new person

[ecomama]

Hi everyone
not sure what parts to disclose here, feeling very uneasy posting. I feel like a lot of people here, know that I'm socially isolated but feel it's safer this way. I have a lot of mixed feelings due to covid19; feeling freer or even happier that movements were restricted as I have had little choice but to live this way for a long time. Then I realised how odd this reaction is, opposite to what I was hearing at work. Simultaneously I felt huge grief for the world. I'm experiencing compassion fatigue from all of this.

my life has been wrought with trauma & grief, tremendous violence & loss. I desperately sought help from authorities to stop things over many decades. I have fought so hard through courts etc, I know it has cost me a lot of mental stability a lot of the time. At least my children and I are safe atm. Feeling safe is another thing entirely!

happiness eludes me. I strive for the happiness of my children. I don't know how to attain personal happiness, so have strived for contentment. I work hard physically but feel far more exhausted by my mind. flashbacks and memories often come back relentlessly in my waking hours and in my dreams. Working hard physically helps me sleep better 🙂

I used to be very sociable, quite athletic and had a large family. The abuse has taken its toll. My relationships were undermined by the abuser, so they are lost. My physical health was severely impacted by the abuse also. I have a counsellor but I was advised by a close friend who is studying psychology to seek a more intensive type of therapy. I have completed countless hours in therapy through books, online and in person over decades. My counsellor is very impressed by my persistence, resilience and recovery but I feel awful most of the time.

I have no relationships with extended family anymore which is very sad for me. I have basically given up trying since doors are constantly closed on that front.
Soon I plan to take leave from my work to support my children all struggling in their learning from home programs. I will have to take leave on far less pay, so this presents obvious issues to an already stretched financial situation.

I know there is no magic cure for all the issues I have at hand but I still have hope that things will improve and that I can feel happy one day. I pray there are answers within this forum for me.

Thanks for reading.

[ecomama]

Hey Jack!

Oh awesome!

Tbh I wanted to shock you then catch you!!! So it must've worked lol. I thought if it didn't then I pinned you incorrectly lol.

Oh Jack you have SO GOT THIS!

Whatever's going on around you and ruminating in your head, ISN'T YOU!
Stuff in the now could be a result of many things... from neglecting ourselves / situation, to trusting others (maybe too much IDK) to feeling somewhat scattered in our goals.
(Seek Dr Joe Dispenza's free meditations online).

We don't have to have an END point in our careers!
We only have to have an IDEA of our first goal.
That's all.
One step. Just one in the direction YOU choose.

Remember YOU are at the helm. (See Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People").

Same with self-care!
Just ONE thing at a time.
(There's a Self-care thread here 😇)

There are no magic wands that I've heard of, even though I believe in the Law of Attraction quite a bit... why not lol. (There's a Law of Attraction thread here too! 🍀😂)
But none that wipe across our minds and lives and clean it all up.
But we CAN do this just one step at a time.

The thing is WHERE does change begin?
In our minds.

So if you want change / improvement then you have to change your mind first.
Our own mind is the most precious space in the Universe for each of us so please don't litter it up in there!

So from where you are right now and I know it's been super tough.... which one thing could you do tomorrow that is moving towards the mentally healthy end of the spectrum?

And in brief answer to your question how do you tell others about your MH status?
You don't have to tell anyone. (See Brene Brown's work on this).
She says stuff similar to this...Only share personal things about yourself with ppl who you know have your back. Ppl who love you and those who are not afraid to pull you up if you're out of line.

Onwards and UPwards Jack!

Love EM

[ecomama]

Hey J*

LOLOLOL @ the "so many Courses I want to do!"
So funny, it can be quite addictive! But you GO FOR IT! Why not.

I'm so impressed that you're applying for jobs so much, LOOK AT YOU GO!!
Omg (wasn't it like only a month ago that.... oh don't worry lol that's past history now).
You're Amazing.

SO HAPPY you're feeling pretty good J* that's fan fairy tastic! LOL!

Oh yeah Yvette's party was awesome!
You'll laugh when I tell you...
So Yvette wanted me to take heaps of photos.
Alexa had bought her BALLOONS with her age for behind the photos.
Yvette used them - so cool.

Then when the bunch got together, they were SO NOISY I was concerned about the neighbours next door having a whinge about the noise... so instead of "Say 'Cheese'", I said "Say 'I LOVE JESUS!'" and they did!!! lol over and over again, then Praise Jesus etc omg rofl.
You see, all of our closest neighbours deem themselves Christians!

No complaints 🤣😂😇. Lots of souls "saved" that night.

Umm yeah adjustments.
Lordy be, I've had so much less intensive intervention over the decades eg physio, chiro, physiology, Kinesiology etc etc.
And Podiatry since I was little from a school shoe issue sadly. We were too poor for new shoes and the ones I had to wear had nails sticking into my feet.
My grandfather saw the soles of my feet one day and instantly booked me in and took me weekly to have the issues dealt with. And bought me shoes too. Bless him.

Anywayyyy lol... 2 years of other Podiatrists, one who did so well for a long time, I need so much strapping as I'd torn ligaments and tendons. Wore a moon boot. She did amazing acupuncture etc. Then she lost her temper that I wasn't completely 100% healed. Omg I was trying!
So I left.
Next one was creepy.

This new one is incredible.
Yes I'm still aching somewhat, a cajillion steps at work all the time. About 5 adjustments to make to walk UP and DOWN stairs. And walk.
It's GREAT!

