Tired

[Delectable]

I’m tired of a lot of things, of doing this thing called life alone. I chose not to have children after living a traumatic childhood till I was 13 and placed in stare care. I never experienced love from my family or my past boyfriends. I have spent my entire life feeling never good enough for people, in the last fifteen years after I left a relationship I have felt more distant then ever. I worked as much as possible so I was either tired and didn’t think about the loneliness. I lot a few contracts and started baking, giving the food away when I could afford to do so. I’ve rented for the last 15 years and have had to do one bad move which was very hard on me giving away a beautiful harden and accessories to people I thought were friends but users in the end as I only live 30kns away and they choose to have nothing to do with me. I only work one day now and am struggling with filling in time, I do exercise every day for an hour, but there’s still over 13 hours to fill in. As i live in Victoria near NSW I’m stuck because of the coronavirus in Melbourne and not allowed out of my state though my area hadn’t had any cases for 90 days.

Tired of making friends to be let down by then, one life friend said speak to the psychologist, so I speak once every 6 weeks. I really don’t see much point continuing my life, there’s only so much one can take and I feel like ending my life especially iff I cannot go to Queensland in December for Christmas which I have not had Christmas for over 35 years with anyone. I do not take drugs or drink alcohol, just extremely overtired of my living.

[Hanna3]

That cucumber salad recipe sounds wonderful, Delectable. Would you have that as a side dish?

[Guest_1643]

we used to have it as a side dish, in a small glass bowl - so nice and cool and fresh

As an accompaniment to meat meals it was a nice balance.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Delectable -

ur recipes are great thanks

Did u find out when u get in with the psychiatrist?
i can't get in before mid jan....

i guess that's not too bad.
i'm having to learn to be patient as i think the better doctors tend to have waiting lists and i'd rather see someone with some skills and heart.

How r u doing D, i hope u are well and have been enjoying ur cooking

[Delectable]

Chilled Sour Cherry Soup (Hideg meggyleves)
500 grams sour cherries – pitted
3 tablespoons of sugar
1 cinnamon stick
10-15 pieces of cloves
200 ml (3/4 cup) thick cream (20-30%)
1000 ml water
Juice of half a lemon

Instructions:
In a soup pot cook the pitted sour cherries in water with 3 tablespoons of sugar, the cloves and the cinnamon stick until cherries are cooked, it takes about 5-10 minutes.
Remove the pot from the heat. In a bowl, mix the heavy cream with some soup liquid and pour this mixture back into the soup pot. (You cannot add the cream directly to the hot liquid, as it will cause it to curdle. You need to temper the cream first.)
Bring it back to a boil. When it starts boiling, turn the heat off and add the lemon juice slowly, spoon by spoon. Taste it. It is a refreshing soup with a nice balance of sweet and sour. Add more sugar or lemon juice if necessary.
Cool the soup to room temperature in a cold water bath and refrigerate until cold.

The psychiatrist have not called me back and it’s a waste of time trying to get hold off them as they say they don’t have your referral even though it was faxed 2 times, guess they aren’t interested in giving me an phone appointment, and I cannot afford to see one where I live. I hope you enjoy the recipes Sleepy and you can afford the ingredients.

[Delectable]

Hungarian Beigli – Christmas Walnut Roll
For the dough:
500 grams plain flour
100 grams butter
100 grams lard
1 teaspoon sugar
50g icing sugar
120 ml milk
2 whole eggs
15 grams yeast
1 sachet of vanilla sugar
Zest of half a lemon
Pinch of salt

For the walnut filling: x 2
200 grams finely ground walnuts
1 handful of coarsely chopped walnuts
100 ml milk
100 grams icing sugar
A pinch of ground cinnamon
2 tablespoons of raisins – optional
2 tablespoons of apricot jam
1 coffee spoon of lemon zest
1 coffee spoon of orange zest

Other:
1 egg for eggwash

Instructions
Dissolve 1 teaspoon of sugar in the lukewarm milk, then add the yeast, wait a few minutes until blooms.
Mix the flour with the butter and lard by hand. The mixture will be quite crumbly.
Add 2 whole eggs, the icing sugar, pinch of salt, vanilla sugar, lemon zest and the yeast/milk mixture. Knead thoroughly. Add more flour if necessary.
Divide the dough into 4 balls, cover and let rest for 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, you have time to make the walnut and poppy seed filling.
Walnut filling: In a pan heat the milk with the sugar, bring it to a boil. Take the pan off the heat, add the ground and coarsely chopped walnuts, the raisins, the lemon and orange zest, the cinnamon and the apricot jam. Mix well and let it cool completely.

