attracted to me as he used to and said I don’t look good in some angles.. This really hurt me to the point I kept looping about what he said all day and just felt flat. We did talk about it but I felt unheard. Though sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I’m just overreacting or being too sensitive. I agree that my body has changed, I changed my job, I’m not as active, but I think what really is upsetting me is that he’s basically saying that IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH and his love for me is conditional. It’s also the way he frames it, I just don’t feel supported by him. I don’t want to start losing weight to give him the satisfaction and control over me. However, I do think I would benefit by being more active. I just don’t have the motivation to do it. Thanks for listening.

PsychedelicFur Guy looks at girls dating profile while spending time with me
  • replies: 1

I met up with an old uni friend from two years ago, today. he would cuddle me constantly and sit near me at university. And today when I met him he was more interested in looking at his phone.. for someone to date his the dating app. He wasn’t keepin... View more

I met up with an old uni friend from two years ago, today. he would cuddle me constantly and sit near me at university. And today when I met him he was more interested in looking at his phone.. for someone to date his the dating app. He wasn’t keeping the conversation going and I feel like crap. I feel so upset and disappointed because I thought we had something, AGES ago. And he wants someone now. although, he can’t find anyone. he doesn’t want someone who lives 30 minutes away. And he says it’s a RED FLAG if his potential partner isn’t on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. today’s meet up was horrible.