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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Deborahsh88 Need help
  • replies: 5

I need help please I don't know what to do....I'm lost and scared. I need to get out of a relationship and I don't know how. He's a sex addict and it's destroying my soul. He's too interested in other women, almost an obsession. He's on porn sites an... View more

I need help please I don't know what to do....I'm lost and scared. I need to get out of a relationship and I don't know how. He's a sex addict and it's destroying my soul. He's too interested in other women, almost an obsession. He's on porn sites and I saw he went into chatterbait. I had never heard of it but discovered its a live Web site. It makes me sick. I live in a caravan with him and my furbaby dog Audrey and another furbaby my 3 month old lamb. I cant live without my furbabies so they are with me forever. I have no one .... no family or friends.. I am truly alone. Where do I start? What do I do? I feel sick and can't stop crying. I want to die. I have no home. Was in a 30 year old marriage which ended 4 years ago and been in this relationship for 3 years. PLEASE I don't know what to do.

Claudia_H Father no longer speaking to me
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, I’m a bit at a loss here. In February this year my Dad spoke to me (in person) and told me he felt like I was using him. I obviously was very upset by this. I am an avid gig goer- before Covid I would be at concerts and gigs just about e... View more

Hi everyone, I’m a bit at a loss here. In February this year my Dad spoke to me (in person) and told me he felt like I was using him. I obviously was very upset by this. I am an avid gig goer- before Covid I would be at concerts and gigs just about every single weekend of the year since turning 18 (I’m 21 now). I usually would stay at his place and I would stay the next day to spend time with him so I myself didn’t feel like I was using him. My Dad conveniently lived 10-15 minutes from the city and I lived an hour or more drive away from the city. I haven’t seen my Dad since that conversation in February. I hear from him in March to ask what my birthday plans are. I told him I had plans already and suggested we go out for dinner the week after. I got no response to that and I get a TEXT for my birthday. I was really upset he didn’t call me, it’s not like it wasn’t my 21st birthday. In between him asking what my birthday plans were and saying happy birthday to me. He says he needs my help on particular dates. I said I was happy to help and roastered the days off at my NEW job. My Dad wanted to pay me to take photos for his new business. I am a photographer. My Dad ended up TEXTING me and saying “love you ratbag” “sorry to do this to you but we have organised a professional photographer to do the photos”. I was utterly offended by this, I am a registered small business owner- I am a professional photographer. My photos would have been better then the photographers they ended up hiring. I saw the photos and thought they’d been a bit ripped off. I decided that I am (for the last time) sick of having to put in the effort to have a relationship with my father. Him and myself both believe in that friendship/being in contact with people is a two way street. It isn’t two wayed here. The next time I reach out first, in June and I only did because I got a new phone and number. We have a few texts and decided to catch up a couple days later. He didn’t respond to me and I didn’t think he was going to. He texts me a day later, the morning of the day we decided to catch up- I’d already made different plans. I felt bad but in saying that my partners family who live in a different state came up for a surprise visit. I told my Dad all of the days I was free the following week- I didn’t get a response and he hasn’t spoken to me since. (To be continued)

Telly101 Family Arguments/Moving Out
  • replies: 7

What do I do if I need to move out but can’t really afford it? My family and I keep having arguments that make me breakdown and I hate it. We can’t seem to resolve things and it’s just a continuous loop. I lash out for no reason and it causes me so m... View more

What do I do if I need to move out but can’t really afford it? My family and I keep having arguments that make me breakdown and I hate it. We can’t seem to resolve things and it’s just a continuous loop. I lash out for no reason and it causes me so much stress, I don’t want to live here anymore. I feel like I have no space in the house , I’m constantly judged and it feels like I’m being interrogated every time I do something. I don’t feel comfortable asking family/friends if I can stay with them. I can’t get a job due to personal reasons and have barely any income because of it.