Heat the oven to 180°C (355°F). Line a pan with parchment paper.
On a floured surface roll out each piece of the dough into a rectangle measuring about 12×14 inches (30×35 cm).
Spread the walnut or poppy seed filling on the dough while leaving approx. 1/2 inch empty edges on each side, and roll up lengthwise. Make sure it is not too tight and not too losse. Carefully transfer the rolls onto the baking sheet.
Egg wash: Separate the egg, set the egg whites aside. Gently whisk the egg yolk and brush the top of the 4 rolls. Let them sit in the yolk dries, it will take about half an hour or so. After the egg yolk has dried, brush on the egg white, let it dry in a cool place, if possible not in the fridge.You can leave them overnight and bake the next day.
Prick on the top with a skewer, making sure it goes all the way through. It allows vapor to escape, that could cause the pastry to split, also prick a few holes in the side.
Bake the rolls for about 30-35 minutes or until golden brown. Keep the rolls in a cool and dry place and slice them only before serving.

[Hanna3]

Thanks Sleepy, it sounds refreshing!

[Guest_1643]

Hi Delectable - thanks

Maybe what happened with the psychiatrist wasn't personal and they are struglging during Covid with many appoitments and to keep organised.

Can you email them the referral?

I don't thnk it means they don't want to see you if they haven't followed up. They could really want to see you and help you and just simply have a lazy receptionist who is acting in a way unconnected to the beliefs and practise of the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist has probably ont had yet the oportunity to see the referral.

[Delectable]

There’s no email, just a phone and fax number. They said they will call me on the triage system so they obviously don’t think I need any help, anyway there’s better people out there they are helping then someone like me, if they can save someone’s mother, wife, husband, aunt and so on that’s better. I hope you’ll enjoy the recipes, it was 35 today. Left home at 6.30am and got home at 7.30pm

[Delectable]

Ingredients:
3 egg yolks
2 Tablespoons sugar
pinch of salt
2 Tablespoons sour cream (I use reduced fat)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon each lemon & orange zest
3/4 cup plainflour


up to 2 Tablespoons additional flour
oil for frying (sunflower or canola)
1/2 cup icing sugar

Instructions:
In a small bowl using an electric hand mixer on high, beat egg yolks, sugar and salt until thick and lemon colored - about a minute.
On low speed, stir in sour cream, vanilla, zests & flour.
Stir in enough additional flour to form a mass (1-2 tablespoons)
Transfer to a floured surface and knead 50 turns (about 2 minutes), adding extra flour as needed.
Divide dough in half, keeping extra covered with plastic.
On a floured surface, roll each section paper-thin to at least 12” across. Cut into 1 1/4-inch strips. Cut strips into 5-inch lengths. Make a slit in each strip. Pull one end through slit to make a bow tie.
Deep fry in oil at about 350-365° F for about 30 seconds, turning once using 2 forks, until lightly golden on both sides. Do not crowd.
Drain on paper towels. Let cool an sprinkle with powdered sugar.
To re-crisp place on baking sheet in a 325° oven for about 5 minutes. Cool completely and re-dust with fresh powdered sugar.
Note: Chrusciki are best served right away but can be stored at room temperature for several days. I store mine on a large platter, separating the layers with waxed paper, and cover them all with aluminum foil, not plastic.

[Guest_1643]

wow 35 thats beautiful

The triage and psych don't know if u are a mother or anything like that

Please don't let a technical hiccup deter u from getting help

This week the gp's secretary's called to cancel my appointment just a few hours before i was set to see him

i am a new patient - so they called up and said that he's had too many emergencies and they want to cancel me because i'm new.
They did cancel me.
I had to call back and say I have my own reasons for seeing him and they are important to me. The gp had nothing to do with it and in the end when he did see me took me on as a patient and agreed to continue to see me long term.
The system is terrible to us all. It doesn't matter if ur a wife or mother. It's just a terrible system.
U are precious and a valuable person, the most important. don't let anyone tell u otherwise.