My body is changing lol. It's so strange! But really cool too.
I can feel "core" muscle groups that I forgot I had! hahaha.

I'm just so happy to read that you're feeling so good atm J*.
Answers to Prayers.

Love EM

[Jstar49]

Hi Em,

just briefly...... FFS what! You had NAILs sticking into your feet??!

omygod I don’t have an empathic response for that. That is extreme! Extreme abuse, extreme neglect... oh your poor feet ...

im so sorry Em, and so glad you’re getting repair work.
it’s just amazing isn’t it, when we find something that just.... works. Does IT.
my yoga today, a long walk -followed by more yoga/ stretching - is restoring my body . I feel an incredible sense of well being, that I haven’t had for such a long time.
hey thanks for the encouragement. No really, thanks, so so much!

we all just do what we can do. You, and Blue, and Sleepy, mb, Mark, Quirky, all the gang, have helped me so much, to be able to turn this challenging time around into a springboard.
I’m not going anywhere, just feeling incredibly grateful.

love

J*

[ecomama]

Awwww J* that's such a beautiful message to read.... awww lol.

I'm so GRATEFUL!

SEE that list you wrote?
The one that had:
Yoga
A long bushwalk (with dog hey lol)
More Yoga
And all the other stuff you're doing... moving closer towards your career path... having the full frontal courage to face the "stuff" in your marriage / or H / or family and or FOO however you see it... knowing there's MH support out there for you...

Just bringing it back to YOU.

Now grab that & hold onto it!
I think you're describing mental HEALTH.
It's precious.

So as we talked about before... the wheels may fall off the wagon but YOU don't have to fall off with them.
You can experience the whole range of human emotions without falling off the wagon.

It can happen all around you & TO you, even, but YOU can stay fine. JUST FINE thankyou very much lol!!

Remember detachment is a virtue.
It's mentioned in the most Holy books on Earth, as many other virtues are also.
It's not there by accident lol!

Hey maybe it was the step of finally being able to plant seeds?
LOLOLOL... whatever those steps are for YOU, they are your go tos when things get rough.

So happy J*. 😁💜

Aha yes, lots of poverty experiences in my life, far too many to mention tbh.
I must correct that post above, my grandfather DIDN'T buy me new school shoes lol oops... he put those shoes in an anvil & hammered the nails back down. I remember watching him do it now in his garage. The shoes looked like "war time" shoes for boys.
I think the steps these family members took all around me, things like that when they could've VERY easily purchased far better shoes for me or even some food once in a while for my mother & my siblings.... well it informed my adulthood POV & behaviours.

My mother had no choice at the time.
We'd been homeless.
We were living in a shed.
No electricity.
Living off food stamps.

My grandparents on the other hand.... well whatevs lol. That was a LONG time ago... makes sense I "minimised" my shoe cupboard & now only have 46 pairs lol!

Sometimes our family teach us, by their own behaviours, how NOT to be as adults!
Just noting that my grandparents were wealthy even by today's standards.
Owning multiple properties & a thriving business they retired at 50yo. That one business alone returned over $50 000 per annum in the 1970s. Plus the other income streams... they'd hate me knowing now, they could've easily afforded a $10 pair of shoes for me.

Oh well, there it is lol!!!

Love EM

[blondguy]

Hey EM.. aka 'The Bionic Woman'

www.beyondblue.org.au/bluevoices-community/activities/activity/activities/2021/02/25/peer-support-role-volunteer-on-beyond-blue's-online-forums

just for your info EM 🙂

Hugs & Respect

Paul

[ecomama]

Thankyou Paul,

I followed the link and have read some of this section before, I read more and it's pretty great.... which section specifically were you directing me to read about? lol... there's so much ...

With the Volunteering etc sections, I am interested in finding out more... it there a FAQs section? LOL!!

So many questions, that's me!

Hugs and respect to you too,

Love EM

[blondguy]

Hey EM

Beyond Blue are looking for people that are interested in volunteers who may want to be a cc if you know anyone

www.beyondblue.org.au/get-involved/have-your-say/public-consultation/activities/2020/02/11/peer-support-role-become-a-beyond-blue-online-community-champion

I hope this link is helpful

Hugs & Respect always 🙂

[Guest_1643]

hello paul and em

are there peer support workers on this forum?

that link says that applications closed in march 2020

[geoff]

Hello EM and Sleepy, Paul in all his kindness has provided the incorrect link, I'm sure it was only done by mistake as he has a lot to deal with, I'm positive he is very sorry and apologises, I'm sure he realised once he posted.

At the moment he has a lot to deal with as his mother is elderly and of course, very worried.

Here is the link and the closing date is 25 March 2021: Peer support role: Volunteer on Beyond Blue's Online forums
Closing date: for people who are interested in wanting to become a Champion is 25 March
Type: Volunteer position

Who can apply: People who've already contributed as a standard member on the Online forums
Time required: 20 minutes to apply (please see activity details for ongoing commitment).

Want to volunteer your skills and empathy to support others in the community? Beyond Blue is currently recruiting volunteer Community Champions to provide online peer support via Beyond Blue's Online forums to people experiencing anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts

It's available on a Blue Voices email.

My utmost apologies for any inconvenience and I'm sure Paul would join me as well.

Take care.

Geoff.

[geoff]

Sorry, Peer support role:

Volunteer on Beyond Blue's Online forums
Closes
25 March 2021
Status
Active now
Who can take part
People who've already contributed as a standard member on the Online forums
Time required
20 minutes to apply (please see activity details for ongoing commitment)

Geoff.