Von is lost Anxiety about dating
  • replies: 7

I’ve started catching up with a guy I went to high school with, calling each other once a week for four weeks now (he lives in another state). It’s been so nice to get to know him outside of school and after all these years. I really enjoy our chats ... View more

I’ve started catching up with a guy I went to high school with, calling each other once a week for four weeks now (he lives in another state). It’s been so nice to get to know him outside of school and after all these years. I really enjoy our chats and I think he does too. In the past boys have only used me for sexual reasons mainly or just wanted something causal so this is the first time in a long time that someone seems interested in getting to know me. Because I’m not used to it, we were being a bit flirty through texts after our last phone call and I suggested sending him a picture of me because in the past boys have wanted that. He replied saying he’d rather wait until we can meet up in person and that some things are best kept secret until the right moment comes along. I now feel kind of silly and embarrassed that I suggested it and now very anxious that I may have ruined my chances for something real

Aliceee11 Boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up becuase of his mental health issues
  • replies: 8

My ex and I dated for 2.5 years, we were kind of on and off throughout the relationship. We were long-distant before, broke up this year in April and got back together in May after I moved back to his city. After we got back together, for a long whil... View more

My ex and I dated for 2.5 years, we were kind of on and off throughout the relationship. We were long-distant before, broke up this year in April and got back together in May after I moved back to his city. After we got back together, for a long while I thought everything went pretty well. However, I do notice that he has been very stressed. From this year April, he went to the emergency room for 3 times already, but doctors can never tell what is wrong exactly. About 3 weeks ago, he broke up with me saying that he tried to love me but lost the feeling. I didn't believe what he said because I can tell how much we love each other and how much we enjoyed each other's company. After that breakup, we still acted like a couple, met every day, do all the couple things... but I can tell he was more distant. Until last weekend, he asked me what do I want in a relationship, I said I want something stale. He said he can't give me the relationship I want and I suggested cutting off ties. He seems to be very painful, he cried so hard and told me how much he cared about me how important I am to him but still insisted that we need to break up. I always felt there are something wrong but not sure what is it. Then this week Tuesday, he called me to see how am I doing, he finally told me that he met a girl in the emergency room, they had similar symptoms (increased heart beat, anxiety, etc). He feels he can relate to her and they have started to talk since then, he promised that they didn't do anything except for talking but he feels he was emotionally cheating on me. Combined with other things in our relationship, he wronged me too much and doesn't deserve me. He's also worried that he might be a burden to me if he got sued and went broke (which is the thing he has been anxious about, although the possibility for that to happen seems to be 0% to me, but he's super worried). I told him I feel he's experiencing mental health issues, he said he knows that but he doesn't know what to do and doesn't trust psychologists. Eventually, I convinced him to get a mental health care plan and see a psychologist soon. But he insisted that he can't have a relationship with me now he has to figure out all the things on his own. He said the roller coaster of his emotions will do more harm to me and he doesn't want that. I love him a lot, we had such a beautiful relationship before his mental health issues became so obvious. I regret that I should have talked about mental health to him earlier and really want to be there with him. But he doesn't give me the chance now. I can tell the break-up is also very painful to him, he cried a lot even more than I do since our break-up. He said he will try to figure things out and will contact me when he feels ready. I don't know what should I do now. Should I just cut off contact completely and try to move on, or be there for him as a friend?

jsm1974 Not sure how to support my wife
  • replies: 27

Hi My wife and I have recently (sort of) decided to separate, or rather she wants to separate (but I don't). We've always had a truly enviable relationship, but things started to decline on her end when she started working from home, then really inte... View more

Hi My wife and I have recently (sort of) decided to separate, or rather she wants to separate (but I don't). We've always had a truly enviable relationship, but things started to decline on her end when she started working from home, then really intensified with the lockdown. She is most definitely suffering from burnout but on top of ADHD and anxiety issues. She didn't love her job before (she teaches English to non-native speakers), she really started hating it when she had to do it online. Her feelings of frustration and anxiety have caused her to see our apartment as a negative place, so about two months ago she started staying at a friend's place at first only saturday nights, but eventually all weekend, every weekend. Unfortunately I was also scooped up as part of our apartment, so she lost her feeling of connection to me as well as sexual attraction. There is a pretty clear connection between her stress levels and those feelings, but this is impossible to see when you're in a crisis. While she is well aware of these issues and has started doing therapy as well as taking antidepressants (which I fear may have actually made things worse over the past few weeks), she has a difficult path ahead, so I want to support her. Despite my efforts to help her relax (setting up our bedroom for massages, making some of her favorite meals/desserts, putting her up in a hotel for the weekend so that she could be completely alone, etc.), her mood and outlook have only gotten worse. She recently decided that she wants to move into separate places, yet has since also talked about quitting her job, which we talked about her doing before she mentioned separation, and trying to find something she doesn't dread doing. She is quite open about the fact that she doesn't know what is going to happen, so I have had to come to terms with that, but it isn't even clear what she wants to happen in the short term. I feel conflicted, because she keeps telling me she needs time and space, which I have tried to give her, but at the same time I also know that she needs support right now. I'm concerned that without support, she will get discouraged with her therapy and give up. The past three weeks have easily been the worst of my life, but I am trying to be strong for her. This is complicated by my own anxiety and depression issues, but I'm now in a better position to support her. I just don't know the best way to do that, especially if we separate.

Chansy Unsure of how to cope
  • replies: 4

My husband and I have been together for 9 yrs and married for 8. We have by no means had a perfect marriage, but things in the last 6 months have been the worst. We have both started drifting apart, while being in eachothers faces. He told me on Frid... View more

My husband and I have been together for 9 yrs and married for 8. We have by no means had a perfect marriage, but things in the last 6 months have been the worst. We have both started drifting apart, while being in eachothers faces. He told me on Friday that he wants to move out, and he doesnt want this anymore. We were meant to be buying a house together, but instead, he has already started planning to buy an apartment. All of my family are overseas, and my friends are supportive, but they cant really do much. I have been crying almost non stop for 3 days. I have a constant knot in my stomach, and I'm not sure how I am meant to cope. I havent known life on my own, or without someone being there all the time for me. I'm scared, confused and I dont know what to do.

Toll0321 Custody
  • replies: 3

Can you lose your children if you've had thoughts of suicide but seeked help and been given the clear by doctors?

Can you lose your children if you've had thoughts of suicide but seeked help and been given the clear by doctors?

Newbie78 Toxic personality
  • replies: 4

Hi, I am wondering of anyone here has had experience with a friend or partner who has a toxic personality? I have read a bit about it and think I may be dealing with one. Keen to find a therapist in this field.

Hi, I am wondering of anyone here has had experience with a friend or partner who has a toxic personality? I have read a bit about it and think I may be dealing with one. Keen to find a therapist in this field.

antionette I don't know how else to support my depressed adult son.
  • replies: 3

Hi, Long story short. I have a loving husband and 3 children. My youngest daughter has depression and has had medication and support for a few years now. My Older 20 year old twin son has been diagnosed with depression a few months ago. Hind sight is... View more

Hi, Long story short. I have a loving husband and 3 children. My youngest daughter has depression and has had medication and support for a few years now. My Older 20 year old twin son has been diagnosed with depression a few months ago. Hind sight is a wonderful thing. he should have been seen to long ago as well. He is on medication that I don't think is working - it is the same one we originally had for our daughter, which didn't work for her. He also drinks quite a bit and smokes cannabis which he says helps him sleep. He goes to work and then goes to a mates house until meal time, eats and then retreats to his room. I know there is no right or wrong way, but I get to the point when he comes home and is in a rage over minor things and breaks doors that I want to kick him out. I couldn't actually do it. He won't talk to professionals and his GP is on holidays for the next week and is extremely hard to get in to see. I don't want to yell and make him feel worse. But I also don't want to accept how he makes us and the rest of the family feel. He knows he is struggling and we know he is trying. Any advice is welcome